Downgraded: TSA
Upgraded: Airports with independence
Near Glacier National Park, in Kalispell, Montana, Glacier Park International Airport is hoping to boot the TSA off its property and replace the government security agency with private contractors. What?? I had no idea this was possible, but sure enough: Under the Screening Partnership Program, an airport can apply to reprivatize security, generally if TSA isn’t meeting the airport’s needs. The issue for Glacier was staffing: The TSA calculated staffing levels based on October traffic levels — when August is the peak travel time for the area. About 15 airports, including several in Montana, have opted out of the TSA’s domain.

Upgraded: Efforts to keep convention business. ANY convention business
Hotels need business. So, is there any problem with hosting a convention of swingers as a Holiday Inn in upstate New York did? The annual spouse-swapping event, “Entice the Falls” (link not entirely safe for work), featured some exciting events like “Flogging 101″ and a (canceled) body painting party. But how many bonus points do you earn for a weekend of debauchery?

Downgraded: Chrysler at the rental counter
The Dollar Thrifty Automotive Group is slashing its purchases of Chrysler vehicles. Their fleet is currently 76% Chrysler, but Ford will nearly tie Chrysler for new purchases (34 and 30%, respectively).

Upgraded: Luxury in Mecca
Downgraded: Raffles Hotels’ management’s common sense
Islamic pilgrims to Mecca who aren’t feeling particularly pious, but who are looking to live large, may be pleased to hear that Singapore’s Raffles Hotels are planning an enormous luxury hotel that will cast a shadow on the Muslim world’s holiest site. But what on earth is the hotel chain thinking? I’m sure some will find the uber-luxurious hotel an affront to the religious meaning of the site; are they painting a giant target on all the hotels in the Raffles brand?

Upgraded: Recliners!
The dip in travel has been a boon for furniture makers. What? Yes, according to the industry, sales of reclining chairs are up, as Americans travel less, stay home more, and look for greater comfort in their living room.

Upgraded: Spotlights on mileage running
I’ve been known to go on a mileage run or two (though not for a few years now) in order to bump up my elite-qualifying miles to the next tier, but I’m nowhere near the big leagues that these guys play in. Check out this 20-minute documentary on mileage runners, and the OCD spirit that drives them to collect miles and points with a singleminded focus:

Joe Sharkey reminds us that the Secure Flight program requires travelers to, from, or within the United States to ensure that the spelling of their name on their passport or government-issued identification must match precisely the spelling of their name on their boarding passes.

So if you use your driver’s license and it says John T. Smith, your ticket must also say John T. Smith — not John Thomas Smith, not Jack Smith, or any other name variant.

Let’s put aside for a moment the counterargument that names and identity do not, in and of themselves, create a security risk for anyone. Unless you start flicking driver’s licenses at passengers like Chinese stars…

Yes, in case you forgot, the terrorists won. Big time. But I digress.

The reality of travel in this great land is that your ID has to match your boarding pass. And you’ll have to give them your gender and date of birth, too, to distinguish you from similarly-named people who might be on a no-fly list.

And that means you’ll want (well, need) to update your customer profiles with the companies with whom you book flights.

Though the program is already implemented, the timeline for mandating 100% compliance isn’t clear:

TSA has built some flexibility into the processes regarding passenger name accuracy. For the near future, small differences between the passenger’s ID and the passenger’s reservation information, such as the use of a middle initial instead of a full middle name or no middle name/initial at all, should not cause a problem for the passenger. Over time, passengers should strive to obtain consistency between the name on their ID and their travel information.

The ease of actually changing your profile varies by company. American Airlines makes it easy to add/change your middle name/initial for Secure Flight compliance on their website. United requires that you e-mail them. Orbitz reprimands me to “re-enter a unique name and date of birth for each traveler,” but their site doesn’t actually include a field to actually enter a date of birth anywhere.

And don’t forget that your passport may not list your name the same way as your driver’s license or other government-issued ID. Be sure the ticket matches the identification you actually carry for a given trip.

I’ve made the changes with some, but not all, of the companies I book with, whether airlines or agencies. If I’ve been able to do it online, I’ve done it. Luckily, my passport and driver’s license both list my full name, including my complete middle name

So, have you updated your profiles? Or have you considered having an ID reissued to make sure it’s consistent with other identification? Hit the comments!

Full credit to Randall Munroe at xkcd.com.

It didn’t make it into Gadling’s top-ten list of items not to attempt to carry through a TSA checkpoint, but Matt Daimler, founder of the invaluable SeatGuru.com, sent in this photo he snapped at LaGuardia Airport security:

That’s right, don’t bring a snowglobe in your carry-on this holiday season. Bah humbug and all that.

And remember, when TSA collects all those dangerous bottles of spring water, hair gel, and mouthwash — and snowglobes — they just throw it all into a big barrel that’s disposed of as trash. It’s not treated as a dangerous stew of explosives, to be handled with the kidgloves of a well-trained bomb squad. Because it’s not.

