Downgraded: Expectations
Five-star hotel not living up to its standards? How about a zero-star hotel instead? The lodging — a converted windowless bunker in Switzerland — is also an art project. Zero-star is a cute idea, and it’s certainly fun. (Spin the Wheel of Fate!) And cheap: $9. I like their motto: “The only star is you.” Nonetheless, I believe the correct term for this facility is “hostel” (or “backpackers” for the Aussies/Kiwis in the house). See a video of the ho(s)tel below. Actually, come to think of it, it’s actually nicer than some hostels I stayed in during college.

Upgraded: British Airways
Downgraded: “cheaper” airlines
A (non-scientific) study by the Times of London found that fares were lower on British Airways than on Ryanair. And that was before they took things like luggage fees and check-in fees into account. This just reinforces the importance of price comparison (which Ryanair and its ilk tend to make difficult by keeping their fares out of the global distribution systems). As I’ve always argued, don’t assume that a “low-cost” airline is automatically lower than others. (Thanks to reader J!)

Upgraded: Skycaps
A court has affirmed that American Airlines harmed Boston skycaps’ tip income when it imposed a $2 curbside check-in fee — which went to the airline, not the skycaps. (The $2 fee was dropped in May 2008, when American started charging a fee for all checked bags.)

Upgraded: Inflight wi-fi
In the last few weeks, Virgin America reduced the cost of its inflight wifi. Lufthansa hinted at relaunching global satellite-based wifi using Panasonic’s technology (essentially duplicating the service it once offered via Connexion by Boeing). And another satellite provider, Row 44, which has tested service on Southwest and Alaska Airlines, received approval from the FCC to offer its services.

Downgraded: Continental Express
Another “trapped passengers” story… Continental Express flight gets diverted, keeps passengers on board for NINE HOURS. I mean, really, nine hours? On a regional jet?? There is no excuse for that duration of delay without allowing passengers to disembark. None. I don’t believe that this is the number one problem facing passengers today, but stories like this make it clear that some time limits to passenger trappings do need to be part of any passenger rights bill.

Downgraded: Some of the best premium seats in the sky
Cathay Pacific, which offers one of the best premium class products in the air, is cutting back the number of first and business class seats.

Faced with a bill in Parliament that would impose costs on airlines that keep passengers on board during tarmac delays, Canada’s largest airlines — Air Canada, Air Transat, Jazz Air LP, and WestJet — are trying to pre-empt the legislation by adding passenger rights to their contracts of carriage. The policies are a step forward, but they’re less that what would have been…

The airlines, through the National Airlines Council of Canada (NACC), made the submission as part of a bid to convince MPs to kill Bill C-310, a private member’s bill put forth by New Democratic Party MP Jim Maloway.

Maloway’s bill proposes that passengers kept on a plane for longer than one hour should receive compensation at a rate of $500 per hour.

The bill also calls for airlines to pay $1,200 to a passenger if they are bumped from a flight longer than 3,500 kilometres.

$500 per hour? Ouch! No wonder they’re trying to fend this off.

But instead, the fares filed by the consortium of airlines mirrors the watered-down proposal called “Flight Rights.” The Flight Rights code of conduct, proposed in September 2008 by the Canadian government. Instead of $500 per hour of delay, the counteroffer is a meal voucher. Seriously:

Passengers have a right to punctuality.
a) If a flight is delayed and the delay between the scheduled departure of the flight and the actual departure of the flight exceeds 4 hours, the airline will provide the passenger with a meal voucher.
b) If a flight is delayed by more than 8 hours and the delay involves an overnight stay, the airline will pay for overnight hotel stay and airport transfers for passengers who did not start their travel at that airport.
c) If the passenger is already on the aircraft when a delay occurs, the airline will offer drinks and snacks if it is safe, practical and timely to do so. If the delay exceeds 90 minutes and circumstances permit, the airline will offer passengers the option of disembarking from the aircraft until it is time to depart.

