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The merger insider
Holly Hegeman’s red phone rang, and a trusted insider gave her this update on the United-Continental merger rumors. It’s on.

…the bulk of the existing United Airlines brand will continue to be used internationally, but Continental will take over the domestic operation for the most part. Other details we were told included the fact that there has already been a transition team put together. The deal will be announced after Delta/Northwest goes public. There will initially be a holding company set up to run both airlines. This operation will continue for three-five years. This will allow for a “smoother transition” from the two airlines into one operation.

But what happens if Delta-Northwest doesn’t go through, as it’s now hit a labor-related snag?

The “holding company” concept is one I expected when merger speculation first arose. Much like Air France and KLM operate separately under one company, it looks like the same idea is in the cards for the United-Continental merger, at least to start. But the merger looks like it’s on. Oh well.

Is that “going #3″?
Best opening paragraph in a while:

A newborn baby girl survived an ignoble birth after slipping down the toilet bowl of a moving Indian train onto the tracks when a pregnant woman unexpectedly gave birth while relieving herself on Tuesday.

Bad karma? Or a moral social stand?
Fighting the trend of tipping in American society seems like a losing battle, but the WSJ’s Eric Felten argues against the tip jar at Starbucks. It’s a good read.

Less than 1 cent per mile? No thanks.
I was going to comment that Delta’s new policy that allows you to use SkyMiles to buy a ticket based on the cost of the ticket, rather than the origin and destination, was generally a bad deal, and that it was an other salvo in their devaluation of the mileage currency. But Gary Leff and Tim Winship have already argued this point forcefully, so I’ll let them speak for me. I’ll just nod in agreement.

Misspellings go multinational
My disdain for the name “SimplyWheelz” is not enough to stop the brand from spreading. Hertz’s low-cost car rental subsidiary is expanding beyond Orlando to Alicante and Malaga, Spain, with sales channels targeting British and German tourists.

An old favorite: Fly first class at coach prices
One of this blog’s longstanding favorite subjects, the Y-UP fare, which books into economy but seats you in first class, gets a fresh look from Rick Seaney. The usual caveat applies: Y-UP may be cheaper than walkup regular-economy fares, but they’ll rarely ever beat out a cheapo fare purchased months ago. Nonetheless, it’s always worth a search.

Unscheduled landings stink, but especially internationally
Being diverted to another airport? Never fun. Being stuck on the plane? Never fun. Being diverted, and then stuck on a plane, because you’ve just landed in a different country? Even less fun. Just ask the Qantas passengers who were stuck on the plane during an unscheduled mechanical pit stop in India. (Thanks, Rob!)

eBay auction: Fly the A380 in its commercial debut
If you want to fly on the A380’s maiden commercial voyage with Singapore Airlines, and not just admire Lego miniature models (above), then eBay might have your ticket. Coming soon, a charity auction of tickets on the inaugural flight, with proceeds going to Community Chest of Singapore and Doctors Without Borders. When can you start bidding? That depends on Airbus: “The auction will take place a few weeks before the flight. SIA said that it would announce the launch date once it had a delivery date from Airbus for the plane.”

Westjet: No paper required
Canadian airline Westjet is eliminating the need for printouts of e-tickets. A copy of your ticket on your laptop or smartphone will do the trick. Might not work on US-Canada flights — the ID checker at American airports would likely still try to scrawl their initials on your LCD screen. (via TheAirlineHub)

Drunken pilots? So 1990s. But drunken astronauts?
“At least twice, astronauts were allowed to fly after flight surgeons and other astronauts warned they were so drunk they posed a flight-safety risk.” Be glad Virgin Galactic hasn’t launched.

Eos opens new lounge at Stansted
All-business Eos Airlines escalates the trans-Atlantic wars with a new lounge at London-Stansted.

Qantas introduces premium economy
Wider seats (19.5″), more legroom, legrests, better menu, laptop power, noise-canceling headsets, and a separate check-in line. If flying to Australia, and if you feel like paying about twice the price of coach (but half the price of business), then Qantas premium economy may be the ticket. Coming February 2008 on their Airbus A380s and Boeing 747s.

Time-waster: Statris!
Test your USA geography and your motor reflexes with Tetris-esque geo-fun! (via BoingBoing)

Arthur G. writes in:

The Airbus 380 looks amazing. How much will tickets cost?