Downgraded: Irony
Every time you try to make a cynical or snide remark about the state of the airline industry, griping about how unpleasant it’s become, Ryanair meets or beats that cynicism. The airline now wants to ban checked luggage entirely. Seriously. They claim — and I say “claim” because I’ll believe it when I see it — that they’ll be implementing this by 2010, the same deadline for offering inflight gambling and pay toilets. Are they that desperate for attention that they need to keep floating these increasingly annoying ideas?

Upgraded: Republic Airlines
Downgraded, eventually: Midwest Signature Service
Republic, best known for providing regional jet services to a range of carriers, has bought Midwest and Frontier Airlines. In the case of Midwest, they’re getting rid of the Boeing 717s and replacing them with Embraer 190s. That’s a narrower tube. Translation: Expect cuts or elimination of Signature Service seats at the front of the plane.

Upgraded: Holding TSA accountable
Remember the traveler who was harassed by the TSA for carrying $4700 in cash? He refused to answer questions until the TSA agents explicitly told him he was required to respond, and caught it all on tape. Now he’s suing the TSA, with help from the ACLU.

Upgraded: Continental miles
Well, not upgraded much, but here’s a quick way to earn 100 miles for “learning about” Continental-branded credit cards.

Downgraded: Boeing
Not only is the Boeing 787 Dreamliner delayed again, but some significant redesigning is necessary in order to get it airworthy. That’s bad news for the company’s management (or shareholders), or the airlines that have to wait even longer to receive their orders. As a passenger, I’d rather have a safe plane start flying late than an unsafe plane on time. Nonetheless, some are accusing Boeing of a coverup.

Downgraded: SkyEurope
SkyEurope, the Bratislava-based discount airline perhaps most famous for paying you to fly them, has declared bankruptcy. They’re still flying while they restructure.

Upgraded: Flight tracking
Visually cool, though not completely practical: Lufthansa has commissioned a neat representation of their flight traffic. Watch a fancy demo below. Be warned, the sound has some crazy-high-pitched sounds, which detract from the experience.

(Update: The designers deleted the video. No idea why. I’ll leave the embed up in case they bring it back. In the interim, have a still/screenshot instead.)

(via Dvice)

Downgraded: The image of the pilot
The recent hearings surrounding the Colgan Air crash in Buffalo have focused on lack of training and cross-country commutes. But they have also brought attention to the low pay that starting pilots receive at the commuter airlines. Salaries for first officers at regional airlines can be terrible: $25,000 a year for starters, and only $33,000 on average after three years. See also this graphic, listing the average salaries by category.

Upgraded, but not quite enough: Kayak’s search engine
A month ago, I reviewed the airfare aggregators or metasearch sites. I gave TripAdvisor’s new engine the win, largely because of its ability to estimate ancillary fees like luggage fees. Now, Kayak is adding a baggage fee estimator as well, as pictured below. But it’s not quite to the level of TripAdvisor’s engine, which takes into account factors like elite status, and allows for a more granular approach to fees than simply asking about number of bags.

Downgraded: Nicknames and Abbreviations
TSA is rolling out the first phase of its “Secure Flight” policy, which means your plane tickets will have to match your identification more precisely than in the past. “During this phase of the Secure Flight program, passengers are encouraged to book their reservations using their name as it appears on the government-issued ID they will use while traveling.” And that means that, at some point (though not today), you won’t be able to use a middle initial on your ticket if your ID uses your full middle name. Which will piss off thousands of passengers while doing absolutely nothing for security. Asinine.

Downgraded: Hotel searches for Columbus, Georgia
If you’re staying in the town of Columbus, Georgia, you won’t find much in the way of hotels if you search the major online travel agencies. Why the boycott? Expedia was ordered to pay occupancy taxes to the city on the basis of the displayed room rate (the one paid by customers booking on the site). Previously, they had been paying the occupancy tax on the basis of the wholesale rates which they had negotiated with the hotel. So, now the major sites are simply not listing hotels in Columbus, GA at all. I’m no lawyer, but I can see the agencies’ point here: It makes sense to me that local taxes should be based on the rate paid locally — in this case, at the wholesale rate. I’m sure Columbus hoteliers are thrilled…

Downgraded: InterContinental brands
InterContinental is downgrading their properties’ service requirements. Gary Leff has the rundown, which, depending on the brand in question, includes delaying the purchase of new beds, cutting restaurant hours, cotton towels, and overnight front desk service.

This is the kind of stuff that drives me absolutely bonkers: A passenger departing St. Louis was detained and harassed by the TSA because he was carrying $4700 in cash. When questioned, the gentleman opted to secretly tape the conversation using his phone, and whattayaknow, it’s on the internet.

It’s not a crime to carry cash. (Though it’s not the way I like to travel, frankly.) What I simply don’t understand is why the TSA would care about this man’s means of transporting money in the first place. The DEA? I might expect them to wonder about large sums of cash, but $4700 is small enough to not even raise an eyebrow for them, either.

