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Upgraded: The Five-Finger Discount
Chris Elliott essentially accuses the TSA’s baggage screeners of systematically stealing things from travelers’ luggage. Watch your designer eyewear. (How’s the hate mail from angry TSA employees, Chris?TSA employees aren’t exactly quiet when they’re criticized on the internet…)

Downgraded: Pilots’ comfort zone
Several Continental 757s traveling over the Atlantic have been making fuel stops in Canada on the westbound route. As Jared Blank points out, this isn’t a case of running-on-fumes, but as a passenger, who the hell cares? I don’t want to add a stop in Newfoundland just for kicks. Granted, I’ve never been wild about 757s on trans-oceanic routes, but the low-fuel issue isn’t limited to those routes. Pilots have been complaining that airlines have been pressuring them to fly with less extra fuel than before. After all, fuel is heavy, so carrying more means burning more. But let’s not be penny-wise, pound-foolish.

Upgraded: Advice that no one is heeding
Bob Crandall, former CEO of American Airlines, and now working for an air taxi startup, argues in the New York Times op-ed pages that we “do not need to return to the over-regulation of the past, but some government intervention is required.” This includes blocking mergers and changing bankruptcy laws to prevent airlines from operating under chapter 11. Good luck, Bob.

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Merger speculation is no longer speculation
It’s on. Delta is officially offering 1.25 shares per Northwest Airlines share, a 16.75% premium over closing prices of DAL and NWA, respectively. Important to the success of the merger: The pilots’ union, ALPA, gets a seat on the resulting airline’s board and 3.5% equity in the company. The result, if it passes shareholder votes, is the world’s largest airline.

Up next: Continental-United. It’s going to happen, though nothing is official. Northwest’s linkup with Delta makes it possible, since Northwest held a “golden share” of Continental stock and could nix a merger if they wanted. Sigh. With several airlines folding in the past weeks, and with one or two mergers coming up, competition will (at least temporarily) be reduced significantly. Watch for prices to rise. But will rising prices kill demand?…

Who will be next to fall?
Chris Elliott may be making book on which airline will fold next, but it won’t be Virgin America. (I put an exacta box on Alitalia and SunCountry, with a side bet on Mesa and a long-shot on VA. The latter bet may be down the crapper. Thankfully, no money changed hands…) The Branson-powered airline will get another $100 million in capital from investors. Profitability is still 3 years away, they say. Three years for me to win that bet!

More FAA inspections… but no groundings
The FAA, fresh off its attempted legitimacy-building groundings of American’s MD-80s, is ordering the repair of wing de-icing systems, landing gear, and (!) oxygen masks on 1980s-era Boeing 737s. That means Continental, Delta, Southwest, United, and others will have some repairs to make. But it’s obviously not urgent, since the airlines have 36 months to fix things. So, three years from now, if airlines are grounded for these problems, you’ll know why. Bonus: United and the Air Transport Association asked for 48 months, instead of 36. Denied. This really, really, really must not be a big deal.

Peter Greenberg disagrees, after chatting up an FAA inspector responsible for Mesa’s fleet. But Peter, much like with a car, there are degrees of repair. Sure, I should get those wiper blades replaced on the old Honda, as they’re streaking a bit when I wipe the dew off in the morning, but they’re not a danger to me… yet. I agree that repairs should be made, and maintenance is important, but as long as the FAA says it’s minor work and the pilots are willing to put their lives on the line, I’m willing to take the chance and get onboard.

Urinals!
We’ve been promised martini bars, bedrooms, and even weight rooms, so I’ll believe it when I see it, but here’s another in the long line of upgrades to the inflight experience:

Airbus announces the option of urinals in onboard restrooms. That will make turbulence so much less … messy.

But not good enough, Airbus: I demand bidets!

