Downgraded: Michigan’s roads
Several counties in Michigan are opting to grind deteriorated paved roads into gravel roads rather than re-pave them. The money’s just not there. That’s progress!

Downgraded: U.S. treatment of international visitors
Because international travelers to the United States, who are already subjected to fingerprinting, photographing, and prying questions galore, apparently haven’t been treated sufficiently like criminals… Homeland Security is now launching a pilot test of fingerprinting visitors as they leave the country as well. Be treated like a criminal when you come in, be treated like a criminal when you leave. Just lovely. Foreigners departing from Atlanta or Detroit will have the pleasure.

Upgraded: Free wi-fi on Virgin America June 24
Google and Virgin America are teaming up to offer a day of free inflight wi-fi, online games, and other hijinx.

Downgraded: Extended Stay Hotels … and the Federal Reserve
Extended Stay Hotels, the parent of Extended Stay America, Crossland Studios, and Homestead Studio Suites, filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy. And who’s left holding the bag? The Federal Reserve!

Downgraded: United Mileage Plus
United Mileage Plus has been on a downward trajectory for some time, but Gary Leff pinpoints the absurdity of United’s blocking of frequent flyer tickets on partner airlines. The airline doesn’t want to make those tickets available because it costs them money when you use your miles on partners. But other Star Alliance airlines don’t block partners like this. It’s a United-specific problem, and it’s getting absurd. Gary writes: “In the last two days I’ve been told ‘Lufthansa doesn’t fly to Frankfurt’ and (looking for flights departing Hong Kong) ‘Thai Airways doesn’t fly to Bangkok that day.’” It’s insulting.

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Upgraded: Dumbass tourist complaints
The Daily Telegraph offers up some linkbait with its list of 20 dumb tourist complaints. (Warning: it’s a slideshow, so it takes 20 clicks to read them all. I know you try to sell advertising with higher pageviews, guys, but it’s annoying, and no one sees the ads if they just keep clicking through the slideshow…) My favorite complaint might be: “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”

Upgraded: Yapta
Fare-tracking site Yapta will now track hotel rates, too. Since you can generally cancel a hotel reservation and book a new one at the lower rate, this could come in handy.

Upgraded: Pilot-cam, from 1909
Who knew that there existed first-person motion picture footage from a Wright Brothers plane? Wilbur Wright is at the controls in this 1909 film. It’s an amazing piece of history (sorry, copyright prevents embedding the video here).

Golden Age, Golden Books: Travel back in time through the power of kids’ books
Children’s book protagonist Gordon experiences the magic of 1961 air travel: “Gordon ate steak and baked potatoes and lots of dessert — the things he liked best. ‘Food tastes good when you’re high in the sky,’ he said.” Cut to 2007, and little Gordon is a bitter man who can’t get an upgrade, but insists on calling the flight attendant “stewardess.” (Thanks, Brownlee!)

Sweet spot: Buy tickets in advance, but just not TOO far in advance
FareCompare.com CEO Rick Seaney busts a myth: That buying WAY far in advance is a great way to save money. Rarely true. Instead, the best time to really start shopping is about four months before your flight. One big reason: While most airlines sell tickets up to 11 months in advance, Southwest Airlines only sells tickets 4 to 5 months ahead. And since Southwest has enormous pricing power, their competitors don’t even bother trying to compete.

Your 15 minutes were over 20 minutes ago
Richard Branson never met a camera he didn’t love. Apparently neither did Kyla Ebbert, Southwest’s miniskirt bandit. Branson used Ebbert as a PR prop for Virgin America’s new service to Vegas. Classy. But hey, goofy photos result. Why is Branson dressed like a priest? Oh, screw it. It’s only egging him on.

Ryanair-style airline coming to transatlantic travel
Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary plans to start a discount airline that connects Europe and the U.S. It won’t be Ryanair, just a lot like it. Always the opportunist, O’Leary plans to wait until other airlines are in trouble, and then buy their aircraft on the cheap.

Skybus dropping West Coast?
Skybus looks like it might drop its flights to California and Washington, focusing instead on its shorter flights. Maybe that’s a good thing. Do you really want to deal with 29″ of seat pitch for a cross-country flight?