The TSA is supposed to be about travel safety and security. Why would they care about cash? Think about it: A guy carrying $4700 is not going to blow up a plane — if he’s got that much money with him, he wants to make it safely!

The tape of Steve Bierfeldt’s interrogation at the hands of the TSA is part of a longer discussion, but the video below is bookmarked to the start of the raw tape. Listen for yourself.

Good news for travelers who share a name with someone on the no-fly list. The U.S. House of Representatives has passed a bill to provide better redress for passengers who mistakenly end up on one of the several terrorist watch lists.

The bill requires Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano to establish a “timely and fair” appeal process and provide relief for those wrongly delayed or prevented from boarding a flight.
[...]
The bill would also spur the creation of an Office of Appeals and Redress to create a “comprehensive cleared list” of people who’ve been inappropriately added to watch lists or government databases.

The bill passed 413-3. (The three “no” votes: Representatives Broun (GA), Poe (TX), and Westmoreland (GA), all Republicans.) It still needs to go through the Senate, and on to President Obama’s desk. But thankfully, this signals that some changes to the security theater apparatus may actually be afoot.

—

Separately, a federal appeals court has ruled that the TSA has been collecting too much in fees, and has ordered the agencies to “recalculate the amount of fees it charges air carriers for passenger and baggage screening, a development that the airlines say could save them hundreds of millions of dollars.” Just don’t expect those savings to be passed on to you, the traveler…

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You’re looking at a $240,000 shirt. At least that’s what it cost the TSA and JetBlue. The shirt’s owner (and wearer), Iraqi-American Raed Jarrar, received a sizable settlement from the government and the airline last month.

Why the payment? Long-time readers may remember this case from an earlier post:

JetBlue and a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) official, identified as “Inspector Harris,” would not let Raed Jarrar board his flight at John F. Kennedy Airport until he agreed to cover his t-shirt, which read “We Will Not Be Silent” in English and Arabic script. Harris told Jarrar that it is impermissible to wear an Arabic shirt to an airport and equated it to a “person wearing a t-shirt at a bank stating, ‘I am a robber.’”

Lovely metaphor. Added bonus: Jarrar says that, after he relented and donned an additional shirt, jetBlue tore up his boarding pass, which had him seated near the front, and gave him a new boarding pass to sit at the very back of the plane. How nice of them — and how symbolic.

The airline and the TSA admitted no wrongdoing, though they agreed to the payment:

Neither the Transportation Safety Administration officials or JetBlue admitted having done anything wrong, and the settlement agreement states that it “is not an admission of liability or fault or wrongdoing or responsibility.”

The agreement says that the government employees, Garfield Harris and Franco Trotta, “disavow any allegation” that they had violated Mr. Jarrar’s rights, and said that “their actions were at all times reasonable and within their discretion and authority.”

Bryan Baldwin, a spokesman for the airline, said the company was “pleased” with the settlement, although it denied Mr. Jarrar’s version of events. The company settled, Mr. Baldwin said, “to stop incurring future legal cost.”

Not admitting responsibility? Fine. But money talks. And hopefully both the government and the airlines (not just JetBlue) will wise up from this experience, and can teach their employees that shirts aren’t dangerous, regardless of whether or not you understand what’s written on them.

Related:
- Dangerous shirts see their day in court
- Would an anti-Tony Blair shirt get me in trouble in the U.S.?
- Short hops – August 23, 2006 – JetBlue rewards one flyer a free t-shirt (in exchange for his civil liberties)

Longtime readers of this blog know that I consider our nation’s airport current security apparatus to be an exercise in theatric futility. A tale of public safety, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Sure, some pieces of the puzzle are sensible, but others (ID checks, the war on hydration, and no-fly lists, for starters) are 99.99999% a waste of time and money.

That said, I’m not going to go to the security line and be a jackass. I don’t grumble, I don’t whine, I just take off my shoes and walk on through. No, I’m no freedom rider, but I know the rules, and yes, I *am* willing to fight for my rights if someone gives me a hard time, but I’m not going in with a bad attitude.

So perhaps it’s no surprise that I don’t have the stones to do what this guy did. He created fake boarding passes, wore pro-al Qaeda t-shirts, packed Hezbollah flags, and wore a Beer Belly full of Bud Light through the checkpoint.

I know he’s a provocateur, poking his fingers into the eyes of authority, over and over again, and I know he’s doing it for a story. But it’s a fun read. And at the end of the day, it reinforces both the moronic construct of our national quest for airport security, and it shows how many gaps in that system there are.

Read the whole thing.

Related:
- Forged boarding passes: Fraud, yes, but where is the security threat?
- Your laptop is a suitcase: How the U.S. government is searching computers, phones, and other electronics at the border
- More than a patdown: TSA wants to read your mind

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