Downgraded: Amex Platinum benefits
As readers have reminded me: Starting September 2011, American Express Platinum cards will no longer give you free access to Continental President’s Club airport lounges. (I thought I had blogged about this in the past, but a quick search proves that memory was fuzzy: I hadn’t actually posted about it, just written about it briefly in the comments to a post about American Airlines Admirals Clubs launching free drinks domestically.) With Continental cutting access to Amex members, I assume this means that United won’t be scrambling to join up, either…

Downgraded: Air marshals from first class
It’s historically been easy to spot the air marshal onboard a flight: The guy with the short hair in an aisle seat in the last row of first class. Maybe not much longer. “Airlines are asking the Federal Air Marshals Service to relax its policy of often seating undercover agents in first class because they say it has become a costly disruption that isn’t justified by current security threats.” Looks like your upgrade chances might improve!

Upgraded: The love of flying
Some people love flying. Really, really love it. Love it enough to build their own airplane in their backyard, even though they never had aerospace engineering training. While I fear for the test flight, I admire this gentleman’s moxie and truly wish him the best of luck.

A fellow named Paul Chambers was frustrated with the heavy snows that closed Doncaster Sheffield Robin Hood Airport (great name). He was getting concerned that the delays would ground his own flight one week later. So he hit Twitter with the following comment:

Crap! Robin Hood airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your shit together otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!

Dumb? Misguided? Foolish? Clueless? Self-indulgent? All of the above?

No matter what you call it, the British police found it less than charming, and paid Mr. Chambers a visit. He was arrested for making a bomb threat. They confiscated his laptop, phone, and desktop hard drive. And now, he’s been convicted for the lesser (but still serious) charge of section 127 of the Communications Act 2003, for sending an “indecent, obscene or menacing” message. He was not only convicted, harming his career as an accounting, but he had to pay a £385 fine, a £15 “victims’ surcharge,” and another £600 in legal fees. Ouch.

A judge argued that the comment was “of a menacing nature in the context of the times in which we live.” But now, Twitter is full of further menacing messages tagged #twitterjoketrial as a show of solidarity and protest.

I feel bad for the guy. Yes, he was being stupid, “in the context of the times in which we live,” but he wasn’t really threatening anyone. Now, having joked about blowing up an airport, he’s not only a convicted criminal, he’s probably on the no-fly list.

So, is an unfunny joke on Twitter grounds for trial? Is a lame expression of frustration reason for the security apparatus to crack down? Hit the comments!

An act of terrorism, caught on film.

Upgraded: Hostels
The NYT has a piece on European hostels, and how they’ve improved over the years, reaching out to travelers who want more privacy (e.g., a double room instead of a bunk in a dormitory) and more luxury (if an ensuite bathroom is your idea of luxury… my bar is a tad higher). Remember, though, that no matter what the appointments are and the increase in private rooms, hostels are designed to bring people together. A (good) night’s rest may be coincidental to the social mission, so if you’re not feeling social, hostels are not for you. Maybe I’m a cranky old fart, but I prefer to choose the moments when I want to be social. Subsequently, hostels are not my cup of tea.

Downgraded: Offshore outsourcing
Airline call centers have famously been outsourced to offshore call centers, but as passenger numbers (and call volume) shrink, the size of the call center operation has shrunk alongside. Delta has now announced that they will no longer send calls to India, where they’ve been routing calls since 2002. Delta will also reduce call center operations in South Africa and Jamaica. Like most people, I’ve dealt with international call centers, but my complaint hasn’t ever been about understanding the person on the other end of the line. Acoustically, I could understand them. But on more than one occasion, they couldn’t understand what I wanted to do, or they were unable to perform any but the simplest reservation tasks. I often wondered if these outsourced call centers were costing the company more money (in disgruntled customers) than they saved in salaries and benefits. It took a while, but perhaps that equation has finally tilted back toward better-trained in-house employees. (Via FlightWisdom)

Upgraded: Hotel deals in Tampa
The sharpest hotel rate declines in the US? They’re in Tampa, with a 31% decrease, year-over-year, according to Hotwire.