How to cut to the front of the security line
This isn’t advice I want to try out, knowing that the TSA has the habit of compiling dossiers on travelers. But Christopher Soghoian, of fake-boarding-pass generator fame, posts his tip on how to get to the front of the TSA line: Refuse to show ID. Instant supplemental screening (SSSS)! And to those wondering, yes, you can refuse to show ID and still legally fly. Print-and-save (pdf).

Your hard drive is a weapon
Since when are external hard drives a threat to security? Sigh.

Great, right? Well… there’s a catch. Skype is on the list of planned features. Hell is your seatmate shouting, “Guess where I am! No, guess! I’m on a plane!” Screaming madmen yelling at jilted lovers in faraway places could soon be sitting right next to you, laptops open, vocal cords ablaze. Bring the earplugs!

Upgraded: Singapore Airlines reveals its surprisingly spacious A380 layout
The Airbus A380, when packed to the gills with nothing but economy seats, could carry as many as 853 people. The normal three-class provision is estimated at 555 seats. But Singapore’s layout will only feature 471 seats, thanks largely to a boatload of extra-wide business class seats, much like the ones pictured here. To get a glimpse of the seatmap, Click here. Note that the economy class seats on the lower level are configured 3-4-3 and the upper level has them at 2-4-2.

Upgraded: The UK’s Travelodge
Downgraded: Home
An elderly British couple has been living in a Travelodge motel room for over twenty years. Talk about extended stay! Travelodge in the UK is not the same company as in the US. I’ve never stayed in the UK variant, but for their sake, I hope it’s better than the stateside chain. (via BoingBoing)

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Upgraded: Airbus A380 delivery dates
Singapore Airlines, the first airline to take delivery of its Airbus A380 mega-jumbo, is officially taking delivery of the plane on October 15, 2007. The first flight, from Singapore to Sydney, is scheduled for October 25.

Downgraded: The real Virgin America story
Virgin America knows how to play the PR game. No news there. But when the chips are down, they still need to figure out their schedule and customer service. But hey, the entertainment is decent. Mark Johnson of Jaunted flew a PR-free flight with Virgin America last week, and has the full report.

Downgraded: Charlotte security
Upgraded: Charlotte’s ability to bounce back
Charlotte Airport TSA agents let someone through security without screening. Flights delayed, passengers inconvenienced, etc., etc. But one thing I can tell you: The delays weren’t long-lasting. Later that same day, I caught a flight from Charlotte to LaGuardia, and it was all fine.

Downgraded: Hotel bathroom amenities
The China recalls keep rolling in. And now, hotel amenities are due for the seemingly inevitable report of poison. Gilchrist and Soames toothpaste is conveniently flavored with antifreeze. (I’ve seen G&C products, but never their toothpaste. My loss.) Better check that bag or box of mini-soaps, shampoos, etc. that the frequent traveler inevitably has stashed in their home. Toss the ‘paste.

Downgraded: Bellsouth/AT&T
It’s hard to blog without an internet connection. The BellSouth idiots first mistakenly shut down our dial tone but kept the DSL running. We called for service. They came, turned on dial tone, and shut down the DSL. Thanks. Great. Not once — not once — has BellSouth (now merged and rebranded AT&T) gotten one thing right on this phone line on the first try.

But the fact that this is a local law, and not a federal one, is absurd. Will we now need a separate contract of carriage for every possible way station on our trips? I’m all for states taking the initiative when the federal government won’t act (think California emissions), but laws like this one or the Chicago bill just indicate how broken the system is, from top to bottom. Those “customer service plans” that the airlines have offered up as a self-regulation alternative haven’t done the job, and Congress hasn’t acted quickly enough to address the systemic problems — air traffic control as well as passenger rights. We’ll see if this lights a fire under the collective asses of our legislative branch.

How to make Amtrak fun again: Free booze!
Drunken passengers are happy passengers. So says Amtrak, which is offering $100 in free drink vouchers for long-haul sleeper car trips. Sponsored in part by “Night Train”?

Virgin America debuts tomorrow
Tomorrow is Virgin America’s first flight. Anyone out there flying them on day one? (or heck, week one?) Hit the comments and tell the tale!

As I write this, a quick search shows that their flights don’t yet seem to be loaded on all the major online booking sites. Too bad: I was about to suggest booking online with Hotwire or Priceline, since both are waiving booking fees for all airfare on all airlines for the rest of the summer. But VirginAmerica’s fares aren’t available yet on those sites. No luck on Expedia or Travelocity, either. So far, I’ve only found the fares on Orbitz. If it’s any consolation, some airlines, such as jetBlue, are matching some sale fares. (aff)

Update 11pm: Virgin America’s site is back up. Huzzah.