Upgraded: Overreaction
Downgraded: Everyone
Turn on the news, you’ll see reports of American Airlines canceling more flights. At last count, they’ve canceled over 2500 flights, costing millions of dollars, and pissing off hundreds of thousands of customers. Their MD-80s weren’t properly repaired last week, when the FAA grounded them the first time (umm, why weren’t they properly repaired, exactly?). But really, was this mayhem necessary? The FAA previously gave the airline 18 months to fix this wiring. Sure, it should have been done, and done right. But if the FAA felt the airline could take 18 months to fix things, it can’t be that big a deal. So why ground every single MD-80 in the AA fleet? Punitive, sure, but who is punished? Hundreds of thousands of passengers, in addition to the airline itself. (At least the airline is rebooking passengers where possible, but flights are already full, so where can passengers really go?) Seems like a more orderly plan could have been developed.

Upgraded: Delta-Northwest merger odds
Delta’s pilots have agreed to a deal that could pave the way for the Delta-Northwest merger, previously on the skids. We’ll see. (Thanks to Dr. Vino!)

Upgraded: Them. Not you
Hundreds of thousands of people are stranded in airports, waiting to get out on the next flight. If you’re feeling bitter, you may not want to read about how airlines treat VIP passengers. Not elite frequent flyers. Celebrities. (Thanks to reader J!)

Upgraded: Explanations for the accidental discharge of a pilot’s pistol
Downgraded: The TSA
Still wondering how a US Airways pilot might have fired a weapon mid-flight? Here’s a plausible explanation, in video (or vlog) form. (Enjoy the guy’s amazing Chicago accent, as a bonus.) The post suggests that TSA’s policy — requiring an awkward padlock that can pull the trigger if conditions are right — is to blame. I’m still opposed to guns in the cockpit, but the argument against this particular lock system makes sense. Locks: good. This lock: maybe not. Better training of pilots would help, too, methinks. (Thanks to reader Dave!)

Downgraded: Checked baggage weight
In the U.S., airlines are waging a war against the second checked bag. Across the Pacific, Australian baggage handlers are threatening to refuse to move bags weighing more than 20kg (44 lbs.) Until now, 32kg (70 lbs.) were considered legal weight, and those numbers still appear in the Qantas contract. Most U.S. airlines have a 50 lb. cutoff before overweight charges kick in. But this is different: It’s not about fees, it’s about willingness to transport bags over a given weight, period. Bottom line: As always, pack light! (Thanks to reader Rob!)

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American Airlines grounded its entire fleet of MD-80 jets to check wiring on the planes. As I write this, 325 flights are canceled.

Delta, also with a sizable MD-80 and -90 fleet, canceled several hundred flights for the same reason.

Earlier in the week, United took a number of its 747s out of service, also to perform maintenance checks, “to ensure compliance with federal maintenance standards.” All of a sudden? “The Federal Aviation Administration ordered the temporary groundings after discovering that test equipment used at a South Korea maintenance station was faulty.”

What’s going on?

After Southwest’s brief grounding of more than 40 737-300 jets because of possible damage to the aircraft’s metallic “skin,” the FAA is cracking down on maintenance. The agency “recently launched spot checks of compliance with safety requirements for all U.S. airlines.”

Well, good. After apparently not doing enough spot checking, the agency is playing catch-up. It’s encouraging, I suppose, that the inspections are being done now. But what does that mean for recent flights, like those, say, a week before these recent groundings? Wasn’t maintenance taken seriously before? Were you taking a risk?

There probably wasn’t much risk to passengers, frankly. I always comfort myself with the notion that the pilots are as much at risk as passengers. If they’re willing to get on board, then so am I.

But, as a matter of principle, I prefer that my airlines don’t cut corners and don’t skimp on maintenance. I also prefer that my government’s regulatory bodies do their job and actually keep companies under scrutiny in a clear, defined, and above all consistent manner. That clearly didn’t happen. And that is what needs to be addressed. The sky isn’t falling, but things could sure be better.

The airlines affected are canceling flights wholesale today, though they promise to be back on schedule soon. That’s the immediate bad news for travelers today. The fact that regulation has been haphazard is frankly of greater concern.

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Passenger bill of rights (PBOR) advocates were dealt a blow today, when a federal appeals court overturned New York’s PBOR law. Why? The state law is superseded by the federal Airline Deregulation Act of 1978, so the state legislature is deemed unable to re-regulate the airlines.

The challenge to the New York law was brought by the Air Transport Association of America, the industry trade group that represents many U.S. airlines.

