The headline reads: “Frequent criers: Elite fliers are ruining air travel.” And while I have long enjoyed Chris Elliott’s columns and blog, this one piece is way off base.

(Nice linkbait, though! Whether Chris Elliott or his editor is to blame for the title, he had to know he’d be getting a response from this blog. Chris, consider your bait snapped up and devoured.)

But Chris’ blame-the-frequent-flyer attitude makes me want to flick my loyalty program cards at him like Chinese stars in a Bruce Lee movie. Even with his caveat that a few bad apples may be to blame, it’s still not clear to me how the most frequent flyers are at fault for the mess we’re in.

But let’s hear it from him. I’ll agree with his first point, as it’s essentially a fact:

No, what irks me are two important issues. First, it’s the way airlines today are adding amenities to their premium cabins while quietly removing basic services from their economy-class sections. Food is a good example, but such additions and deletions are taking place across the board, and it shows up in every aspect of air travel, from reservations to boarding.

It’s true, the class division in flight is getting wider, much like CEO pay has been rocketing up while most workers’ wages are stagnant. There is an amenity arms race in the air, especially in international premium cabins, and the back of the plane is losing out. That’s a reasonable gripe.

But let’s continue:

The other issue? The attitude of elites. I mean “elite” in several senses of the word: not just elite-level frequent travelers and the well-to-do who can afford to pay full price for the good seats, but perhaps in a broader sense, passengers who think they deserve preferential treatment.

So you’re conflating “elite” with “elitist,” merging “first class” with “frequent flyer,” and redefining “elite” to your own purpose? This is the Humpty Dumpty Fallacy, if you’ll allow me to be an educated elite (or is it elitist?) and whip out the Lewis Carroll:

`When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

`The question is,’ said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

`The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master – - that’s all.’

Well, “elites” in the aviation world are generally those passengers who clock 25,000 miles a year or more with an airline or its alliance partners. Calling others “elites” is muddying the waters.

The remainder of the argument offers anecdotes of Travelers Behaving Badly: Naomi Campbell throwing a fit after her luggage went missing. Self-important jerks who refuse to buckle up and hang up the phone. And That Guy who demands a free drink because his upgrade didn’t clear. These are all real, undisputable examples of people being grade-A assholes. But why would you assume that all “elites” are like this?

Is this handful of bad apples “ruining air travel”? Or are the perpetual delays, overcrowded flights, BS fees, arbitrary imposition of rules when it’s convenient to the staff, (justifiably, but still unpleasantly) ticked-off crew, regional jets, increasing prices, and declining value proposition to blame for the malaise in air travel? I’ll pick the latter.

Most people with a silver, gold, platinum, or black loyalty program card in their possession aren’t the self-important traveling jerks Chris describes — or if they are jerks, they keep it civil in the sky. Most are regular folks who spend more time seated in a plane than they wish they had to. They know the rules: They take off their shoes and pull out their laptops at the security check. They stow their roll-aboards in the proper direction. They ignore the safety announcement because they can recite it in their sleep, but they pay attention to crew member instructions when so directed. And yes, they buckle up.

Elites aren’t ruining air travel. The airlines are. It’s the airlines’ world. The elites are just flying in it. Just like everyone else.

Upgraded: US Airways elite status for non-elites
Downgraded: Existing US Airways elite member satisfaction
US Airways is letting those without status buy their way into the rank and file of the elite frequent flyer set, giving them access to the upgrade waiting list and a few bonus miles. Whoo. If I were a US Airways elite, I’d be peeved at their “Try Preferred Status on for size” promotion. Much like Tim Winship argues, it’s hard enough getting an upgrade; now the airline is willing to sell your loyalty down the river to make a quick buck, thereby making it even harder to snag that wider seat with the marginally better service. Classy.

Upgraded: Virgin America
Slow-going upstart Virgin America got its approvals all lined up, and they’re officially legal to sell tickets and fly around the USA. But they’re not selling tickets yet. Their website still promises the moon. What’s the holdup? Jeez, people! August, they say.