The “trapped passengers” angle is too narrow. As much as it makes for a great headline, it’s a rare occurrence, and not really where the “action” is. But the Flight Rights model doesn’t do much for passengers who are overbooked, a historically far more common phenomenon, either. The language doesn’t even guarantee transportation:

Passengers have a right to take the flight they paid for. If the plane is over-booked or cancelled, the airline must:
a) find the passenger a seat on another flight operated by that airline;
b) buy the passenger a seat on another carrier with whom it has a mutual interline traffic agreement; or
c) refund the unused portion of the passenger’s ticket.

So much for a “right.” And good luck getting b). Of those three options, airlines will likely choose a), even if times are inconvenient to the traveler, and then opt for c).

The Maloway bill is too harsh. But the airlines’ adoption of “Flight Rights” is too little. There’s still a middle ground, waiting to be claimed.

Related:
- Continental to allow passengers off planes after three hours’ delay
- State passenger bill-of-rights law struck down: Who needs food and water, anyway?
- Passenger rights movement regaining relevance?
- Good for the goose, good for the gander: Charge change fees to your airline?

Downgraded: Willingness of friends and loved ones to give you a ride to the airport
Airports’ inventive enthusiasm for new fees rivals that of the airlines, as we’ve seen when airports try to add fees to previously free services like shuttle buses. The latest entry: A passenger dropoff fee. London-Luton Airport will charge a £1 toll to cars bringing passengers to the departures area, with a 10-minute time limit. Dropoff at a parking shuttle bus stop remains complimentary. Birmingham charges double the fee for a 15-minute time window. Great, now they’re not just charging the traveler, but also the family or friends. I realize that this is a way to manage traffic as well as raise money, but I honestly hope we don’t see this set of fees proliferate. (Thanks, Rick!)

Downgraded: Tort law remedies for trapped passengers
A passenger who sued American Airlines for being stuck on a plane on the tarmac for 9 and a half hours (ouch) had her case dismissed by the court. Her charge of false imprisonment didn’t stick.

Upgraded: Buses
Private jets are out. What’s in: Pimped out corporate buses.

Upgraded: Short-term discounts booking Delta or Northwest miles
Delta and Northwest are temporarily reducing the number of miles you need to book frequent flier tickets to international destinations on Delta, Northwest, or KLM. It’s only through April 20, and only for travel abroad, so move quickly. See here for Northwest, or here for Delta. Another sign that traffic across the oceans isn’t exactly brisk… (And remember, you can get bonus miles through April 15 — again, hurry! — for converting your Northwest WorldPerks miles to Delta SkyMiles.)

The Dallas Morning News noted the following comment by Continental’s chief operating officer during the airline’s earnings call on Thursday:

Finally, we are implementing a new internal policy for 2009, whereby we will give customers the opportunity to get off an airplane during tarmac delays in excess of three hours, subject of course to making sure we can do that safely.

The tarmac delay issue is a serious (if rare) one, but it’s not the #1 problem facing travelers today. The reason for the timing is most likely the legislation that’s moving through Congress right now that would require a three-hours “escape” option.

Being stuck on a plane is no picnic, and this is a good step. But the policy needs to be fleshed out. Right now, there are more questions than answers.

How will customers be “allowed to get off the plane”? Will they be bused to the terminal, or does the plane taxi back?

Do all passengers have to get off if someone wants off? Is it an all-or-none proposition?

Will the flight be canceled if someone opts to leave? What if other passengers who really need to make it to their destination stay on board? Who makes that call?

This is going to be a big, stinkin’ logistical mess to work through. And flight crews will need clear rules on both how to implement the policy, and how to communicate the options to passengers.

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Passenger bill of rights (PBOR) advocates were dealt a blow today, when a federal appeals court overturned New York’s PBOR law. Why? The state law is superseded by the federal Airline Deregulation Act of 1978, so the state legislature is deemed unable to re-regulate the airlines.

The challenge to the New York law was brought by the Air Transport Association of America, the industry trade group that represents many U.S. airlines.

As Sam Glover notes:

While the Second Circuit’s interpretation of the preemption clause in the Airline Deregulation Act of 1978 seems at least reasonable, I have to wonder whether the air travel industry would have been better off losing this case. Now they just look like inhuman jerks who do not want to be bothered with giving trapped passengers some very basic creature comforts. Like air to breathe and a place to pee.