As Sam Glover notes:

While the Second Circuit’s interpretation of the preemption clause in the Airline Deregulation Act of 1978 seems at least reasonable, I have to wonder whether the air travel industry would have been better off losing this case. Now they just look like inhuman jerks who do not want to be bothered with giving trapped passengers some very basic creature comforts. Like air to breathe and a place to pee.

Fixing this at a state level may not work, after all. This will require leadership at the federal level. Write your House Representative. And your Senators, too.

(Thanks to Sam and Lar!)

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Upgraded: Frequent flyer legislation
Downgraded: The value of your miles
Frequent flyer programs can be a byzantine maze. Above all, nearly everyone is cranky about being able to cash in their frequent flyer miles. I just tried winnowing down the uncomfortably large kitty of points for some Caribbean travel in May and was given the Heisman. But I’m not cheering on Washington state legislator Chris Hurst, who’s proposing a bill that would allow consumers to cash in their miles at 0.2 cents apiece. “Cash in” literally — for cash. House Bill 2707 is probably not going to go anywhere, but it’s meant as a shot across the bow of airlines whose point redemptions are increasingly stingy. Representative Hurst, call me when you start demanding 2 cents per mile or better. (via Pointswizard)

Upgraded: Delta’s business class seats… on some of its planes
Delta is rolling out new fully-flat seats on its 767s that travel internationally. Excellent news. But only on the 767s for starters, which means that the Delta fleet will have a patchwork of seating at the front of the plane. Sure, every airline rolls new seats out one plane at a time, but it’s odd to limit the rollout explicitly to one aircraft type.

Upgraded: Delta’s flight attendants’ trepidations
With Delta and Northwest in confirmed talks regarding a possible merger, the as-yet non-unionized flight attendants at Delta are looking to organize. Delta’s attendants might be members of the AFA-CWA as of February 14. Consider it a Valentine to Delta management. The goal is to “have a seat at the table” when merger discussions take shape.

Upgraded: Competition for hourly car rentals
With the success of hourly “car-sharing” rentals like Zipcar, the big car rental players are getting in on the action. Reportedly, Enterprise is launching its own version, dubbed “WeCar,” which is being test near Washington University in St. Louis. Just be sure to walk around the car and take photos before and after the rental. If WeCar is anything like their regular operation, those Enterprise guys will try to nail you for any damages on the car, whether it happened on your watch or not.

Upgraded: Gitmo!?
Disturbing and bizarre: There actually exists scheduled service to Guantanamo Bay, ironically provided by the happy-go-lucky sounding Air Sunshine, using 9-seat Cessnas. For those wishing to plan their trip, service is only four days a week, at $250 each way. Not cheap, for such a short trip, and you’d better hope they honor the return portion of the ticket. But you may never want to leave. After all, as Dick Cheney described the conditions for detainees at the base’s prison facilities, when he spoke to CNN in 2005, “They’re living in the tropics. They’re well fed. They’ve got everything they could possibly want.”

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For U.S. travelers, the old pre-deregulation Rule 240 was a godsend, a way to practically ensure that you’d get to your destination if your booked flight was delayed for reasons other than weather. Invoke rule 240, and the airline would put you on the next flight to your destination — even if that flight was on the competition!

It’s true. Airlines were once required to simply sign over tickets to another carrier if their flights were delayed or canceled, as long as weather wasn’t the cause. Customers won. (And I could imagine that this would encourage tip-top maintenance, too.)

With the demise of regulation, Rule 240 was no longer a standard requirement for airline contracts. Each airline could tinker with their contracts of carriage here and there, and they did. Some kept the old rule 240 in the contract, and they even called it “rule 240.” But the global requirement that there be such a rule was gone.

Every so often, the subject of rule 240 comes up again in the travel media. This time, eminences grises Peter Greenberg and Joe Brancatelli posted opposing views on the existential question of whether or not Rule 240 exists, with Chris Elliott playing referee. Read ‘em all.

The bottom line, to me, is this: There is no true Rule 240 anymore. Some airlines have it, some don’t. And it’s not a rule, as much as it is a practice, with a bit of discretion and leeway for the gate agent. But it’s worth asking for, in a pinch. It can’t hurt to try.

