Downgraded: United unplugs customer complaint phone line
The Indian call center that took United Airlines passenger compliments or complaints is being shut down, in favor of going entirely e-mail. “United spokeswoman Robin Urbanski said the airline is able to respond better to customers who write, since they often include more detail, making it possible to provide a more specific response.” Not to mention that sending a form letter response is faster than having a real conversation. And I’m positive every disgruntled passenger appreciates the convenience of requiring them to take the time to write, rather than make a quick call from the road… Sure.

Upgraded: Transatlantic deals on Virgin Atlantic
Virgin Atlantic has a great sale going on right now over the pond, with economy fares as low as $453 round trip including taxes, and premium economy for as low as $675. Best part: No advance purchase. Buy today, leave today! But fares aren’t just last-minute fares, either. But no summer fares. You’ll find the cheapest prices from Feb 11, 2009 – Mar 22, 2009 or Oct 22, 2009 – Nov 30, 2009.

Downgraded: $0 airfares
I’ve always felt that companies should honor the prices they publish. And in an era of airlines that pay you to fly them, why wouldn’t a passenger think that a $0 airfare (plus taxes) was legit? Alas, tickets booked on Northwest at that last Wednesday fare aren’t being honored, unless the passengers are already mid-trip.

Upgraded: Inflight wi-fi live on Southwest
If you’re flying Southwest today (Wednesday, Feb. 11), check to see if you’re flying on aircraft #901. It’s the first plane equipped with inflight wi-fi. The plane is routed OAK-ONT-PHX-SAN-OAK-SNA-PHX-OAK-PHX. And while the service is being tested, the wi-fi is free.

Downgraded: Reading, Geography, Responsibility
A Thomas Cook travel agent mistakenly booked a passenger to San Juan, Puerto Rico, instead of San Jose, Costa Rica. SJU instead of SJO. Bad mistake. But didn’t the traveler bear any responsibility to check the tickets — or heck, figure this out at the departure airport?? I love her quote, though: “I looked around the airport, saw posters of Puerto Rico everywhere, and thought: ‘What am I going to do? Where is Puerto Rico? Where am I?’” Yes, “where is Puerto Rico.”

Downgraded: Surprise
Headline: “Surprising number of companies cut travel spending.” Umm, “surprising”? Have USA Today’s editors been so insulated from the economic crisis that they’re shocked that travel spending is cut back?

Upgraded: Job applications on Virgin Atlantic
The unnamed author of this complaint letter to Virgin Atlantic, who ranted against the food served on board his flight from Mumbai to Heathrow, has been offered a new job: food tester for Virgin. Call me biased, but I still like Robert P.’s letter to Midwest Airlines better. (”You have chunks in your beer.”) Hey Robert, get any job offers lately?

Upgraded: Air Canada’s forms and applications
Remember the requirement that overweight passengers on Canadian airlines need to get a doctor’s note in order to get a second seat at no additional fee? The form that doctors must fill out is priceless. It’s practically designed to make both doctor and patient uncomfortable and embarrassed. To wit:

Have your patient sit on a paper covered examination table. Rest a ruler or straightedge on the left side of patient at the widest point (hip or waist) as shown on diagram below.

Mark the touch point between the ruler and the paper as Point A. Rest a ruler or straightedge on the right side of patient at the widest point (hip or waist). Mark the touch point between the ruler and the paper as Point B. Measure the distance between Point A and Point B. Indicate this measurement above under d) Surface Measurement.

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Upgraded: Extended stay hotels, again
Hilton is adding a new chain to its lineup: Home2 will be a new extended-stay brand, with an intended price point around $100 a night (less than the existing Homewood Suites brand in the Hilton family). The development cost is estimated at $70-75,000 per room. Launch locations are in Alabaster, AL, Baltimore/White Marsh, Charlotte, Elko, NV, Gadsden, AL (Alabama, again!), Jacksonville, NC (not FL); New York City, and three locations in San Antonio.

Upgraded: Ease of investing in a money-losing industry
Warren Buffett once said, “…if a capitalist had been present at Kittyhawk back in the early 1900s, he should have shot Orville Wright. He would have saved his progeny money.” Well, the assume that ol’ Warren isn’t putting money into in the new exchange-traded fund that invests in airline stocks, including 30% in non-US airlines. The symbol for the Claymore/NYSE Arca Airlines ETF: FAA. How clever. But will the folks at Proshares come up with a double-short airline ETF?

