It’s official. Our long national nightmare is over. Virgin America, the embattled airline that has yet to fly, has been approved for service in the United States.
Their time spent waiting to start flying has been a long one. I honestly didn’t think it would happen. But if you’re jonesing for an inflight service that promises to be swankier than the normal coach experience, you’ll be in luck later this summer.
The airline will be based in San Francisco, and promises to fly cross-country at prices that undercut the major airlines. Unlike the minimalist non-service of startups like Skybus, Virgin America promises to be a high-quality airline at discount prices. Sounds good to me!
Where will they fly?
Virgin America’s first flights will be between its home base of San Francisco (SFO) to New York (JFK). The airline also plans to serve Los Angeles (LAX), Washington/Dulles, San Diego and Las Vegas within its first year of operations.The airline expects to serve as many as 10 cities within a year of operation and up to 30 cities within five years of service. Additional cities under Virgin America’s consideration include: Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Fort Lauderdale, Fort Myers, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Kansas City, Miami, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Nashville, Newark, New Orleans, Orlando, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Providence, Portland, Ore., Raleigh-Durham, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, San Antonio, San Jose, Calif., Sarasota, Seattle, St. Louis, Tampa and West Palm Beach.
Not exactly thinly-traveled routes with no competition. It’s going to be an uphill climb. Expect a battle royale from United and Southwest in the San Francisco area. CEO Fred Reid, who is forced to step down within six months, may be glad that he won’t be around to fight that fight.
In the meantime, join the fun by helping them name their planes. The folks at BoingBoing already named one: “Unicorn Chaser.” Alrighty then. (Was “Goatse” rejected?) I like Edward Demott’s suggested name: “Mach Daddy.”
European-style ultra-discount airline Skybus started selling tickets this morning, with its first flights taking off in a mere four weeks (May 22). Fares start at 10 bucks, plus taxes. But this isn’t airline business as usual for passengers in the U.S. There are some important rules you need to be aware of before you buy your tickets.
For starters, they sell tickets point-to-point, which means you need to buy two separate tickets if your flight requires a connection through their Columbus, Ohio hub. Pain-in-the-butt factor? High.
Then there are the airports. Go to the Skybus website, and it looks like they fly to Boston, Los Angeles, and Seattle. In reality, they fly to Portsmouth, NH, Burbank, and Bellingham, WA. (Burbank isn’t terrible, but the others are WAY out there.) This is somewhat deceptive. (For now, they’ll fly to Bellingham, Burbank, Fort Lauderdale, Greensboro, Kansas City, Oakland, Portsmouth, and Richmond.)
But what’s really interesting — even shocking! — is their “rules of flying” and their more complete contract of carriage, the terms and conditions of your ticket. Some of them may come as a shock to the American flying public. Let’s dig in:
Checked bag? Check, please! Luggage fees
The first two bags are $5 each. After that, it’s $50 a bag. Checked bags are the American standard — 50 lbs. — and there’s a $25 surcharge for overweight bags. After Spirit Airlines started charging for bags, this policy doesn’t come as a surprise.
No Starbucks allowed: Food and drink verboten, unless they’re selling it
Everything costs money. No word on pricing yet, but there’s a charge for anything you consume, as well as for pillows and blankets, which you get to keep a la Air Canada. But here’s the kicker: “Oh, and don’t sneak food onboard unless you brought enough for the whole plane.” Huh? Self-catered food is prohibited. The contract of carriage also contains this doozy: “In the interest of safety, passengers are prohibited from carrying hot drinks on board.” Even with a Java Jacket and a cover?? Wow. No Starbucks for you, tough guy!
Amish-style entertainment: No video
“Bring a book. We’re not big fans of fancy in-flight entertainment systems.” Say no more.
No phone number means no phone tree hell
This one had me floored: “We don’t have a phone number. Seriously. We’d love to chat, but those phone banks are expensive. And a good website like skybus.com is even more convenient.” Better make sure your cellphone has a good data plan if you’re flying Skybus.
Do you work here? Ultra-low gate staffing
“You probably won’t see any agents at the gate until boarding time.” Better hope you don’t have a question or need assistance.
Board early for $10
All seating is open, much like Southwest, but you can pay a fee to jump to the front of the line. No word on whether they’re doing seating areas or zones.
PBOR? Not really
Stuck on the tarmac? Drinks are for sale! Or rather, they’ll try to sell you drinks. “We will endeavor to… make refreshments available for purchase.”