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Good news for travelers who share a name with someone on the no-fly list. The U.S. House of Representatives has passed a bill to provide better redress for passengers who mistakenly end up on one of the several terrorist watch lists.

The bill requires Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano to establish a “timely and fair” appeal process and provide relief for those wrongly delayed or prevented from boarding a flight.
[...]
The bill would also spur the creation of an Office of Appeals and Redress to create a “comprehensive cleared list” of people who’ve been inappropriately added to watch lists or government databases.

The bill passed 413-3. (The three “no” votes: Representatives Broun (GA), Poe (TX), and Westmoreland (GA), all Republicans.) It still needs to go through the Senate, and on to President Obama’s desk. But thankfully, this signals that some changes to the security theater apparatus may actually be afoot.

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Separately, a federal appeals court has ruled that the TSA has been collecting too much in fees, and has ordered the agencies to “recalculate the amount of fees it charges air carriers for passenger and baggage screening, a development that the airlines say could save them hundreds of millions of dollars.” Just don’t expect those savings to be passed on to you, the traveler…

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Upgraded: L’Avion lounge
When Tyler Colman reviewed the all-business class airline L’Avion for us last year, he commented on their lack of a real lounge at Newark Liberty Airport. That deficiency has been addressed, with the opening of a real lounge in Terminal B, shared by L’Avion and Jet Airways of India.

Upgraded: Thanksgiving Status Quo
Downgraded: Math
Just like last year, 39% of Americans are expected to travel for Thanksgiving, according to a recent poll. But the conclusion that travel will “mirror” last year as a result of comparable traveler numbers? That smells of bad math. Airline capacity is down from a year ago, with fewer planes in the air. Yet the same number of travelers? Look out. As we get closer to Thanksgiving, consider revisiting these holiday travel tips and these five ways to get an edge on fellow travelers.

Downgraded: Toilet paper supplies on Qantas
Here’s a horror story: Trapped on a plane for 24 hours, passengers on board a Qantas flight (from Singapore, diverted to Canberra) had their toilet paper rationed. Four squares per person. Not a square to spare. It’s a tale of absurdity: People on the ground, but unable to deplane, at government orders. But couldn’t they restock the plane’s supplies while on the ground? Bonus points to The Age for their punny headline, “Loo paper rationed on bummer of a diversion.” (rimshot) (Thanks, Rob!)

Upgraded: Concierges on television
“A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha.” So says Michael Scott on last week’s episode of The Office, whose plot centered on business travel. See the full episode here, where it’s available for online viewing until January 15, 2009.

American anti-terror chiefs are threatening to withdraw the Visa Waiver Scheme for British and European tourists unless the EU signs an agreement on the new measures before Christmas.

Under the US Homeland Security scheme, all travellers – including children – without a visa must fill out a detailed online questionnaire about their health and criminal history at least three days before departure.

Travellers are currently required to answer similar questions by filling in forms on board transatlantic flights, which are handed to immigration officials when they land.

But from January 12 next year, the Department of Homeland Security wants this information in advance to check its blacklists for terrorists or anyone considered ‘undesirable’.

The system, the Electronic System of Travel Authorization, is already operational on a voluntary basis. (Gluttons for punishment can test drive it here if you really, really want.)

Travelers who actually do use the new system now will be in for a surprise if they show up at the border without a filled-out I-94 form. As this report indicates, the US Customs and Border Service currently collects volunteers’ data, and makes it look like travelers are avoiding an additional step by participating in the online process, but in reality, they’ll still need to fill out the paper forms anyway. Delightful.

So the U.S. government is spreading confusion by offering conflicting and redundant processes for international visitors. And to what end? Have you seen the questions that the form actually asks? For the most part, they’re laughable. Take a look what our governments asks the citizens of the world:

“Moral turpitude”? How very specific, and not at all relativistic.