Downgraded: Airport scales
Surprise, surprise. The scales at airports are often wrong. How often? 90% of scales were off in a Phoenix television station’s investigative report. Problems limited to Phoenix? Probably not. Try to make sure your scale is at zero when you put down your bags, but that won’t necessary avoid trouble. (Via Consumerist)

Upgraded: The little guy
Jane Waun rocks. She took Spirit Airlines to small claims court for the additional expenses she incurred after Spirit summarily canceled her flight and left her high and dry. They refunded her money for the ticket (eventually) but didn’t cover her additional costs. So she sued. And she won, in part because Spirit never showed up to fight it. 90% of success is showing up, or something like that, right?
(Update: I see Chris Elliott picked up on this, too. And he goes a step further, suggesting that everyone take every travel company to small claims court. Sue them every time, and hope they don’t show, in order to force them to change their practices. Nice idea, but small claims cases still take time! That’s probably why Spirit blew the case off in the first place. But if you have the time, go for it.)

Upgraded: Price transparency in the European Union
The EU Parliament has passed a set of rules mandating that airlines have to quote full prices, not just base fares. (Take that, easyJet!) The law needs approval from member states before taking effect, but this is pro-consumer. Let’s hope the member states pass it.

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United quietly but firmly kicked its elite frequent flyers in the pants again. It may be a relatively minor change, but it’s yet another devaluation in a program that’s getting less attractive all the time.

For years, Premier members of the Mileage Plus program have received “500-mile” coupons (now electronic) that upgraded your North American flights from coach to first class. (You get four of these coupons every time you reach 10,000 flown miles on the airline. One coupon can upgrade you for 500 miles of distance flown; thus the “500-miler” moniker.) If you couldn’t use your 500-milers, they’d expire after one year, but all was not lost: They converted to 500 redeemable frequent flyer miles in your account.

Not any more.

In another “enhancement” of the Mileage Plus program, 500-milers won’t convert to frequent flyer miles upon expiration anymore. They’ll just expire worthless if you don’t cash them in. (And let me tell you from personal experience, they’ve gotten harder and harder to actually put to use.)

But the real problem isn’t the policy change itself. It’s the fact that they deceptively changed the policy without letting anyone know, hoping that customers wouldn’t find out until it was too late.
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Wineblogger and friend of Upgrade: Travel Better Dr. Vino pays us a visit today with this report from the field.

On Friday afternoon, I made my way to LaGuardia to catch my American flight to O’Hare. Since I knew I would be cutting it close with my appointment soon after scheduled arrival, I tried to go standby the hour earlier flight.

No dice.

During the check-in on AA.com, there was no option to fly stand by on an earlier flight. When I got to the gate of the 2 PM flight, the agent told me it was unlikely that I would get on the flight.

“Would it have mattered if I had gotten on the list when I did the check-in on the web site,” I inquired?

“Nah,” she said glancing at my ticket. “You don’t have status.”

Truer words were never spoken. In the ensuing half hour, I became enthralled with my plunging fortunes, prominently on display for all in the gate area to see (providing they could work out the short form of my name). I started in slot #6, which struck me as distinctly possible.

Soon I was at #7, then #11. Then, suddenly and inexplicably, I plunged to #24. An entire bus of passengers with “status” (in the frequent flier program) must have arrived. When I saw my fortunes rise only marginally to #22 I knew it was time to pony up for the wi-fi and settle in a few gates down.

Stand-by, it’s not just a function of being early. It’s a function of being big.

– Tyler Colman, a.k.a. Dr. Vino

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Upgraded: American Airlines’ fleet
American is boosting its delivery schedule of Boeing 737-800s, to replace the aging, gas-guzzling McDonnell Douglas MD-80s that make up half their fleet. The new planes will burn 25% less fuel.

Downgraded: Cash on Frontier Airlines
Frontier will no longer accept cash for onboard payments, beginning April 1. They join other airlines like ATA and Spirit in going cashless. Cash may be downgraded, but overall, and many will miss the choice of cash or plastic, but as an aficionado of credit cards (more miles! receipts!) this is fine with me.