Fixing this at a state level may not work, after all. This will require leadership at the federal level. Write your House Representative. And your Senators, too.

(Thanks to Sam and Lar!)

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Has the passenger rights movement found a second life in the recent tumult over airline mergers?

Kate Hanni’s Coalition for an Airline Passengers Bill of Rights, which seemed to be on the fast track to irrelevance by sticking to a narrow pitch of opposing passenger strandings by the airlines, may have found new purpose. The Coalition has created an alliance with the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers to oppose any airline merger that involves American, Continental, Delta, Northwest, or United. (Southwest, AirTran, US Airways… feel free to merge away!)

Will they have an impact on the merger mania? That depends on what “opposition” to a merger really means. Pickets? Passenger and employee strikes? Lawsuits? We’ll see.

But the key is this: This is an effort to take the stalled passenger rights movement and extend it into a real organization by joining forces with other parties. Creating an interest group, and not just a bunch of people with a website.

But as Chris Elliott warned a while back, any organization needs to look out for passengers, not just for media coverage. Opposing these mergers is pro-consumer, so this is a promising step for Kate Hanni & Co. But, much like there are automobile associations, there’s a long way to go before we have a true airline passenger organization.

Still, this may be the first step.

Related:
- Travel 2008: 33 hours from San Juan to Chicago
- Good for the goose, good for the gander: Charge change fees to your airline?
- Passengers’ bill of rights: Slow but steady progress?
- Chicago City Council to mandate passengers’ bill of rights?
- Should we trust airlines to improve passenger rights?

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Steve Baron of Fox News Chicago sends in a link to his station’s report on a God-awful start to the traveling new year. Passengers on a United flight (a Ted flight, technically) from San Juan, Puerto Rico, to Chicago say it took them 33 hours to get from point A to point B. Broken planes which pilots refused to fly, passengers shuffling on and off the aircraft, and just an all-around feeling of customer service breakdown. The one brightside (and this is really a stretch): At least they weren’t stuck waiting for takeoff during all those hours, and got to go back into the terminal.

Yeah, I know. That’s not really much consolation. But they got vouchers! That make you happy? Didn’t think so.

So whatever happened to the Passengers’ Bill of Rights (PBOR)?

New York passed a law back in August, which the airlines sued to stop. They failed. Now other states are close behind with their own legislation. While state legislatures are trying to emulate the New York model, it’s inevitable that some variation will persist. So now this is getting complicated, since rules could vary state by state.

And if legislation doesn’t work to create a national standard, then maybe litigation will. Kate Hanni and Catherine Ray of flyersrights.com have filed separate lawsuits against American Airlines. You may recall that they were trapped on the tarmac in Austin for 7 hours.

Frankly, I wish Congress or the Department of Transportation had had the courage to create some meaningful legislation or regulation, since market mechanisms have clearly failed. But legislators and regulators didn’t do enough, thanks in part to heavy lobbying from the airlines. Which leads us back to 33 hour delays.

Congress and the DOT have left a void. Nature hates a void, which the states and the courts are now starting to fill.

I just hope someone, or something, comes up with a standard, and does it soon.

Related:
- Should we trust airlines to improve passenger rights?
- United’s half-assed policy changes: Not quite a bill of rights, and not quite an upgrade policy fix
- Passengers’ bill of rights: Slow but steady progress?
- Chicago City Council to mandate passengers’ bill of rights?

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New York passes passenger bill of rights
It’s official: New York governor Eliot Spitzer signed a passengers’ bill of rights, which kicks in January 1 for flights grounded for three or more hours at New York airports. Note that the law won’t require airlines to allow people off the planes after three hours. Rather, it will require that the airline keep the toilets clean and the beverages flowing — thereby creating a roundabout requirement for airlines to link back up to the terminal. Lawsuits will fly. Pass the popcorn.

But the fact that this is a local law, and not a federal one, is absurd. Will we now need a separate contract of carriage for every possible way station on our trips? I’m all for states taking the initiative when the federal government won’t act (think California emissions), but laws like this one or the Chicago bill just indicate how broken the system is, from top to bottom. Those “customer service plans” that the airlines have offered up as a self-regulation alternative haven’t done the job, and Congress hasn’t acted quickly enough to address the systemic problems — air traffic control as well as passenger rights. We’ll see if this lights a fire under the collective asses of our legislative branch.