This is actually quite a common question received here at Upgrade: Travel Better HQ. People are clearly awed by the size of the A380 — I was awed, too, when I saw it back in March. Others are wary of getting on a plane that big, especially in case of an emergency. (See the evacuation test video for a best-case scenario.)

But your question about prices can’t be answered, Arthur. While an airline’s equipment certainly affects its cost structure (and the A380 isn’t cost-effective on every route), the price of a plane ticket isn’t solely linked to the model of aircraft.

You probably wouldn’t ask, “How much will a flight on Boeing 737 cost?” After all, you can fly a Boeing 737 on Aloha Airlines from Honolulu to Kona, or on Continental from San Francisco to Newark, or even from Houston to Zurich in an all-business class configuration on Privatair. The price could be anywhere from $39 to $8000. The model of plane isn’t determining the fare.

So if you want to fly on the Airbus A380, your fare will depend on the route, the airline, the class of service, how far in advance you buy the ticket… not to mention that old standby, supply and demand. Just like every other flight.

Singapore Airlines will receive the first four A380s to roll off the assembly line, with expected delivery date in the fall of this year. The initial route will be London-Singapore-Sydney. Qantas will bring the behemoth to American shores on flights to Australia in 2008. Lufthansa will bring the ‘bus to New York thereafter, if all goes according to plan.

But the price of those flights? That depends.

Related:
- Airbus A380 at Chicago O’Hare
- Video: Airbus A380 evacuation test
- Singapore Airlines (aff)

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When free drinks aren’t welcome
Why would there be an uproar over an airline giving a customer a free bottle of wine? When that customer is a celebrity who just left rehab for alcoholism. A well-meaning Qantas flight attendant gave a bottle of red to singer Keith Urban, who apparently declined. But come on: give the flight attendant a break! Unless the airline is giving CIA-style background briefings about the passengers in the cabin, you can’t be expected to know the ins and outs of every celebrity’s (or every passenger’s) personal life. In fact, I was quite content to be blissfully unaware of Mr. Urban’s specific addiction before this imbroglio. (Thanks Dr. Vino!)

Group hug: Mergers and partnerships
JetBlue merging with Delta? Rumored, but unlikely. Brazil’s TAM and Germany’s Lufthansa? Not a merger, but a codesharing partnership. United is getting in on the hot codesharing action with TAM, too. Lufthansa also joined up with El Salvador’s TACA, already a United partner. Are the Star Alliance invitations far off? And keepin’ it Star, is Singapore Airlines buying China Eastern? They’re buying a piece, but how big will that piece be?…

Can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?
British Airways, apparently in a response to the all-business class service from startups like Eos, Silverjet, and Maxjet, is considering rolling out all-premium service between unnamed European and American cities. Premium economy in the back, business in the front. No straight-up economy, and no first. (Thanks, Benet!)

Countdown to 7/8/07
Boeing has started assembling its first 787 Dreamliner, a plane manufactured in prefab pieces around the world and bolted together at the Everett factory. The debut is scheduled for July 8. 7/8/07… 787… har har har.

American updates website, makes it more like Southwest
American Airlines revamped their website, giving you an overview of the different fares you can book. The layout will be familiar, if you’ve ever booked on Southwest. Or Air Canada. Or Qantas. Or Ted. (Does anyone ever actually book tickets at the Ted site?)

Yapta comes alive!
Yapta, the service that tracks fares after you’ve bought, mentioned here last week, is now live.

Alaska Airlines downgrades their upgrades
If you used miles to upgrade flights on Alaska Airlines, you’ll have to buy far more expensive tickets in order to do so. Thumbs down. Gary Leff has the full scoop.

Upgraded: Your odds of seeing the Airbus A380 in New York
Want to see the Airbus A380 up close and personal? Lufthansa is bringing the über-jumbo jet to New York (as mentioned previously here), and you can enter their contest to tour the plane. It’s still a long shot, but unless you’re a VIP, this is your only way in. Better hurry: The drawing is March 13, and the plane arrives in NYC March 19.

Upgraded: The civil discourse of travel blogging
The Sydney Morning Herald’s travel blog has a lively comments section, wherein the journalists take guff from their readers, but dish it right back. Barbs such as the French word for “shower” get thrown back and forth in the comments to this post. I have a hard time imagining such an exchange on an American newspaper’s official blog. Viva Australia! (Thanks to reader — and frequent, polite commenter! — S.A. for the tip.)