Upgraded: European airline merger fever!
The open skies treaty’s passage on the European side of the Atlantic is sparking chatter of mergers and acquisitions. British Airways has expressed interest in bmi, Lufthansa is peeking around Iberia, bmi, and Alitalia, and Virgin Atlantic has supposedly been poking around the continent’s airlines as well. No trans-Atlantic mergers rumored quite yet.

Upgraded: Lufthansa lounges
Lufthansa is spending $130 million worldwide to upgrade its airport lounges, which are already pretty decent. U.S. airlines’ lounges, already a sad also-ran in the global lounge wars, will seem even more outdated and under-serviced.

Downgraded: Singapore Airlines’ frequent flyer program
It’s not just U.S.-based carriers who seem hell-bent on reducing benefits for their frequent flyers. The Global Traveller bemoans the latest changes in Singapore Airlines’ KrisFlyer program.

Upgraded: Luxury hotel brands’ geographic reach
Looking for a Ritz-Carlton or other high-end hotel? It’s getting easier. The luxe chains are spreading to second- and third-tier cities.

Upgraded: Regulation
Travel companies, from cruise ships to airlines, haven’t done a sufficiently good job of self-regulating, so here come the regulators! Beyond the PBOR, we’re seeing moves toward regulating the cruise industry as well as airlines. The pressure to re-regulate is snowballing.

Upgraded: Your stinky wardrobe
Brilliant! A charcoal garment bag that deodorizes your stinky clothes. (Via Dethroner)

Upgraded: Airport bathrooms
Coming soon to Raleigh-Durham Airport: Better bathrooms! Wider/longer stalls let you keep your stuff in sight. But this has me scratching my head: “Tilted mirrors will be placed above the urinals so men can keep an eye on computer cases even as they’re going about their business.” Won’t these mirrors provide others with a great show, too? I’ll settle for cleaner bathrooms, as a start.

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If you’re an elite member of a frequent flyer program and you’re looking for a status match at United, you may have a window of opportunity, thanks to the sad demise of Brazil’s Varig. Even if you’re not a traveler to Brazil, this might benefit you.

Varig went bankrupt and lost its membership the Star Alliance, so other Star Alliance members are jockeying to pick up the elite frequent flyers in the now-defunct Varig “Smiles” program. The Star Alliance webpage lists the different status match programs that are available to Smiles members until April 30, 2007. Air Canada, Lufthansa, South African, Swiss, and TAP are all granting status matches to Varig’s elites.

BUT: United goes one further. Their rules doesn’t specify that the status match is only open to Varig flyers, either on the Star Alliance site or on their own page. So this is where it gets interesting.

The offer on the United page reads:

We are pleased to offer you the opportunity to participate in our elite status match promotion, offering top-tier flyers with other airlines an equivalent* status in the Mileage Plus elite program. This offer is valid for status matches received between January 22 and April 30, 2007.

Emphasis added. No mention of Varig, though the address and fax number for sending in the documentation are in Brazil. (The asterisk in the quote above indicates that they will match to Premier or Premier Executive, but not to Premier Executive 1K.)

Worth a shot, and a fax to Sao Paulo.

Related:
- Debating the value of elite status

(via MilesLink)

Update: From recent comments, it seems that this offer has been pulled. Sorry to those who missed out.

United Airlines is playing Santa a little late. (Or maybe they’re tipping their hat to the Orthodox calendar?) United is making it ridiculously easy to obtain elite status.

For some time, American Airlines has offered their so-called “challenges,” whereby you obtain elite status for a full year by flying a fraction of those miles within 90 days. Most airlines have been loath to offer such shortcuts to elite status. (American’s challenges measure qualifying points, not just miles, so be sure to understand the rules. A basic overview is here. An old but generally still correct primer on the subject of AA challenges is here.)

Now United is following American’s lead and offering a similar program. This is different from United’s earlier “pre-paid” status. Last year, and perhaps earlier, United offered prepaid “gift cards” for $5,000, $10,000, or $20,000, that came with Premier, Premier Executive, or 1K benefits, respectively. But the airline’s adoption of fast-track challenges is new.

According to this thread on FlyerTalk, you’ll need to call the United Mileage Plus (1-800-421-4655) and ask to participate in the challenge. Mention offer code MPP557.

