Downgraded: 787s on Delta
For those who thought that Delta would soon by flying the Boeing 787, thanks to their takeover of Northwest, prepare for a decade of disappointment. Northwest was an early buyer (in May 2005) of the 787 and was originally scheduled to take delivery between 2008 and 2010. Thanks to delays, that delivery timetable is over two years out of whack. But now Delta has pushed the delivery back even further: Now, Delta will receive the planes between 2020 and 2022. That’s a long deferment.

Upgraded: Ideas for bad Hollywood movies
Downgraded: Congolese carry-on inspections
Headline: “Crocodile on plane kills 19 passengers“… I immediately had visions of a crocodile biting its way through the passenger list. But the truth is more unfortunate. A crocodile hidden in a carry-on bag gets loose, people panic, plane goes out of balance, aircraft crashes. Very sad. And preventable.

Downgraded: Cruise ship pricing
The cruise ship lines are taking a page from the airlines and going a la carte with their services, slowly but surely whittling away at the “all-inclusive” pricing plans that were the hallmark of cruising. Sure, there have been upcharges for shore excursions, but now you have to pay up for certain meals, services, and options. Looks like easyCruise‘s fully-a-la-carte model may not be so farfetched after all. (Thanks, Bill!)

Upgraded: Cross-selling of Hotwire inventory on Expedia
Expedia is now widely selling Hotwire’s hotel inventory as “unpublished rates.” Like on Hotwire, the hotels won’t be listed by name, just by star-level and city zone. Since Expedia and Hotwire are part of the same parent company, I’m surprised it’s taken this long.

Upgraded: The last frontier of domestic inflight wifi
Aircell’s Gogo service has launched inflight wifi within the state of Alaska, for those traveling on Alaska Airlines. For now, the service only exists between Anchorage and Fairbanks, and Alaska Airlines is giving it away for free. It’s slated to be complimentary until the entire state is blanketed with signal availability.

Upgraded: Traveler seat-selection stereotypes
The folks at Hunch have found significant personality and life-experience differences between those who prefer aisle seats vs. window seats. It’s based on poll data. ME, I prefer the window seat, not just because it makes napping easier, because I never tire of looking out the window and staring down from 35,000 feet. And yet, my vita reads much more like the aisle passenger’s. Call me an outlier.

Disney Cruise Line is trying to upgrade its windowless interior cabins with a new feature: the virtual porthole.

High-definition cameras perched on the exterior of the ship will broadcast real-time video to the circular monitors in the cabins.

From a design perspective, it’s pretty clever, and I could imagine other cruise lines following suit if this is successful. Some airlines already offer a camera pointed forward and/or downward on the inflight video. Perhaps this is just the logical extension.

And heck, imagine other faux windows… a hotel with a broom closet room with floor-to-ceiling LCD screens with ocean views?… hmm… alert a venture capitalist!

But leave it to Disney to not leave well enough alone and to “improve” upon the real world:

One twist: Disney says every now and then an animated Disney character such as Peach the starfish from Finding Nemo or even Mickey Mouse may appear in the virtual porthole (superimposed on the live outdoor feed to look as if they were outside the ship).

Take that, natural vistas!

Now, I’m not attracted to cruise travel in the first place, so I’m not a fair judge of this upgrade of windowless rooms. But for those of you who like to cruise, what do you think? Is this a genuine improvement, or is it lipstick on a pig? Vote in the poll, and leave your comments below.

(Reading this via the feed? Click here to vote and comment.)

Downgraded: Bali’s public health strategy
While a vigorous attempt to contain the spread of the H1N1 flu virus is understandable and sensible, Bali is taking the notion to a new level:

Upon landing at Bali’s airport planes will be taken to a remote aircraft parking area where the plane and its passengers will be sprayed with disinfectant. Passengers will then be disembarked and subjected to thermal scanners.