How to make Amtrak fun again: Free booze!
Drunken passengers are happy passengers. So says Amtrak, which is offering $100 in free drink vouchers for long-haul sleeper car trips. Sponsored in part by “Night Train”?

Virgin America debuts tomorrow
Tomorrow is Virgin America’s first flight. Anyone out there flying them on day one? (or heck, week one?) Hit the comments and tell the tale!

United Airlines seems to really enjoy taking half-steps to appease dissatisfied customers lately. To wit:

Skimpy bill of rights
In response to the brouhaha over passengers being stuck on planes, and in an attempt to fend off pending passenger bill-of-rights legislation, United has devised a new policy (leaked Sunday to our friends at the Consumerist, and made public later this week) for delayed flights and trapped customers. You won’t be impressed. Or if you are, snap out of it!:

Flights delayed for more than four hours on departure, or an hour and a half on arrival, will be declared “flights of note.” Passengers on “flights of note” will receive the following:
# An apology note;
# 20% off one (1) roundtrip economy ticket on a future United flight;
# One (1) $10 airport meal voucher.

That is all. Passengers delayed for less than four hours get nothing.

And remember, this only applies to delays where the passengers are on the plane, away from the gate, and stuck out on the airfield somewhere. If you’re delayed but the door is still open, this doesn’t apply.

While jetBlue’s policy revision had its problems, and didn’t go far enough in my opinion, it’s miles ahead of United’s policy, which is really laughable. At least jetBlue offered cash refunds.

Upgrades converting to miles again… for some
Remember United’s policy change for 500-mile upgrades? United’s policy of worthless expiration won no praise from this blog.

Well, they’ve backed down, for middle and upper-level elite frequent flyers. If you’re a United Premier Executive or higher, your upgrades will still convert to miles if they expire unused, but only if you register at their special site, and if you maintain your status level (or higher). And you can’t call up and ask for upgrades to be converted in advance of expiration.

But if you’re a lowly Premier, who flew 25,000 to 49,999 miles last year, you might be a good customer, but you’re out of luck. No corporate mile-love for you.

The policy still stinks. Remember, United’s top competitor, American Airlines, doesn’t put any expiration dates on their upgrades, and allows customers to convert their upgrades to redeemable miles with a simple phone call.

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Elvis has left the building. If by “Elvis,” we mean the entire flight crew of a United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Sydney, and if by “building,” we mean a Boeing 747 full of passengers who just spent over 14 hours in flight.

Passengers on a United Airlines Boeing 747 endured a horrendous 27-hour journey from San Francisco to Sydney yesterday, when their flight was left stranded on the tarmac at Brisbane Airport – without a crew. Fog in Sydney forced the diversion of two United flights to Brisbane early yesterday. But passengers on both aircraft were left to fend for themselves when their United crews clocked off, having exceeded their legal flying hours. (link; emphasis mine)

So let’s get this straight: The plane gets diverted due to weather, the crew goes over their legal time limit, exits the plane, and leaves the passengers locked inside, with no assistance??

Sounds like the modern-day equivalent of “Lord of the Flies.”

Rules? Pfft! With no Leviathan to control the atavistic masses, life onboard devolved to the state of nature. Economy class passengers pillaged first class, spreading themselves wide in the motorized “suites” up front and helping themselves to the few remaining hot nuts. Lavatory smoke detectors were tampered with. Seatbacks and tray tables were kept at partial, not full, upright positions. Exact change was neither necessary, nor appreciated.

Well, maybe not. It’s a testament to the patience of passengers that we’re not reading such stories of onboard revolution.

But honestly, if the crew can be let off the plane, why can’t the passengers? Even if immigration wasn’t prepared for such an influx of cranky flyers (no relation), couldn’t they have let people out and kept them in a waiting room?

Perhaps we’ll hear about an Australian passengers’ bill of rights soon. How fitting that an American carrier would be the one to set that ball in motion.

Thanks to reader Rob M. for the link!

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