Upgraded: Surreptitious beverage transportation for ladies
You may recall the Beer Belly, the under-your-clothes beverage bladder that upgrades six-pack abs to a full case. It’s essentially a CamelBak undergarment, most certainly a violation of the TSA’s 3-ounce cutoff for liquids and gels, and your fast-track ticket to a cavity search. But until recently, it the liquid smuggling business was a man’s world. Now, in a celebration of gender equality, there’s a similar product for women, with the beverage storage slightly higher on the torso: The Wine Rack. (via Thrillist; thanks Dr. Vino!)

Downgraded: Blackjack in Vegas
Your odds of coming out ahead when playing the tables in Las Vegas have dropped. Several casinos are reducing the payouts on blackjack from 3:2 to 6:5. You need to check the fine print on the signs at each table. If you want to play single-deck blackjack with 3:2 payouts, you’ll have to head to the El Cortez or Four Queens hotels, though both of these less-than-desirable properties only feature two such tables each. (via Tim Leffel)

Upgraded: Qantas first and business qlass
The Global Traveller points to Qantas’ PR for their soon-to-be-revamped first and business class products. Highlights: pajamas in business class, and the claim that their lounges will be the best in the world.

Downgraded: Daylight savings time
The Wall Street Journal warns that the impending shift to daylight savings time will put international connections out of whack for the coming weeks, as some countries will adjust their clocks but others won’t. But frankly, this has almost always been the case. Europe and the United States always had a week or two’s discrepancy on both the autumn and spring sides. Yes, there will certainly be some connections that are out of whack with the normal schedule for the next few weeks, so if you fly a given route regularly, your typical connections may not be possible for the next few weeks. But the airlines’ timetables should reflect the reality of the new times when you buy the ticket, so just double-check your itineraries. I’ll still take my daylight savings time, thanks.

Upgraded: The number 13
Hotels are no longer enumerating their buildings’ floors incorrectly for the sake of superstition. The 13th floor is making a comeback. The statistics are tinged with irony: “A recent USA TODAY/Gallup Poll suggests a large majority of Americans — 87% — would be comfortable with a 13th floor room assignment. But 13% say they’d be bothered by a 13th floor room assignment.”

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The war on runway safety
Bangkok’s new Suvarnabhumi Airport hasn’t worked out as everyone hoped, with cost overruns, insufficient bathrooms, and shoddy workmanship. But now, by virtue of its failure to renew its safety certificate, it’s officially unsafe. Runways have been plagued with cracks and debris. (You’ll be pleased to know that the airport is still operating as normal. Nice. Wouldn’t want to let safety get in the way of the schedule!)

The war on skycaps
Skycaps at Boston’s Logan Airport have filed a class action lawsuit against American Airlines. The suit alleges that the airline’s policy of charging $2 per bag for curbside check-in is cutting into the skycaps’ tips. Indeed, many people assume the fee goes to the skycap, but it actually goes to the airline. The fees exist at plenty of other airports and with plenty of other airlines. Will more skycaps organize and sue?

The war on horse meat
I really don’t know what to make of this. “American Airlines and Delta Air Lines said early Thursday afternoon that they had suspended transport of horse meat to overseas markets – mainly France, Belgium and Japan – where it is consumed.” Horse butchers are angry. It’s a long story.

The war on fusion cuisine
Japan’s Ministry of Agriculture will soon travel the world, inspecting Japanese restaurants and certifying their authenticity. I realize that this is as much cultural nationalism as it is a marketing device, but it’s moronic. California rolls aren’t authentic to Japan, but they’re a standard of sushi restaurants in America. Deal with it. It’s a globalized world, and the notion of a “pure” cultural product is a sham. And it’s been a sham for some time. We’ve been globalizing for hundreds of years. (The spice trade, anyone?) But if the Japanese taxpayer wants to pay for this culinary boondoggle, have at it. (Thanks Dr. Vino!)

The war on broken in-flight entertainment
I get as irritated as the next guy when the audio-video system is broken on a long flight, but attacking the staff is probably not the way to go. Customers on board several Qantas aircraft that have been experiencing technical trouble with their video system “are becoming openly abusive and threatening” to flight attendants in flight. Not cool. Better bring a book.

The war for Delta
US Airways really, really, really, really, really wants to buy Delta. They’re now offering to raise their offer by another $1 billion if the creditors agree to postpone a meeting to discuss Delta’s in-house restructuring. Wake me up when this is over.

