Downgraded: Catastrophe Management
SNCF, the national railway of France, publicly posted that 104 passengers had died in an explosion of the high-speed TGV. Thankfully, the news was false — completely fabricated, as an internal crisis management simulation. But alas, the test went awry, and the notice actually hit the newswires.

Downgraded: Meals on Continental
Continental Airlines has finally thrown in the towel and is giving up the free meals in coach. Instead, they’re instituting a buy-on-board program. Maybe I’m suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, and I’ve become assimilated by my airline captors, but this doesn’t bother me much. Yes, it’s the end of an era. But I’ve moved on. So have others. The problem, for me, is that Continental is taking another page from its colleagues in the industry and spinning the removal of an existing amenity as an upgrade.

Upgraded: Flight Attendants’ Demands
Flight attendants, represented by the Association of Flight Attendants, want training in hand-to-hand combat. I think they’re right. Other demands: portable communication devices for speaking to the pilots (makes sense); standardized (read: smaller) carry-on sizes, “so that flight attendants can look for suspicious passengers instead of struggling with oversized bags” (makes sense, but let’s not go Ryanair on sizing); shutting down onboard wi-fi during periods of “high threat” (this is particularly subject to abuse).

Upgraded: Airline Seat Ratings in Brazil
The Brazilian government is taking an interesting and unusual step: requiring airlines to grade their legroom for their aircraft. It’s like an officially-sanctioned SeatGuru, without the specific-seat-level unit of analysis.

Downgraded: Aircraft Air
This is not particularly comforting: 1 in 2000 flights has a “fume event,” which often involves the intrusion of contaminated air into the cabin. In a recent incident, engine oil seeped improperly, was vaporized, and spread through the cabin. Tricresyl phosphate in the oil can cause neurological damage. Awesome.

Downgraded: Toyotas in rental car fleets
Bad enough that Toyota’s massive recall is affecting so many vehicle owners. But it’s affecting rental cars, too. Enterprise, for example, has removed 83% of their Toyotas, but that leaves 17% in the fleet. If you’re given a Toyota at the rental counter — any rental counter, not just Enterprise — you may want to request documentation that the recall repairs have been completed.

Downgraded: TSA’s notion of a background check
You really can’t make this up: An applicant for a TSA job who had been convicted of robbery when he was 18 (and who omitted it from his job application) was denied a secure-access badge to the Richmond Airport in Virginia. But the TSA wanted him hired, and demanded that the airport overrule its existing security protocol to issue this man a badge. Words fail me.

Downgraded: Airline seats
Speaking of recalls, Air Canada, ANA, Continental, JAL, KLM, SAS, Singapore, and Virgin Atlantic have seats on their planes that are subject to a recall. The manufacturer, Koito, was found to have fabricated flammability tests. And when I say “fabricated,” I’m not kidding: They “manipulated computers so normal figures would appear on monitors when officials from the ministry observed the testing procedures.” But take comfort: As long as the seats aren’t set on fire, you’re fine! (Bonus: Toyota owns 20% of Koito.)

Downgraded: Sleepytime on American Airlines
American Airlines will start charging $8 to buy a pillow and blanket. Yes, yes, it’s another fee, another downgrade. But whatever. I’ll wear a sweater.

Upgraded: oneworld
Downgraded: SkyTeam
Sure enough, American Airlines and the other members of the oneworld alliance pulled it out, keeping JAL in the alliance. At first, it really looked like Delta and their SkyTeam brethren were the ones to convert the ailing Japanese carrier to their side. But no. I called this one wrong. Delta has expressed its regrets, and plans to invest in its own brand instead of other companies. Frankly, that’s probably a smart move.

Air New Zealand is launching new seats in its longhaul economy class, with a section of the plane fitted with “Skycouch” seats designed to create a three-seat wide airborne equivalent of a foldout couch. It’s an effort to create the first lie-flat bed in coach, a worthy goal if ever there was one.

Starting in November 2010, the window seats in the first eleven rows of economy class of newly-delivered Boeing 777-300s will have cushioned extensions (positioned like calf supports when in “seat” mode) which extend up to create a couch-like flat surface.

To reserve a Skycouch, you’ll need to buy three seats, obviously. If you’re traveling as a pair, you can buy your usual two seats and add on the third seat for half the price of the other two.

My first thought, when I saw the design, was that they were making the “ghetto upgrade” — laying down across a row of empty seats — an official booking class. And indeed, that’s the basis of the design, but expanded to be wide enough for two consenting adults.

No curtains, and no undressing, so don’t get any ideas.