Simpsons marketing goes airborne
Remember the saucy chalk-outline advertisements targeting air travelers flying into London-Gatwick? The same tactic has been put to use as part of the marketing hullabaloo for the upcoming Simpsons movie, to some controversy, because the drawing of Homer is mocking the, erm, virile outline that was left in a British field centuries ago by pagans. As far as Simpsons marketing goes, I prefer the conversion of 7-Elevens to Kwik-E-Marts anyway.

Travel to avoid… if you can
Joe Brancatelli has a great set of tips in a recent Portfolio column. He offers a list of airports and airlines to avoid if you can, and the special circumstances for each. For example, avoid flying Northwest Airlines in the last ten days of each month. They don’t have enough crew members, and they run short at the end of every month, leading to cancellations. Other tips are equally astute. (What, no swipe at Chicago O’Hare? Too easy?) Go read the whole thing.

Short-haul awards are back on American Airlines
Good news: Tim Winship reports that American Airlines is bringing back its 15,000-mile economy roundtrip short-hop award for nonstop flights less than 750 miles (each way). That’s a 10,000 mile savings per ticket. Dates of eligible travel will be September 1, 2007 through February 29, 2008. See here for full details. Historically, this means that United will announce a similar deal within a week or so. Start your stopwatches, the countdown is on!

Upgraded: US Airways elite status for non-elites
Downgraded: Existing US Airways elite member satisfaction
US Airways is letting those without status buy their way into the rank and file of the elite frequent flyer set, giving them access to the upgrade waiting list and a few bonus miles. Whoo. If I were a US Airways elite, I’d be peeved at their “Try Preferred Status on for size” promotion. Much like Tim Winship argues, it’s hard enough getting an upgrade; now the airline is willing to sell your loyalty down the river to make a quick buck, thereby making it even harder to snag that wider seat with the marginally better service. Classy.

Upgraded: Virgin America
Slow-going upstart Virgin America got its approvals all lined up, and they’re officially legal to sell tickets and fly around the USA. But they’re not selling tickets yet. Their website still promises the moon. What’s the holdup? Jeez, people! August, they say.

Downgraded: Airport scales
Surprise, surprise. The scales at airports are often wrong. How often? 90% of scales were off in a Phoenix television station’s investigative report. Problems limited to Phoenix? Probably not. Try to make sure your scale is at zero when you put down your bags, but that won’t necessary avoid trouble. (Via Consumerist)

Upgraded: The little guy
Jane Waun rocks. She took Spirit Airlines to small claims court for the additional expenses she incurred after Spirit summarily canceled her flight and left her high and dry. They refunded her money for the ticket (eventually) but didn’t cover her additional costs. So she sued. And she won, in part because Spirit never showed up to fight it. 90% of success is showing up, or something like that, right?
(Update: I see Chris Elliott picked up on this, too. And he goes a step further, suggesting that everyone take every travel company to small claims court. Sue them every time, and hope they don’t show, in order to force them to change their practices. Nice idea, but small claims cases still take time! That’s probably why Spirit blew the case off in the first place. But if you have the time, go for it.)

Upgraded: Price transparency in the European Union
The EU Parliament has passed a set of rules mandating that airlines have to quote full prices, not just base fares. (Take that, easyJet!) The law needs approval from member states before taking effect, but this is pro-consumer. Let’s hope the member states pass it.

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Their time spent waiting to start flying has been a long one. I honestly didn’t think it would happen. But if you’re jonesing for an inflight service that promises to be swankier than the normal coach experience, you’ll be in luck later this summer.

The airline will be based in San Francisco, and promises to fly cross-country at prices that undercut the major airlines. Unlike the minimalist non-service of startups like Skybus, Virgin America promises to be a high-quality airline at discount prices. Sounds good to me!

Where will they fly?

Virgin America’s first flights will be between its home base of San Francisco (SFO) to New York (JFK). The airline also plans to serve Los Angeles (LAX), Washington/Dulles, San Diego and Las Vegas within its first year of operations.

The airline expects to serve as many as 10 cities within a year of operation and up to 30 cities within five years of service. Additional cities under Virgin America’s consideration include: Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Fort Lauderdale, Fort Myers, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Kansas City, Miami, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Nashville, Newark, New Orleans, Orlando, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Providence, Portland, Ore., Raleigh-Durham, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, San Antonio, San Jose, Calif., Sarasota, Seattle, St. Louis, Tampa and West Palm Beach.