The terms: Pay $100 to participate. Then earn 6,250 elite-qualifying miles within 90 days of registering to earn Premier status. Earn 12,500 elite-qualifying miles on United within 90 days of registering to earn Premier Executive status (which gives Star Alliance Gold status). All paid United tickets qualify, and higher fare classes and premium cabins give a bonus. Only United/United Express/Ted flights count, so no codeshares or alliance flights. If you want to go all the way to 1K, however, there are two caveats: 1) You need to have been 1K in 2006 and failed to requalify for 2007, and 2) only tickets booked in the more expensive fare classes (F, A, P, C, D, Z, Y or B) will count for the challenge.

Status obtained through such a challenge will last through February 2008. Thereafter, you’ll have to earn it the hard way. Unless, of course, another challenge crops up…

If you’re going to be flying anyway, and you don’t already have the elite mojo, this might be worth your while. A mileage run (flying for the sake of miles) might be worth it, too, if the price is right. 12,500 elite-qualifying miles aren’t really that hard to obtain, and this is a really cheap route to elite status.

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Marilyn Adams of USA Today details the U.S. Department of Transportation Inspector General’s report on the state of the airlines. Mostly unsurprising: Airlines aren’t consistently following their own published rules and guidelines regarding such things like compensation for voluntarily being bumped for a flight.

Airlines? Inconsistent? Big shock.

But buried in the article, there was this nugget:

Passengers can’t make informed decisions about which frequent-flier plans to join because airlines don’t explain policies or report annual frequent-flier mile redemptions in a consistent way, the report says. It recommends DOT consider new rules to standardize airlines’ public reports of frequent-flier mileage redemptions.

Whoa, now! That would be news.

The rules of these programs are indeed often byzantine, but more importantly, it’s hard to know, just by looking at the rules, how easily you’ll actually get the goodies you’re hoping to receive. For some time, airlines have claimed that award redemptions are just peachy, and that everyone who wants a seat can get one. They generally haven’t revealed whether tickets were being redeemed at the normal “saver” level, or at the doubly expensive “anytime” award level.

It sounds as if the DOT is proposing a level of government oversight over frequent flyer programs similar to the SEC’s regulation of accounting for publicly-traded corporations. The devil is in the details, of course.

But perhaps the threat alone of such regulation will spur the airlines to be more forthcoming with the real nitty-gritty details of their programs.

Chase is offering an astronomical 25,000 bonus miles when you sign up for their United Airlines Mileage Plus Signature Visa and spend $250 on the card. There’s no annual fee in the first year. After a year they charge $60.

25,000 miles gets you a free domestic ticket.

The fine print says the offer is for new customers only, but it’s possible the bank might waive that requirement. (The link is handled by FirstUSA, which is a subsidiary of Chase, FYI.)

Via Gary Leff.

Tim Winship notes a change to United Airlines’ Economy Plus program. Getting a seat in the forward section of coach, which offers up to 5 inches more legroom than the rear of the plane, certainly has always been a great feature, especially since American eliminated their “More Room Throughout Coach.”

Now, the zone is reserved for elites in United’s Mileage Plus program, and those who pay to upgrade their legroom. (If a flight is booked solid, you can get lucky and get seats in the E+ zone, too.)

The change to the policy is subtle, if you’re not looking for it. (I sure wasn’t.) Two categories of United customers are no longer given access to Economy Plus: passengers on expensive/full-fare tickets, and elites on other Star Alliance airlines.

While it may make it easier for United elites (myself included) to find a seat in the more spacious Economy Plus section, I don’t agree with Tim that this is a good thing. For starters, the people on the expensive tickets are subsidizing everyone else. Throw them a bone, for God’s sake. That way they’ll come BACK.

And the elites on other Star Alliance airlines now have little reason to choose United for their travels. If you’re hooked on a Star Alliance frequent flyer program, you can earn miles on any of the member airlines. Why give United your cash, when, as an elite, you can get an exit row seat on US Airways?

Maybe United thinks that more people will pay to upgrade their seats, but I have my doubts. If anything, I imagine that this could reduce revenue for the airline.

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