Upgraded: The return of all-business class New York-London flights
Maxjet, Silverjet, and Eos may be gone, but British Airways is bringing twice-daily all-business class flights between London and New York back to the air. The twists: 1) The service is on the smallest plane yet to fly the route, an Airbus A318. Not ‘19. Not ‘20. Forget ‘21. ‘18. 2) Instead of Heathrow, Gatwick, Luton, or Stansted, this flight will use the very centrally located London City Airport, which thusfar has only been used by regional jets to short-range destinations. 3) They’ll allow wireless text messaging and e-mail on board, but not phone calls. (hat tip Jared Blank)

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Airline employees in the UK have gotten canned for making derogatory comments about their airline’s passengers on Facebook.

A group of Virgin Atlantic employees criticized the airline’s jet engine maintenance, complained about cockroaches on planes, and referred to passengers as “chavs.” This led to the firing of 13 cabin crew. The airline’s statement included:

Virgin Atlantic can confirm that 13 members of its cabin crew will be leaving the company after breaking staff policies due to totally inappropriate behaviour.
[...]
Following a thorough investigation, it was found that all 13 staff participated in a discussion on the networking site Facebook, which brought the company into disrepute and insulted some of our passengers.

What are “chavs,” the non-British readers may ask?

Chav, or Charv/Charva, is a mainly derogatory slang term in the United Kingdom for a person whose lifestyle, branded casual clothing (especially if counterfeit), speech and/or mannerisms are perceived to be common, proletarian and vulgar. ‘Chav’ is often used as a stereotype to refer to white, poorly educated, aggressive youths, but youth and aggression are not the defining attributes of a ‘chav’. The term is similar to America’s ‘white trash’ stereotype.

Not to be left out, British Airways ground staff at Gatwick were also found to be using the same term to describe their passengers on Facebook. Added bonus: “They also have little time for celebrity passengers and their ire is also drawn by ’stupid American accents.’” Delightful!

Complaining about customers is the great pastime of thousands of workers. Witness websites like NotAlwaysRight.com. But participants in those sites tend to be more careful — no names are named. By doing this on Facebook, Virgin and BA employees were sticking their necks out there.

These are not exactly positive model employees, clearly. Having said that, is criticizing the company a firing offense? The cabin crew may have been perfectly pleasant with their passengers, while they seethed quietly inside. So should the company have fired them for something they did in their free time?

The question goes to you: Did the company go too far in firing these crewmembers for the comments they made online? Or does the employee’s obligation to maintain decorum extend to the online space?

Hit the comments!

Southwest’s new seating plan
The experiments are over, and the San Antonio model has won out. Starting in November, the new system will be nationwide. Each boarding pass will have a letter (A, B, or C) and a number within that boarding group. Board in the order you checked in. The airline’s promo video (Windows Media) is here. Their “boarding school” is in session here. Bottom line: You won’t need to save your place in line within the A-group by putting your carry-on luggage into the corral. I guess that’s an improvement. But you’ll need to be even quicker to check in if you want your pick of the litter. Remember, check-in opens 24 hours before the flight. Do it online. See here for a list of services that provide automated web check-in. (Their business models might be slightly in flux now.)

Virgin Atlantic adds more premium seats
Virgin Atlantic must be selling its business class and premium economy seats pretty briskly. The airline is tearing out a quarter of its coach seats on Heathrow-based 747s and replacing them with the more spacious (and higher-yielding) premium seats.

Why can’t you use a foreign credit card on US booking sites?
Chris Elliott tackles this common complaint: You might get a better fare on a particular itinerary by booking via a website or agency outside your home country, but you can’t buy it, because the seller won’t accept your home country’s credit card. Why not? The travel companies are trying to slice and dice the market, so they can have greater control of fares, while minimizing the chance of fraud. Not every country has this problem. (I’ve used a Singaporean website or two to book US travel with my US card.) If you’ve ever been flummoxed by this, go read the whole post.

US Airways increases the cost of upgrades, but makes more fares upgradeable
Mileage upgrades on US Airways are more expensive, with each Lower-48/Canada/Alaska upgrade costing 15,000 instead of 10,000 miles as of October 3. On the flip side, they’re opening up ALL their domestic fares for upgradeability, so it’s no longer just the most expensive tickets that are eligible. That’s a plus. Similarly, on international flights, you’ll be able to use miles to upgrade any flight that cost you $600 or more each way. By my reading of the new rules, that $600 number includes taxes and fees. (via WebFlyer)

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Upgraded: More trans-Atlantic business class
Richard Branson’s Virgin Atlantic is planning to launch all-business class flights across the Atlantic. They’re joining the fray with Maxjet, Eos, Silverjet, L’Avion, not to mention British Airways, Lufthansa, KLM, and Swiss, which each fly (or plan to fly) all-biz flights on particularly lucrative routes. Virgin’s plan involves a wholly new airline, not just flights within the regular schedule. But with all these new business class seats coming online, can business class price-slashing be far off? Supply and demand, after all…

Downgraded: Thai Airways miles
Yet another frequent flyer mileage program loses its value. Star Alliance founding member Thai Airways is hiking the number of miles necessary for award seats. Gary Leff has more.