Above all, the key is that Rule 240 is not universal, neither in name, nor in scope. Airlines and passengers are supposed to abide by the terms of the contract of carriage, which differs by airline. And these contracts change from time to time, much to travelers’ chagrin. You don’t like that? Tough luck. It’s not like you can cancel your ticket without penalties, even if the airline changes its contract. (Who writes these things? Must be a sweet gig.)

But just because Rule 240 isn’t a blanket rule across all carriers doesn’t mean you can’t try invoking it, or its contractual descendant. If you’re delayed, ask to be rescheduled on another flight. But remember, if the delay is due to weather, you’re out of luck. And guess what airlines will try to blame the delays on?

As I’ve argued before, always carry a copy of your airline’s contract. I usually lug a laptop with me, so I download the contract before I leave. If there’s a delay, you’ve got the documentation to scroll through.

Personally, I’ve never actually invoked Rule 240, or any of its variants, to fly on another airline at no further cost. (Though a kind Delta agent once put me on an American Airlines flight from Seattle to Chicago, when I was traveling on a “free” SkyMiles ticket from Anchorage that wasn’t routed anywhere near Seattle… It’s a long story. In retrospect, she probably 240′ed me.) I’ve been rebooked many times on alternate flights on the airline that operated my original ticket, but that, to me, isn’t really Rule 240. But I know people who have, to some success. But things change, and I wouldn’t bet on it working out for you if you tried “invoking” it today.

But how about you? Have you used it? Have you been denied?

Hit the poll!

(Reading this in the feed? Trouble voting? Click here to vote.)

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The Federal Aviation Administration has proposed changes to the way airports calculate the fees they charge airlines. If approved, the rules will allow airports to charge different rates for flights that land at different times. The logic: By charging higher rates at peak times, there will be incentives for airlines to schedule their flights off-peak, to save money on landing fees.

My initial take: If the goal is to truly reduce delays, I don’t think this will work.

Airlines don’t schedule a bazillion flights to depart from New York simultaneously because they’re being arbitrary. It’s because people want or need to depart during those times.

Sure, some airlines might find off-peak pricing to be an incentive — Skybus, anyone? — but that’s not going to be enough to change the Americans, Deltas, and Uniteds of the world. It’ll just push up the price of tickets for peak travel.

For those who want to get deep into the weeds, Chris Elliott has the full text of the new ruling on his blog.

Despite my pessimism regarding delays, allowing flexible fees isn’t necessarily a bad idea… if you’re an airport. Charging more for peak times is a way for airport operators to make more money. Maybe I’m just a cynic, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s what this is really all about.

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Flying in Canada? There’s a new rule that prohibits airlines from charging particularly large passengers an extra fee for taking up more than one seat.

The Canadian Transportation Agency ruling Thursday gives Air Canada, Air Canada Jazz and WestJet one year to bring in a “one-person, one-fare” policy.

The ruling applies to disabled people, including the severely obese, who require two seats to accommodate them. It also applies to disabled persons who need an attendant seated with them on flights.
[…]
The agency estimates the new policy will cost Air Canada about $6.93 million a year, and WestJet about $1.48 million a year. That amounts to about 77 Canadian cents a ticket for Air Canada and 44 Canadian cents for WestJet.

In the U.S., Southwest has been charging an extra fee for some time (but only when flights are booked solid). They’ve been sued at least once, but the practice persists. It’s not just a North American thing, either: Air France was also sued for charging a passenger for an extra seat.

Lawsuits have typically charged discrimination, and that’s how the Canadian rule is framed.

My own view: It’s fine to give an oversized person a seat for the price of one ticket, as long as the other passengers aren’t required to give up their space. 17 inches width is little enough, that should be a minimum we fight to uphold.

But what do YOU think? Is Canada’s new policy fair or not? Should other countries follow suit? Are airlines doing enough?

Vote in the poll, and hit the comments with your thoughts.

(Reading via the feed? Trouble reading the poll? Try here.)

Related:
- Travel by the pound
- Southwest’s “customer of size” Q&A
(Thanks again to reader J!)

Late for a very important date? Everyone moans about airline delays, and now the U.S. Department of Transportation is using the only language it knows will make the airlines perk up and listen: Money.