The biggest shortcoming at this point appears to be the length of the bed. The width of three airline seats isn’t that big. Average seat width is 17″. Let’s even add a few inches for gaps between cushions, to be generous. (I know, gaps?) Let’s bump it up to 55″ — 4′ 7″ or 1.4 meters — across all three seats. That’s great if you’re short, but if you’re any taller than that, your feet will be hanging out into aisle. Look at the promo photo below. The guy’s head is angled up the wall of the plane:

There’s some romper room risk here, too. I can see families, especially large ones, buying these seats if they can afford them, and keeping the seats in couch mode for the duration. That means higher odds of noise. If traveling in a non-Skycouch economy seat, and looking for rest, try to find a location as far from the couches as possible.

The airline is also changing its premium economy seats and improving some service delivery in the business cabin. And there’s “new oven technology that will cook food from scratch rather than simply reheating,” but the big news is really (deservedly) the couch-in-coach concept.

A short promotional video to give further perspective (and showing the changes to business and premium economy), after the jump:
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Upgraded: The importance of champagne to Singapore Airlines
“Singapore Airlines Ltd. cut Chief Executive Officer Chew Choon Seng’s salary by 20 percent and parked planes in response to a global travel slump. It didn’t touch the S$11 million (US$8 million) it spends annually on wine and Dom Perignon champagne for first-class passengers.” Fewer planes, but constant wine budget? Say no more.

Upgraded: Clarity on what’s legal in seatback pockets
Remember the semi-secret FAA rule that banned personal items in airline seatback pockets? Last week, Henry Harteveldt tweeted that the FAA had clarified its policy. The entire policy is printed here. The short version: You can keep up to three pounds of stuff in the pocket, presumably including the SkyMall magazine, etc.

Upgraded: United Airlines
It takes a trip to the bottom to warrant an improvement, it seems. United, having peered into the abyss, has announced that they’ll be revamping their aircraft interiors (say goodbye to the “tequila sunrise” decor!) and airport lounges.

Downgraded: Aer Lingus’ Irish-ness
Ireland’s Aer Lingus has applied for an operating license in the UK, which, if granted, would enable the company to relocate its official base of operations to Britain. The reason: A labor dispute with Irish pilots and flight attendants, who are resisting a pay cut. Expect strikes if this goes through.

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Upgraded: Continental Airlines BusinessFirst seats
Continental Airlines’ international business class seats are getting a facelift. Initially promised back in August 2008, the first of the new 180-degree lie-flat seats finally debuted last week. (They call them “BusinessFirst,” but let’s be real, it’s really business class.) The new seats are four inches wider than the old seats. The interactive tour of the seat is here.

Upgraded: Frontier Airlines, front half
Downgraded: Frontier Airlines, rear half
Frontier Airlines is reorganizing the seatmap to put in an extra-legroom section in economy, a la United’s Economy Plus. The section, dubbed “Stretch,” will have 36 inches of pitch between seats. Seats in the rear will have between 30 and 32 inches. 30? That is tight.

Upgraded: The Expedia-Choice Hotels War
You may recall the spat between the Choice Hotels chain and Expedia. Expedia demanded numerous draconian terms of Choice, and Choice said no. But now… As of this evening, Choice is back in. But no details yet on what the deal actual consists of. Stay tuned.

Upgraded: Ways to share your miles with veterans
It’s not new, but on this Veteran’s Day (or Armistice Day in the UK), you may be interested in the Fisher House Foundation’s program that accepts frequent flier miles to share with “military (or DoD civilian employees) hospitalized as a result of their service in Iraq, Afghanistan, or surrounding areas, and their families. These tickets can not be used for R&R travel, ordinary leave, emergency leave, or other travel not related to a medical condition.”

Starting as early as April 2010, travelers on long-haul Air New Zealand flights may be able to stretch out and sleep in coach, for as little as $150 extra.

To get the “bed,” the adjacent seat would need to be empty (a rare phenomenon in the sky these days), so there would be no guarantee of upgrading the seat before booking. Two adjacent economy seats could be mechanically adjusted to create an angled but flat seat.

Regrettably, there are no photos to show at this point. But here are some details that were provided to analysts:

Curley, head of research at Goldman Sachs JB Were, said the airline’s management was coy about revealing too much before a relaunch of its aircraft interiors ahead of the first arrival of one of several Boeing 777-300ER planes at the end of next year. But he said he believed the seat arrangement would involve a system where both seats could slide forward and the seat rest would come up so the foot room disappeared and the passenger could spread out across both seats.

Unlike the herringbone design used in business class, where the seats fold down flat, the economy class “beds” would still have a slight pitch.

Because this is a world first, the idea also has the potential to earn millions of dollars for Air New Zealand in export revenue. Its aircraft interior design subsidiary Altitude Aerospace Interiors, set up in 2008, plans to sell its new turn-into-a-bed economy seat design to other airlines.