I’m sure there’s more, but this is based on a first reading of the info on the Skybus site. The way things are going, there are probably plenty of other doozies in there.
Contrast this with Virgin America, which claims to offer low fares and better service, including inflight entertainment. Two startup airlines, both claiming to be discount, but two different worlds. I know which one sounds better to me.
The war on runway safety
Bangkok’s new Suvarnabhumi Airport hasn’t worked out as everyone hoped, with cost overruns, insufficient bathrooms, and shoddy workmanship. But now, by virtue of its failure to renew its safety certificate, it’s officially unsafe. Runways have been plagued with cracks and debris. (You’ll be pleased to know that the airport is still operating as normal. Nice. Wouldn’t want to let safety get in the way of the schedule!)
The war on skycaps
Skycaps at Boston’s Logan Airport have filed a class action lawsuit against American Airlines. The suit alleges that the airline’s policy of charging $2 per bag for curbside check-in is cutting into the skycaps’ tips. Indeed, many people assume the fee goes to the skycap, but it actually goes to the airline. The fees exist at plenty of other airports and with plenty of other airlines. Will more skycaps organize and sue?
The war on horse meat
I really don’t know what to make of this. “American Airlines and Delta Air Lines said early Thursday afternoon that they had suspended transport of horse meat to overseas markets — mainly France, Belgium and Japan — where it is consumed.” Horse butchers are angry. It’s a long story.
The war on fusion cuisine
Japan’s Ministry of Agriculture will soon travel the world, inspecting Japanese restaurants and certifying their authenticity. I realize that this is as much cultural nationalism as it is a marketing device, but it’s moronic. California rolls aren’t authentic to Japan, but they’re a standard of sushi restaurants in America. Deal with it. It’s a globalized world, and the notion of a “pure” cultural product is a sham. And it’s been a sham for some time. We’ve been globalizing for hundreds of years. (The spice trade, anyone?) But if the Japanese taxpayer wants to pay for this culinary boondoggle, have at it. (Thanks Dr. Vino!)
The war on broken in-flight entertainment
I get as irritated as the next guy when the audio-video system is broken on a long flight, but attacking the staff is probably not the way to go. Customers on board several Qantas aircraft that have been experiencing technical trouble with their video system “are becoming openly abusive and threatening” to flight attendants in flight. Not cool. Better bring a book.
The war for Delta
US Airways really, really, really, really, really wants to buy Delta. They’re now offering to raise their offer by another $1 billion if the creditors agree to postpone a meeting to discuss Delta’s in-house restructuring. Wake me up when this is over.
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Upgraded: The five-star hotel, now with seven stars!
Much like video game point inflation, star-rankings are just getting silly. Following the success of their Palazzo Versace hotel on the Australian Gold Coast, the fashion powerhouse is joining forces with Australian developer Sunland Group to create 15 “seven-star” hotels. Seven stars!?! What makes a seven-star hotel better than a five-star, or the equally absurd (but unheard-of, at least to me) six-star hotel? Apparently, live exotic fish in the pool and “specially-cooled sand.”
Downgraded, potentially: Starwood Preferred Guest points
Downgraded: TripAdvisor’s reputation
The Times of London sends reporters to hotels and restaurants, offering to write positive reviews on TripAdvisor in return for an unspecified payment. Several properties were amenable to the scheme. More widespread, though: Owners writing their own glowing reviews. (The flipside, not mentioned: Owners tagging genuine, but negative reviews as “unhelpful.”) At least they still work on a five-point scale… My tip: I’m more likely to trust detailed reports that include both the good and the bad (no stay is perfect) and user-generated photos.
Downgraded: L.A.’s image
Who will recognize the City of Angels without its palm trees? As they die, they’re being replaced with oaks, etc. Sunset Boulevard, R.I.P.
Downgraded: Travel guides, travelers’ brains
Pimp my vacation! Where would Christina Aguilera par-tay in Avignon? Where is the best place to get rip-roaring, fall-down-the-stairs drunk as you go city-hopping with your Eurail Pass? And where in Italy will you find the “most awesome ancient ruins”? (real quote) MTV and Frommer’s have joined forces to create travel guides that will point readers “to some of the world’s hottest party scenes and outdoor adventures.” Did Beavis and/or Butthead get a travel writing gig?