Following an investigation into consistently-late flights, the DOT has threatened to fine those airlines who are operating the worst-offending flights.

But don’t believe the hype. This is great PR for the government, making it sound like they’re really going after the delays that plague American airports. But if reports are accurate, then these “fines” are a lot of hot air: Only 26 flights meet the apparent standard for fines, by being late at least 15 minutes at least 70 percent of the time. 26. Two-six. But over 25 percent of ALL flights arrived late between January and August of 2007. 26 flights, or about 26 percent? Quite a difference.

Plus, count on the operating airlines to muck with the statistics. If flight 421 is consistently late, then they’ll change the flight number to 133 and restart the clock. Poof! Problem solved!

Fines, primetime landing fees, or other financial instruments might reduce delays, but the program as proposed isn’t going to do much for travelers.

New York passes passenger bill of rights
It’s official: New York governor Eliot Spitzer signed a passengers’ bill of rights, which kicks in January 1 for flights grounded for three or more hours at New York airports. Note that the law won’t require airlines to allow people off the planes after three hours. Rather, it will require that the airline keep the toilets clean and the beverages flowing — thereby creating a roundabout requirement for airlines to link back up to the terminal. Lawsuits will fly. Pass the popcorn.

But the fact that this is a local law, and not a federal one, is absurd. Will we now need a separate contract of carriage for every possible way station on our trips? I’m all for states taking the initiative when the federal government won’t act (think California emissions), but laws like this one or the Chicago bill just indicate how broken the system is, from top to bottom. Those “customer service plans” that the airlines have offered up as a self-regulation alternative haven’t done the job, and Congress hasn’t acted quickly enough to address the systemic problems — air traffic control as well as passenger rights. We’ll see if this lights a fire under the collective asses of our legislative branch.

How to make Amtrak fun again: Free booze!
Drunken passengers are happy passengers. So says Amtrak, which is offering $100 in free drink vouchers for long-haul sleeper car trips. Sponsored in part by “Night Train”?

Virgin America debuts tomorrow
Tomorrow is Virgin America’s first flight. Anyone out there flying them on day one? (or heck, week one?) Hit the comments and tell the tale!

Upgraded: US Airways elite status for non-elites
Downgraded: Existing US Airways elite member satisfaction
US Airways is letting those without status buy their way into the rank and file of the elite frequent flyer set, giving them access to the upgrade waiting list and a few bonus miles. Whoo. If I were a US Airways elite, I’d be peeved at their “Try Preferred Status on for size” promotion. Much like Tim Winship argues, it’s hard enough getting an upgrade; now the airline is willing to sell your loyalty down the river to make a quick buck, thereby making it even harder to snag that wider seat with the marginally better service. Classy.

Upgraded: Virgin America
Slow-going upstart Virgin America got its approvals all lined up, and they’re officially legal to sell tickets and fly around the USA. But they’re not selling tickets yet. Their website still promises the moon. What’s the holdup? Jeez, people! August, they say.

Downgraded: Airport scales
Surprise, surprise. The scales at airports are often wrong. How often? 90% of scales were off in a Phoenix television station’s investigative report. Problems limited to Phoenix? Probably not. Try to make sure your scale is at zero when you put down your bags, but that won’t necessary avoid trouble. (Via Consumerist)

Upgraded: The little guy
Jane Waun rocks. She took Spirit Airlines to small claims court for the additional expenses she incurred after Spirit summarily canceled her flight and left her high and dry. They refunded her money for the ticket (eventually) but didn’t cover her additional costs. So she sued. And she won, in part because Spirit never showed up to fight it. 90% of success is showing up, or something like that, right?
(Update: I see Chris Elliott picked up on this, too. And he goes a step further, suggesting that everyone take every travel company to small claims court. Sue them every time, and hope they don’t show, in order to force them to change their practices. Nice idea, but small claims cases still take time! That’s probably why Spirit blew the case off in the first place. But if you have the time, go for it.)

Upgraded: Price transparency in the European Union
The EU Parliament has passed a set of rules mandating that airlines have to quote full prices, not just base fares. (Take that, easyJet!) The law needs approval from member states before taking effect, but this is pro-consumer. Let’s hope the member states pass it.

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