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There’s a spectre haunting airports around the world, threatening passenger safety and moral sensibility. That threat: t-shirts.

We’ve seen passengers turned away thanks to shirts with messages like “We will not be silenced” or “Guns and Rollers.”

Now a British man, Allen Jasson, was kept off a London-Melbourne flight on Qantas until he bought a shirt in the gift shop to cover up his anti-George W. Bush attire. AND he got the same treatment in Melbourne, when trying to board a connecting Melbourne-Adelaide flight on Virgin Blue. For wearing this shirt, which was deemed offensive:

(Is it just me, or does the shadowy image of Bush on the shirt look a bit like the guy actually wearing the shirt?)

What’s going on? I mean, sure, the guy is looking to make a statement, and he’s interested in attention, but what harm does this shirt — or any of the “dangerous” shirts — do? Why is an Australian airline, operating in the United Kingdom, censoring a shirt that slams the American president? Is the London-Melbourne route populated by easily-irked Republicans? Why all the fuss?

Around the world, the issue of fuel surcharges has been getting a bit of press, and increasingly, its day in court.

In New Zealand, Qantas got nailed with a fine for false advertising, thanks to 122 convictions of “not disclosing the full cost of a fare, or imposing extra charges such as a fuel surcharge which should have been included in the price.” Air New Zealand was already convicted of similar charges months ago.

In Germany, on the other hand, consumer protection groups lost a battle. The discount airline Hapagfly (part of the TUI travel conglomerate) was found not guilty of charges fundamentally similar to the Qantas case in New Zealand. (Link is in German… keepin’ it local!) That decision contradicts another German court’s ruling against the carrier LTU which was found guilty of false advertising by virtue of excessively small print in newspaper advertisements. The Hapagfly case is going to a higher court.

Here’s hoping the tide is turning in favor of more accurate and transparent pricing.

- Neat video clip of FedEx aircraft on approach to Memphis Airport during a thunderstorm, avoiding the cells. (via coudal.com)
(Update: Original video link is dead, click here instead)

- United Airlines’ pilots to ramp up friendliness campaign. Part of this includes making official the previously occasional practice of pilots handing out their business cards to the most frequent flyers, with a little note thanking them for their business. My next United flight is Saturday; we’ll see if this mid-tier elite gets a card in coach…

- Fellow Star Alliance carrier USAirways reported a small profit this past quarter. Kudos to them!

- Best. Airline. Slogan. EVER. “Blazing like a mother comet producing meteor showers throughout the world.” (Starflyer Airlines of Japan, via coudal, again!)

- While other airlines have announced revamping of first or business class service, Qantas announces improvements to economy. Minor changes, but still…

- An amazing new resource for people in North America looking for cheap fares, though it’s designed for travelers going on a mileage run — a cheap trip whose purpose isn’t to actually visit some other location, but to earn frequent flyer miles (usually for elite status). Fares are ranked on a cents-per-mile basis and published to a FlyerTalk message board. See here.

- While metal knives are an endangered species on board aircraft, spoons are still the stainless steel you love. Love airline spoons? This is your site. (via boingboing)

Another week, another new fee… Qantas has instituted a new fee for customers buying their tickets with a credit card:

Flat fees of $4.40 on domestic flights and $12 on international tickets will replace a charge of 1per cent of the ticket price from May 24. The fees will be charged per passenger per booking.

Fees for using your credit card are nothing new to Qantas fliers, or to many European travelers. In the U.S., though, such fees are nowhere to be seen. Not even when buying a ticket on Qantas. Yet.

I am no expert on the contracts that merchants sign with credit card processing companies, like this sample contract, but would such a fee be legal in the United States? Would it be considered prejudicial to charge extra?

And even if it were legal, would the airlines want to do it? If anything, airlines have been running promotions that offer bonus miles or elite-qualifying miles if tickets are purchased with a particular credit card.

Discouraging credit card use also discourages sales, period. With Americans’ spend-spend-spend consumer habits, I wonder how many people even have enough cash in their accounts to cover their plane tickets at the time of purchase.

As a traveler, I like paying for my ticket with the credit card, for several reasons. Obviously, the miles. But more importantly, the various forms of insurance that come with the card. Trip delay insurance, lost baggage insurance, and the peace of mind of knowing that the charge could be reversed if the airline goes under.

This is one class of fees I hope to avoid.