Upgraded: Competition, luggage allowances
This is something we don’t see in the United States: In an effort to compete with its competitors on service and not just on price, SriLankan Airlines is raising the luggage allowance for flights out of Qatar. Admittedly, that’s a niche market, and they’re not raising the allowance across the board for all flights in the system. But it’s still interesting to see someone trying to differentiate their product, and not just compete on price.

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Reader Jeanette writes:

I am traveling to Europe this summer (June 2007) and I wish to travel in comfort without a great expense. I read that British Airways has a something between economy and business. How do I know which airlines have comfortably wide seats and room for long legs?

If you’re interested in wider seats, extra legroom, better recline, and potentially better food and drink on your trip to Europe, you might consider looking for so-called premium economy sections. They’re offered by British Airways (they call it “World Traveller Plus”), Virgin Atlantic, and SAS (”Economy Extra”).

Separately, bmi and United offer a section of the cabin with extra legroom, but no wider seats. Bmi offers improved catering in their version of premium economy, while United doesn’t. Zoom, a discount airline that recently started a New York-London route, also has an improved legroom offering to consider.

Premium economy is never as nice as the business class cabin — especially if a lie-flat sleeper seat is an option — but it’s nicer than regular coach. About an inch more width, 6 inches more legroom or so.

But don’t expect this to be a cheap ticket. I checked arbitrary dates in June for BA flights from Chicago to London, and found the lowest one-way base fare $466 in economy, $816 in premium economy. Still less than BA’s business class, but at that price, consider flying one of the all-business class airlines like Maxjet, Silverjet, or L’Avion.

The challenge is actually finding and booking these tickets. Since the major online travel agencies don’t sell premium economy (they sell only economy, business, and first) you’ll have to check fares at each airline’s own website. Even then, they don’t always make it easy. If you can’t find the premium economy option online, you may need to pick up the phone.

Alternatively, take your chances and ask for an upgrade from regular economy to premium economy at check-in. No guarantee, of course. You’ll likely pay for the privilege, but it could cost less than pre-reserving a seat. (See here for info on paid upgrades.)

Related:
- Virgin Atlantic (aff)

Airlines have long edited films for consumption aboard their aircraft (though they’re starting to show more movies uncut). But British Airways takes the cake in their latest editorial slice-and-dice of a movie: They’ve taken the latest James Bond film, Casino Royale, and edited it. Not to cut down the violence, but to delete a cameo by Richard Branson.

Why? Because Branson runs Virgin Atlantic, their competitor.

That’s amazingly petty. Poor sportsmanship. And just plain pathetic.

Branson does a brief cameo as a passenger who’s given the once-over by airport security. (A still from the film is above.) He requested the walk-on after providing the filmmakers a plane to use as a prop. In lieu of monetary compensation for the aircraft rental, he got to be in the picture. It’s good to be the king.

So if you’re flying on British Airways, and you’d like the full version of the (excellent) Casino Royale, you’ll have to buy the DVD(aff) and bring along the electronics.

(Separately, if you’ve never seen the original version(aff) of Casino Royale, which stars Peter Sellers, David Niven, and Woody Allen, you should. Each actor stars as James Bond — though technically Woody Allen’s character goes by “Jimmy Bond.” It’s a bizarre, trippy 1967 spoof of the spy movie franchise. Plus, the Henry Mancini soundtrack is fab.)

(Thanks to reader R.Y.!)

It’s not just belligerent passengers who made headlines in the last week — and there were several of those, each impressive in their own awful way.

Passengers urinating on each other, drunkenly assaulting pilots, and smoking in the lavatory before letting their fists fly.

But pilots are getting in on the action too, with stories and behavior fit for the Jerry Springer Show.

To wit:

• An American Airlines pilot was acquitted of charges of attempting to fly a plane while drunk. A British jury believed his defense: sleepdrinking.
• A Virgin Atlantic pilot was similarly let off the hook, after accusations of drunken aviation, though the culprit in his case was his diet. His body was producing high levels of acetone, which was mistaken for alcohol. (Anyone know which diet produces sniffable levels of acetone?!)
• Finally, a Northwest pilot was removed from duty after swearing repeatedly, first on his cellphone, and then later at passengers, dropping F-bombs left and right. Adding insult to injury, the flight from Las Vegas to Detroit was canceled, leaving 180 people looking for alternate flights or last-minute (and unwanted) overnight lodging.

