Downgraded: “Fakeproof” passports
I love stories like this: British authorities touted the safety and security of their “e-passport,” effectively a passport with an embedded radio-frequency chip. Hacker-proof, they claimed. It was cracked, cloned, and altered within minutes. Minutes. Not even hours, much less days, or weeks. Minutes. The computer researcher proved his point by changing the data to make the passport appear to be Osama bin Laden’s, complete with passport photo. Just awesome. (Recall that, as posted a couple years ago, the easiest way to destroy the chip inside your passport, if you’re wary of RFID scanners stealing your personal information, is with a hammer.)

Downgraded: American Airlines upgrades
A downgraded upgrade? Indeed. American recently rolled out copayment fees for many of its upgrade awards. See the changes on the award chart here. More evidence of the devaluation of miles, if you needed a reminder.

Upgraded: European booking war hilarity
Britain’s Thomson Holidays, part of the TUI Group, came under heat for offering vacation rentals in Greece or Turkey for £14 a week. At £2 a night, that’s some cheap sleeps. Why was this problematic? Competitors complained that Thomson was changing customer expectations, causing travelers to hold out and wait for the rock-bottom room rate, instead of booking early. Sounds like crybaby talk to me.

Upgraded: Alliance dalliance
It’s not really a surprise, given the urge to merge that’s rampant in aviation today, but American Airlines, British Airways, and Iberia are looking to link up. They’re already alliance partners within Oneworld, and this isn’t a merger (yet), but the three airlines are trying to get antitrust immunity, so they can collude and set fares together. There’s really no benefit to consumers in this, especially if you fly between London and the United States. AA and BA dominate those routes, and the companies want to expand their price-setting power.

Upgraded: Google Maps’ sense of humor
Remember how Google Maps gave directions from the U.S. to Europe which included the instruction to swim across the Atlantic? Those jokesters recently did it again, suggesting you kayak across the Pacific Ocean. (They took it down, alas.)

Upgraded: Your chance to speak your mind on aircraft interiors
Friend of the blog Addison Schonland is doing some market research on aircraft interiors, and what you want to see inside those aluminum tubes. Take his poll, which will hopefully filter through to airline designers and execs attending the Aircraft Interiors Expo show next month.

Upgraded: Stormy weather
Priceline is once again rolling out a cute promotion, which promises to pay the cost of your vacation package if your trip is rained out, through November 16, 2008. The “Sunshine Guarantee” kicks in if a half inch of measured rainfall is present on HALF of the days of your trip. That’s a lot of rain, so don’t count on any payout. Kerala monsoon holiday, anyone?

With everyone talking green these days, and with many environmental groups squarely putting the travel industry in its crosshairs, European mega-tourism conglomerate TUI has announced that it will use its size to make good on the green mandate. The tour company is putting pressure on hotel companies to make their operations more environmentally sound.

“In five years we want minimum standards in all our hotels,” said Dermot Blastland, managing director for TUI UK and Ireland, which carries 30 million passengers a year across Europe to 200 destinations. “We will not feature hotels that do not comply.” He said that he expects other companies to follow its lead, as customer demand drives the move to more sustainable travel.

No specifics on what those green standards actually are, and five years is a long time for companies to catch up.

I’m hoping that the standards include more than putting a card in the hotel room to tell you how to notify housekeeping whether or not you want your sheets washed or your towels changed.

But it’s a start, and if a 600-pound gorilla like TUI gives its standards teeth, then they’re very likely to gain global relevance.

Some may be crying hypocrisy, since TUI operates airplanes after all, which aren’t known for their carbon-neutrality. But it’s a smart business move, even if hoteliers may be crying environmental blackmail. A company that’s willing to step forward and make a move like this signals to consumers that they’re taking the environmental impact of travel a smidgen more seriously than their competitors, and that could tip the scales for some folks weighing vacation alternatives.

Note to airlines: This is how you get in front of bad PR. By taking a stand that improves the greater good, and demanding that others follow or get left behind, the company comes out looking like a knight in shining armor, even if it’s not really a selfless act. There’s got to be a way for airlines to spin their less-than-stellar environmental reputation — or their less-than-stellar passengers’ rights reputation, for that matter — in a way that benefits the masses and simultaneously makes the company look good.

The entire Tuscan village of Tenuta de Castelfalfi has been snapped up by Europe’s largest tour operator and will be transformed into an integrated holiday playground for German tourists within two years. [...] The exquisitely beautiful but rundown medieval settlement north of Siena, and close to Florence and Pisa, is soon to be renamed Toscana Resort Castelfalfi. [...] TUI says it wants to offer its guests the full rural experience, including locally produced fruit, vegetables and wines.

Sure, that sounds really authentic. And EPCOT Center’s German pavillion is a perfectly authentic recreation of German life, in its totality.

I can understand the tension that makes this sort of development possible. Many people want to experience a change of scenery, perhaps even with some notion of some “authentic” local flavor, but they aren’t willing to step outside of their comfort zone. But this is going too far.

The trend toward self-contained “safe” environments, homogenized for foreign consumption yet situated in an exotic location, isn’t a new one. Travelers to a resort compound in Jamaica, for instance, aren’t experiencing Jamaican culture, but are simply there for the beach and the weather.

In the most crass example, Secrets Resorts, created by the AMResorts division of Apple Vacations, are designed to completely recreate American bar and beach culture in Mexico and the Caribbean, while blocking out the local Mexican environment as much as possible.

“We Americanize it like no one else. The ketchup on the table is always Heinz. The mayonnaise is always Hellman’s. The yogurt is Dannon,” [Alex Zozaya, the head of the resorts,] said. “On the television, you’ll find ABC, NBC and CBS. [...] we focus on all the American sports all the time. If there’s an important European soccer match at the same time as a hockey game, our televisions will be tuned to the hockey game. We even have tailgate parties where guests can watch football on giant screens, barefoot in the sand, eating chicken wings and drinking Coronas.”

At least they serve Corona!

So you have two extremes: A sterilized “authentic” museum city in Tuscany — except that it’s entirely in German, and a recreated America-land in a sunny climate with no sense of place.

Travel, by its very definition, means an interaction, or a collision, of cultures. Hoping to experience a “pure,” unadulterated place, or trying to avoid any trace of the local flavor, is equally desperate and sad.

Perhaps the futility of the quest for authenticity is best demonstrated by Monty Python:

(Thanks to Tim Hughes!)

Around the world, the issue of fuel surcharges has been getting a bit of press, and increasingly, its day in court.

In New Zealand, Qantas got nailed with a fine for false advertising, thanks to 122 convictions of “not disclosing the full cost of a fare, or imposing extra charges such as a fuel surcharge which should have been included in the price.” Air New Zealand was already convicted of similar charges months ago.

In Germany, on the other hand, consumer protection groups lost a battle. The discount airline Hapagfly (part of the TUI travel conglomerate) was found not guilty of charges fundamentally similar to the Qantas case in New Zealand. (Link is in German… keepin’ it local!) That decision contradicts another German court’s ruling against the carrier LTU which was found guilty of false advertising by virtue of excessively small print in newspaper advertisements. The Hapagfly case is going to a higher court.

Here’s hoping the tide is turning in favor of more accurate and transparent pricing.