Downgraded: Virgin America, Upgraded: Someone else
Poor Virgin America. They want to fly, really they do, but the US government won’t let them. But while the airline waits for a decision, they’ve been forced to lease out their spankin’ new planes to other airlines. It’s the equivalent of going downtown to the pawn shop and cashing in your newly bought plasma TV, just days after you showed it off to all your friends. But this means that other airlines are benefiting from Virgin’s misery. Word on the street says it’s Skybus, the startup airline that wants to rock Columbus, Ohio like a hurricane.

Downgraded: PIA
PIA, aka Pakistan International Airlines, will apparently be slapped by the European Union. The airline’s safety record is so spotty that only their seven newest planes will be allowed to land in the EU. Comforting.

Upgraded: Cruises, highbrow and low
Cruise lines are finally getting into the loyalty program game. I guess they wanted to wait 25 years to see if this whole frequent flyer miles thing was going to work out. Don’t plan to do any mileage runs on a cruise ship anytime soon. While the points don’t expire, they generally measure days at sea. On Silversea Cruises, for example, you need to cruise for 250 days before you can cash in for a free week on the high seas. Ouch.

At the other end of the spectrum, the NYT’s budget traveler, Matt Gross, spent some time on the EasyCruise ship, a hybrid of Ryanair, Carnival Cruises, and MTV’s “Real World.” He manages to express affection for the experience, despite being stuck on a ship with dozens of hard-partying kids looking to put the “easy” back into EasyCruise. Call me an old fart: A floating party hostel may be your speed, but it’s not mine anymore.

Downgraded: Paper tickets
Trees rejoice: Northwest Airlines is planning to eliminate paper tickets entirely. They won’t even be an option. Only 0.1% of their customers used them. The paper ticket is largely an anachronism today, but it still has its place, especially during irregular operations, when airlines can sign over a paper ticket to another carrier. Despite network integration, it’s still harder to do that for an e-ticket.

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The flight landed in Manchester, “where a cat search operation was launched.” It obviously took a while.

The plane was grounded until the cat could be found, since nothing is supposed to get into the aircraft’s instruments. I guess this nixes my advice to American Airlines for their onboard rodent problems.

While the stray feline might not make the cut for the next volume of Animals Aloft, the cat was clearly on a mission. Perhaps tired of being cooped up in the cargo hold, and ready to take the controls? Toonces would be proud…

Related:
- The flying petting zoo vs. the war on allergens

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Angry economy passengers stormed the first-class section on an international flight in a mid-air mutiny. The pilot of the Pakistan International Airlines jet radioed ahead, and 14 people were arrested on suspicion of endangering the aircraft after landing at Manchester Airport.

Cabin crew lost control after the flight was delayed for four hours in searing heat on the tarmac at Islamabad airport in Pakistan. With economy packed, a number of passengers decided to upgrade themselves to the empty luxury section at the front of the Boeing 747. It is believed the crew asked them to move but they refused, so police were called in as the plane landed in the UK on Friday morning.

A spokesman for Greater Manchester Police said: ‘Police at Manchester Airport were alerted to a problem on an incoming PIA flight from Pakistan. When the plane landed, 14 of the passengers were arrested on suspicion of endangering an aircraft in flight.’ The airline refused to comment.

Note, however, that they didn’t land the plane enroute. They waited to land in Manchester, so the “mutineers” enjoyed more spacious seating for the remainder of their flight. Who says that crime doesn’t pay!

The corpse of a man was recovered from the wheel cavity of a PIA plane after it landed at the Karachi Airport on Friday night.
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“Either he has died of freezing cold during the flight or of suffocation,” he added.