Perhaps the last pilot was upset at the recent FCC ruling that keeps cellphones turned off on planes?

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Passengers miss flight because a Northwest crew wanted donuts
Since when do pilots call the shots on the ground, too? A flight crew convinced a hotel shuttle bus driver to go for donuts instead of heading to the airport, causing other van riders to miss their flight. Full story via Chris Elliott.

Wisconsin Dells loses its Wonder Spot
Ah, the Dells… The klassic kitschy Chicagoland weekend getaway. It has now lost one of its treasures, the gravity-defying Wonder Spot. While Tommy Bartlett’s Thrill Show remains, the Wonder Spot will be missed.

My bag is happy to see you
A “vibrating bag” was discovered unattended at Chicago O’Hare. (It contained a sleep apnea machine, so wipe that smirk off your face!)

I came for the transportation, I stayed for the haircut
Virgin Atlantic hires more in-flight beauty therapists.

Love at first sting
Two separate flights, two separate incidents of scorpions stinging people on a plane. Flight one: Chicago to Burlington, Vermont. Flight two, Miami to Toronto. Forget Samuel L. Jackson. Bring me Klaus Meine!

Singapore Airlines’ new business class… reviewed!
Remember Singapore Airlines’ major upgrade to its business and first class cabins on selected routes? The Global Traveller has sat in the business class seat, and offers his review. Live vicariously.

Charlie Trotter and United Airlines reunited and it feels so good
This is where the cost savings from eliminating pretzels in coach must have gone. United Airlines is jazzing up the food in business and first class. They’re bringing back uber-chef Charlie Trotter, whom they ditched after 9/11. Bet you a bag of savory snack mix that it’ll still taste like airline food… (Thanks to Mark L.!)

Oasis coming to Oakland
Oasis, the Hong Kong based discount airline, famous for it’s $128 tickets to London, is coming to the United States. They’ll start flights from Hong Kong to Oakland in June, with 4x weekly service to start, moving up to daily service in August. No word yet on the fare.

Avoid the TSA by shipping yourself in a crate?
This isn’t living the first class life, but it’s first class by shipping container standards: The Travelbox, a crate designed for shipping a person. Bonus: It has its own running water supply.

Enterprise Rent-a-Car adds hybrid SUVs in California
Enterprise will rent you one of 160 Saturn VUE Green Line SUVs in the Bay Area, LA, or Sacramento. Yes, only California. What, no other parts of the country care about fuel consumption? Hybrids: good. Hybrid CARS, and not just SUVs, would be even better… It’s a start.

American Airlines spurns Expedia
If you’re looking for American Airlines’ international fares or premium cabin fares on Expedia, you’re out of luck. The airline is apparently having a little spat with the online agency, and yanked its fares from the site. We’ll see how long that lasts…

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A couple readers grumbled via e-mail that yesterday’s post about Singapore Airlines’ improvements to business and first class cabins glossed over the improvements to coach, which most people will actually be flying. In my defense, I was at least discussing scheduled, commercial travel, and not the mega-bling of private jumbo-jets, as was on the front business page of the New York Times yesterday.

So allow me, as a Man of the People, to give economy class its due.

No doubt, Singapore’s economy-class seat is a big step up from the average aircraft seat. In-seat power. A 10.6 inch video screen with on-demand video, computer games, and access to Sun Microsystems’ StarOffice suite. (Bring a USB key, I guess.) Seats are redesigned to offer more room at the knees without actually moving the seats any further apart (32 inches of pitch). Small footrests fold out from the seat in front of you.

I’m not quite sure about the reading lamp (I hope and assume that the overhead lamp remains an option). And the option of a word processor at every seat doesn’t seem like it would be too necessary, if you have in-seat power for a laptop.

Cathay Pacific’s new economy seat appears on its surface to have less sexy features than the Singapore counterpart, but it has the potential to be more comfortable. The seat has a few interesting redesigns, including a hard-shell seatback which prevents the passenger in front of you from leaning back into you. Recline stays within the shell, much like a business class pod. The Cathay literature describes features like active back support. An odd feature: The seatback pocket is moved to the seat itself, behind your calves. This has the potential to be odd or uncomfortable.

But while Singapore is limiting the new seats to their newly-purchased planes, Cathay Pacific is rolling this new seat out across the fleet. We’ll see who “wins.”

Finally, Virgin Atlantic is in the process of redesigning their coach seating. Don’t expect any announcements yet, but the design process and mockups of the seats under discussion are described in detail in this article from Fast Company.

Naturally, any of these improvements would be welcome in the U.S. market.

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