Thankfully, this procedure keeps drug-using, diseased, terrorist Nazi ex-con kidnappers looking for work out of the United States. At least, it keeps the scrupulously honest ones, who fill out the form, out.

Why would anyone — even a guilty party — answer “yes” to any of these questions? Do these forms actually catch anyone? And if they’re genuinely threatening people, what’s more important: Keeping them out of the country, or catching them at the border?

At the end of the day, the federal government is willing to tick off thousands of international visitors (and their currency, I might add) over a stricter enforcement of these Mickey Mouse questions. And I don’t mean the Disney-organized pro-customer service PR blitz. What would the mouse think?

Downgraded: “Fakeproof” passports
I love stories like this: British authorities touted the safety and security of their “e-passport,” effectively a passport with an embedded radio-frequency chip. Hacker-proof, they claimed. It was cracked, cloned, and altered within minutes. Minutes. Not even hours, much less days, or weeks. Minutes. The computer researcher proved his point by changing the data to make the passport appear to be Osama bin Laden’s, complete with passport photo. Just awesome. (Recall that, as posted a couple years ago, the easiest way to destroy the chip inside your passport, if you’re wary of RFID scanners stealing your personal information, is with a hammer.)

Downgraded: American Airlines upgrades
A downgraded upgrade? Indeed. American recently rolled out copayment fees for many of its upgrade awards. See the changes on the award chart here. More evidence of the devaluation of miles, if you needed a reminder.

Upgraded: European booking war hilarity
Britain’s Thomson Holidays, part of the TUI Group, came under heat for offering vacation rentals in Greece or Turkey for £14 a week. At £2 a night, that’s some cheap sleeps. Why was this problematic? Competitors complained that Thomson was changing customer expectations, causing travelers to hold out and wait for the rock-bottom room rate, instead of booking early. Sounds like crybaby talk to me.

Upgraded: Alliance dalliance
It’s not really a surprise, given the urge to merge that’s rampant in aviation today, but American Airlines, British Airways, and Iberia are looking to link up. They’re already alliance partners within Oneworld, and this isn’t a merger (yet), but the three airlines are trying to get antitrust immunity, so they can collude and set fares together. There’s really no benefit to consumers in this, especially if you fly between London and the United States. AA and BA dominate those routes, and the companies want to expand their price-setting power.

Upgraded: Google Maps’ sense of humor
Remember how Google Maps gave directions from the U.S. to Europe which included the instruction to swim across the Atlantic? Those jokesters recently did it again, suggesting you kayak across the Pacific Ocean. (They took it down, alas.)

Upgraded: Your chance to speak your mind on aircraft interiors
Friend of the blog Addison Schonland is doing some market research on aircraft interiors, and what you want to see inside those aluminum tubes. Take his poll, which will hopefully filter through to airline designers and execs attending the Aircraft Interiors Expo show next month.

Upgraded: Stormy weather
Priceline is once again rolling out a cute promotion, which promises to pay the cost of your vacation package if your trip is rained out, through November 16, 2008. The “Sunshine Guarantee” kicks in if a half inch of measured rainfall is present on HALF of the days of your trip. That’s a lot of rain, so don’t count on any payout. Kerala monsoon holiday, anyone?

America’s no-fly list is so extensive and full of errors, that even Federal Air Marshals are being kept off planes.

False identifications based on a terrorist no-fly list have for years prevented some federal air marshals from boarding flights they are assigned to protect, according to officials with the agency, which is finally taking steps to address the problem.

Federal Air Marshals (FAMs) familiar with the situation say the mix-ups, in which marshals are mistaken for terrorism suspects who share the same names, have gone on for years — just as they have for thousands of members of the traveling public.

Hey, at least they’re not being kept off because they’re carrying weapons.

But it’s nice to know that the people whose sole job is to protect passengers in flight are being kept off planes. Why, why, WHY can’t a Federal Air Marshal, showing federal law enforcement credentials get on the damn plane?