Not exactly thinly-traveled routes with no competition. It’s going to be an uphill climb. Expect a battle royale from United and Southwest in the San Francisco area. CEO Fred Reid, who is forced to step down within six months, may be glad that he won’t be around to fight that fight.

In the meantime, join the fun by helping them name their planes. The folks at BoingBoing already named one: “Unicorn Chaser.” Alrighty then. (Was “Goatse” rejected?) I like Edward Demott’s suggested name: “Mach Daddy.”

That would be Fred Reid, whom you may remember from such video aircraft tours like this one.

Here’s the word from the DOT:

“We tentatively find that the applicant’s replacement of Mr. Reid as CEO and board member with a U.S. citizen who has no prior affiliation with the Virgin Group would substantially remedy our concerns over the independence of the applicant’s management from the Virgin Group,” DOT said.

As a condition of gaining approval, Virgin America must confirm Reid’s termination of employment within 90 days of the carrier’s obtaining its certificate, and any follow-on consulting work must end within 180 days of his removal.

Tough break for Fred, but I’m not worried about him. Something tells me he’s got a platinum parachute waiting for him.

There is also a dispute over the use of the Virgin name, and the payment of royalties to the British mothership. That could actually be a bigger snag, in the end, since the Virgin name is something the airline presumably wants.

Pass the popcorn, again.

Related:
- Virgin America is un-American
- Virgin America wants your vote, teases you with glimpses of their planes
- Update: Virgin Atlantic revises its ownership structure, potentially making it legal

Downgraded: Virgin America, Upgraded: Someone else
Poor Virgin America. They want to fly, really they do, but the US government won’t let them. But while the airline waits for a decision, they’ve been forced to lease out their spankin’ new planes to other airlines. It’s the equivalent of going downtown to the pawn shop and cashing in your newly bought plasma TV, just days after you showed it off to all your friends. But this means that other airlines are benefiting from Virgin’s misery. Word on the street says it’s Skybus, the startup airline that wants to rock Columbus, Ohio like a hurricane.

Downgraded: PIA
PIA, aka Pakistan International Airlines, will apparently be slapped by the European Union. The airline’s safety record is so spotty that only their seven newest planes will be allowed to land in the EU. Comforting.

Upgraded: Cruises, highbrow and low
Cruise lines are finally getting into the loyalty program game. I guess they wanted to wait 25 years to see if this whole frequent flyer miles thing was going to work out. Don’t plan to do any mileage runs on a cruise ship anytime soon. While the points don’t expire, they generally measure days at sea. On Silversea Cruises, for example, you need to cruise for 250 days before you can cash in for a free week on the high seas. Ouch.

At the other end of the spectrum, the NYT’s budget traveler, Matt Gross, spent some time on the EasyCruise ship, a hybrid of Ryanair, Carnival Cruises, and MTV’s “Real World.” He manages to express affection for the experience, despite being stuck on a ship with dozens of hard-partying kids looking to put the “easy” back into EasyCruise. Call me an old fart: A floating party hostel may be your speed, but it’s not mine anymore.

Downgraded: Paper tickets
Trees rejoice: Northwest Airlines is planning to eliminate paper tickets entirely. They won’t even be an option. Only 0.1% of their customers used them. The paper ticket is largely an anachronism today, but it still has its place, especially during irregular operations, when airlines can sign over a paper ticket to another carrier. Despite network integration, it’s still harder to do that for an e-ticket.

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Late yesterday, the airline announced a corporate restructuring, which, in their claims, reduces the whiff of excessive foreign ownership, the factor which previously grounded the company. Britain’s Virgin Group will hold 2 seats on the board, or no more than 25% of the votes. The list of changes to the corporate structure is outlined in a press release. (Now, why didn’t they do this stuff earlier, when it was obvious their application was going to be shot down??)

This will hopefully convince regulators that Virgin should open for business. I think it will work. And soon enough, you’ll be able to play Doom, chat “online” with people in row 25, watch satellite TV, or ponder who the genius is who decided white leather seats were a good idea on a commercial airplane.

Viva competition!

Related:
- Virgin America wants your vote, teases you with glimpses of their planes
- U.S. government says Virgin America is un-American