Downgraded further: Common sense
If you only have a gallon-sized Ziploc bag, instead of the required quart-sized bag, but you only fill it with 2 tiny 3-ounce bottles, which would obviously have fit into the smaller bag, does TSA let you pass through security at Boston’s Logan Airport? No. Go buy a freedom-inducing 1-quart bag from the newsstand for fifty cents, terror-boy!
Downgraded: Brazil
Not much has been heard in the American news media since the horrific mid-air collision that cost 154 people their lives. The American pilots of the surviving Embraer business jet are still being held in Brazil. Joe Sharkey, the New York Times columnist who was actually on board the luckier plane, has been relentlessly following the story on his blog. While lawsuits and the Brazilian government (and media) are pre-emptively assigning blame to the pilots and their use of the radio transponder, Joe argues that Brazil is trying to cover up their own (military-controlled) air traffic control system. Apparently control of the skies is filled with coverage gaps, language trouble, and overworked employees who take time off in large groups — ostensibly for psychotherapy. Let’s just say that my faith in the safety of air travel is Brazil is minimal at best.
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Upgraded: Coach Seats on Cathay Pacific
You don’t hear much about economy class seats improving much. Sure, there’s lots of talk about upgrading business and first class. But it’s good to see the back of the bus being considered for upgrades. Cathay Pacific of Hong Kong, considered by many to be one of the best rides in the sky, is installing new seats that function much like business class pods: hard-shell seats that recline within the shell, not by pushing back into the space behind you. The tinkering extends the legroom without technically increasing the seat pitch. Sounds great! (via RoadGladiator)
Upgraded: Economy Snacks on American Airlines, at a Price
American Airlines will start testing a new program this week — and ONLY this week — to sell snacks in flight. Flights between Dallas and LAX, Dallas and Miami, and JFK and San Francisco are included in the test. Klondike Movie Bites ice cream, Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chunk Cookies, Lay’s Stax Crisps or Twix ’4 To Go’ candy bars will run you $3. Dannon bottled water (how many ounces??) will be $2 per bottle. Cookies, etc., fine. I wonder if the $2 bottle of water was devised before the latest airport security rules were relaxed. Not sure how many people will bite. Can’t you just get a cup or two poured for you for free?
Downgraded even more: The Ryanair Experience
Sensory overload! Ryanair is adding advertisements on the underside of the tray tables, so you’ll be staring at the ad for the duration of the flight. Yay. It just keeps getting classier. (via The Cranky Flier)
Upgraded: Continental’s Reputation
Boston’s Logan Airport wanted to make a buck by providing wi-fi access and charging everyone for it. Problem was, Continental’s clubs already provided wi-fi for free. The airport tried to shut down the free connection, but Continental resisted, took it to the FCC, and won. Hats off to Continental for defending the interests of their customers. (And if you want free wi-fi, hang out near the Continental Presidents Club and try to pick up a signal…)
Save the world’s first motel
San Luis Obispo’s Mo-Tel Inn, out of business for over a decade, is a dilapidated heap today. It’s the first motor-hotel in the world, built in 1925. But there are talks to make the building a shrine to roadside lodging. Bring it on.
Save Antarctica from over-tourism
(Is “over-tourism” a word? It is now!) 26,000 people visited the continent last year, and plans are afoot to better manage their environmental impact.
Save the children
A 12 year old boy who ran away from a “care home” got onboard a Monarch Airlines flight from London-Gatwick to Lisbon without a passport or boarding pass. How’s that for tightened security?
Save me from overreaction
United flight 923 from London to Washington was diverted to Boston due to a claustrophobic passenger who started freaking out. Early reports of screwdriver-wielding passengers bearing al Qaeda literature and Vaseline — all were hyperventilating bunk, like a game of “telephone” with real-world effects. Will every flight diversion, due to medical or other non-terrorist reason, be bold-faced breaking news on every news site now? Probably for the next few weeks. Sigh.
Save time, but not money
Unsurprising news: Private jet services that charge by the hour are doing brisk business since last week.
Save your bag check receipts
Over 20,000 checked bags have been lost at London’s Heathrow Airport in the past week. Most will turn up eventually, but still… 20,000 !!?
Save the music
Losers in the security ruckus: Orchestras. Musicians are nervous, since they tend to carry-on their instruments, or in the case of cellos, buy the instrument its own (miles-earning) seat. Hopefully the recently-relaxed rules will make orchestras’ travel possible again.
Saved! Skycaps
Winners in the luggage carnival, as predicted: Skycaps.
(image: beachcalifornia.com)
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