The no-fly list is still a disaster. How about this nugget:

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said this week that one major air carrier reports roughly 9,000 false positive hits on the watch list every day.

Let’s savor that one for a moment: One single airline has 9000 false positives. Daily.

And some of those might be Federal Air Marshals.

TSA agents apparently want more respect from the traveling public, and their white-shirted uniforms are being replaced this fall with more police-like regalia. The blue shirt, the badge… makes it a little harder to mouth off when you see that uniform, eh smart guy?

Beyond the cosmetic change, you’ll also face some changes if you’re traveling through America’s airports. As of this past weekend, you’ll need to pull “large video game consoles and DVD players” out of your carry-ons for separate screening, much as it’s been necessary to pull out your laptop for a while now.

Who travels with their Xbox? I guess some people do.

“Small electronic items, such as cellphones, MP3 players, iPods and portable video game systems do not have to be removed from passenger’s carrying cases.” …but how many frontline TSA agents will be requiring those items to be removed anyway? Who’s making book on that?

The new rules went into effect on Friday without prior warning, and some airlines sent out alerts to their customers.

How is it that the TSA can impose new restrictions with no advance warning, and yet it takes several weeks for long-standing restrictions on lighters to be rescinded? The argument that it takes a while for information to disseminate should apply to both new restrictions and rule revisions, don’t you think? I just don’t get it.

More things to pull out of your luggage generally means slower security lines. It’ll be a few days before I travel again, so in the interim, reports from the field are welcome. Is there a noticeable change on the front lines?

(image via Benet Wilson’s Towers & Tarmacs)

Downgraded: Any last smidgen of credibility for inflight radio interviews
If you’ve ever flipped through the inflight audio dial on American Airlines, you’ll know that there’s a channel (#9) devoted to “interviews.” University of Chicago economist and Freakonomics author Steve Levitt was invited to participate… for the low, low price of $3995.00. I honestly never gave those interviews advertorials much of a listen, but the participants pay-to-play? And for that much?? Wow. ZERO credibility. (Thanks, Dr. Vino!)

Upgraded, possibly: The international airport welcome wagon
The U.S. Senate has passed a bill expanding the “model airport” program to other international ports of entry.

In April, the DHS designated Houston’s Bush International Airport as the first “model” port of entry, adding multilingual signs and informational videos narrated in Spanish, French, German and English to guide arriving travelers through the customs and immigration process. Arriving visitors are also presented with a “Welcome to the U.S.” brochure.

Unclear if general tone of the arrivals halls will feel any less like a police station, what with the fingerprinting and generally gruff attitude of every employee, but here’s hoping it helps.

Downgraded: British Airways’ standing among royal Qataris
Members of Qatar’s royal family were kicked off a British Airways flight for not following safety procedures, when they refused to take their seats. Why wouldn’t they sit? “After boarding, the women complained about the seats they had been allocated because they were next to men they did not know.” Setting aside the culture clash: None of this would have happened if British Airways would actually allow advance seat assignments for passengers on fares lower than the most expensive tickets. (Given their seating concerns, I imagine the royals flew discounted business business class.)

Downgraded: Your privacy (who knew it could be downgraded more?)
Under an expanded security agreement between the US and the EU, gobs and gobs of personal data can and will be shared with governments. If asked, airlines will be required to hand over any information they collect from you. Ask for a king-size bed as part of your package? Homeland Security will know. (Via Consumerist)

Upgraded: TSA Chief Kip Hawley’s internet presence
Downgraded: Logical explanations
Security guru Bruce Schneier is running a multi-part interview with TSA Director Kip Hawley this week. The first part is here. Bruce questions the logic of the 3-ounce liquid restrictions, etc. I’m happy to see Hawley reaching out again, but some of the answers just don’t cut it. For example: “If a TSO finds you or the contents of your bag suspicious, you might get interviewed and/or have your bags more closely examined. If the TSO throws your liquids in the trash, they don’t find you a threat.” Huh? What? Read the whole thing.

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