Given the long flights from New Zealand to nearly anywhere else in the world, it makes perfect sense for this particular airline to be spearheading this. And this sounds like a fantastic idea for those looking to travel more comfortably on the cheap.

But it’s no substitute for a reserved seat in a premium cabin. There’s always a big risk that the flight will be full, and that the adjacent seat won’t be available. But this is creative thinking. I’m looking forward to seeing the design.

Related:
- Lufthansa considering bunk-bed style sleeper seating in economy class
- Airline seating: Standing, alternating, elevated, and now, sideways
- A step up for economy class seating
- Three people, six arms, four armrests: Can they coexist?

Upgraded: Bad ideas made real
Remember the proposal for sideways seating on commercial airlines? DesignQ, the company that proposed the scheme, is moving toward testing — including crash simulations — by the end of 2009. I am honestly surprised the design is being pursued this aggressively. We’ll see how those tests go. Here’s a reminder of what the designers have in mind:

Downgraded: Hilton hotels in Venezuela
Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has nationalized another Hilton-managed property, this one on Margarita Island. It looks like the 154 timeshare owners are out of luck. And yet, the hotel is still in the Hilton system, and maintains the Hilton branding. Huh?!

Downgraded: Hotel reviews… for libel
TripAdvisor contributors, take note: If you’re writing a scathing review of a small Australian hotel or inn, you may find yourself the defendant in a libel suit. Companies with fewer than 10 employees are legally less restricted in suing for libel than larger firms, apparently. But the best defense for libel remains the truth.

Downgraded: USA Today
USA Today’s circulation took a 17% hit, and Gannett’s management placed the blame on a decline in travel. Those papers that show up in front of the hotel door sure do add up!

Downgraded: Pilots’ holsters
Remember the pilot who discharged his pistol in the cockpit and shot a hole through the fuselage, in-flight? He’s been permitted to fly again, 18 months after being fired by US Airways for the incident. In his defense, “the Department of Homeland Security faulted the design of holsters used by pilots who carry their weapons on board planes. The department’s inspector general said the design increased the chance of accidental discharge when pilots inserted their guns in the holsters.” But why a pilot needs a holstered sidearm — behind a locked cockpit door — in the first place isn’t clear to me. The pilot is no longer allowed to carry a weapon aboard.

Upgraded: Peep shows for UK airport security
The US isn’t the only country installing full-body through-the-clothes scanners at airports. The UK is doing so as well. Yes, the systems are designed to show hidden weapons. But “the full body scans will also show up breast enlargements, body piercings and a clear black-and-white outline of passengers’ genitals.” Black-and-white nude silhouettes are already visible to security personnel at Manchester Airport. Passengers have the right opt out of that screen and choose a more traditional scan instead.

Downgraded: Glib descriptions of getting upgrades
Upgraded: Smackdowns
Gary Leff and I got the same e-mail from the folks at TripBase, promoting a post on their blog describing how to “almost always” get upgrades. The post is yet another piece of upgrade disinformation, perpetuating mythologies that may have once held sway but no longer mean anything in today’s airline environment. Gary has a fantastic point-by-point takedown of the piece.

“The last bastion of decent airline customer service begins its inexorable slide towards Ryan-ism.” So writes reader Hamish in response to British Airways’ announcement that they’ll be charging a fee for advanced seat reservation, beginning October 7. If you want to book an aisle, window, or God forbid, emergency exit seat, it’ll cost you. For ANY seat, not just the most desirable ones.

The rates vary by class and distance: £10 per person for European economy, £20 on long-haul economy or short flights in business class, emergency exit row will cost £50 (bookable between 10 and four days before departure), and £60 for long haul trips in business class. No charge for first-class cabins on three-class aircraft.

This isn’t just the “preferred seating” reservation charge that many US airlines offer. It’s indeed more in line with a discount carrier like Spirit or Easyjet.

Mind you, British Airways hasn’t been very friendly in the realm of seating assignments for some time. Back in 2006, I posted about how they limited the window when you could select seats to 24 hour hours before the flight. The new policy opens that window, but at a price.

In the LA Times’ blog, Jane Engle calls out the British Airways PR spin on the fee:

Here’s how British Airways described the new fees in their e-mail to agents: “Effective Oct. 7, 2009, your British Airways customers will have more control over their seating, with our new paid seating option.” I kid you not.

That’s not far from the same language they used in 2006: The ban at the time (of all seat pre-reservations) was “designed to simplify the process of choosing a seat and give all customers more transparency and control of the seating options available on their flight.” Simpler for whom?

British Airways tried to piss on you and tell you it was raining in 2006, and they’re doing it again now. Lufthansa is looking better and better.

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