However, the Jakarta Globe is reporting that Bali’s Ngurah Rai International Airport is now requiring all arriving international air passengers to undergo a blood test. Nyoman Murtiyasa, the head of the airport’s health office, quoted in the Jakarta Globe said that all passengers arriving from overseas would be required to take a blood test at the airport.

Thermal scanners? Sure. Blood tests for everyone? Extreme. They make United States passport control seem downright lovable.

Downgraded: Airline uniforms
The airport administrators at Nepal’s Kathmandu Airport are taking an unusual step in an effort to reduce bribery: They are banning pockets in airline personnel uniforms. In a few months, expect reports of secret back-room sewing operations and black market tailoring.

Upgraded: Onboard duty-free, online check-in
Remember when airlines gave you extra miles for online check-in? It’s not coming back, alas. But Virgin Atlantic will give you a coupon for £6 off onboard duty free shopping when spending £30 or more. Whoo?

Downgraded: Jamaican sand wars
500 truckloads of white sand were stolen from a Jamaican resort development site in July 2008. Now, it’s going to trial, and other resort owners are among the accused. (hat tip to Veronica Stoddart)

Upgraded: Overview of disparate carry-on luggage rules
Steven Frischling at Flying with Fish has compiled a great list of 65 airlines’ carry-on baggage restrictions. Be sure to check the rules before your next flight.

Upgraded: Cruises with a theme
Downgraded: Pirates; Conscience
Finally, a cruise concept for the bloodthirsty: A Russian company is sponsoring pirate-hunting cruises. $5000 gets you on board, and you can rent AK-47s and buy ammo. The money quote: “They are worse than the pirates. At least the pirates have the decency to take hostages; these people are just paying to commit murder.”

Upgraded: Eclipse travel
THIS is a concept trip I could do: Special flights to view the upcoming solar eclipse. (Thanks, Kim!)

A few months ago, I was amused when I received a brochure at work for the annual conference and training session of one of the software packages we used. The conference was scheduled on a cruise ship.

While I’m not a “cruise guy,” I thought it was pretty clever of the conference organizers. The training sessions would be on days-at-sea, and lodging and meals were handled by the cruise ship. Coworkers were attracted to the idea of heading to the Bahamas in February, while being “on the clock.” While I didn’t attend, sending others was easy on my budget: The cost of the cruise conference — which included training, oceanview stateroom, and meals — was less than the previous year’s landlubber-conference at a mid-tier hotel in Baltimore (conference fee, hotel, plus per diem; airfare was still a variable).

Apparently, that value proposition is what’s keeping the cruise-conference business …afloat. (Sorry.) While the meetings trade is hurting, the cruise-ship-meetings segment is doing well:

Some cruise lines and travel agents report an uptick in the corporate incentive and meetings business on ships, and they equate it to the value of doing such events on a cruise compared with a land-based option.

“Our business in this area is up, and we have a significant charter looming,” said Howard Moses, president of the Cruise Authority in Atlanta, an agency that specializes in large group cruises. “My sense is that while this business is likely overall headed south, for the time being, cruising may see a boom in this area due to the overall value meetings aboard ships provide as compared to a land program.”
[...]
Agents consistently noted that even if hotels offer groups a break on room rates, the high costs of meals, entertainment and use of hotel audiovisual equipment made them much more expensive.

“A cruise is roughly half the price of a similar land stay,” said Moses. “The hotels really gouge you when it comes to meeting venues.”

As vacationers scale back in light of economic uncertainty, we should expect cruise companies to ramp up the conference angle, in order to make their headcount for sailings.

Is a conference cruise something you’ve experienced, or something you’d want? Hit the comments.

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“We have a captive audience as most cruises last at least 11 days,” said Toni Neumeister, vice president of food and beverage at Crystal Cruise Lines in a recent issue of Wine Business Monthly. Mmm, captive audience. Monopoly provider. And a new policy not allowing any alcoholic beverages on board. If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, then your cruise will have a poor selection of wines with high prices.But the WBM story then proceeds to say that wine on cruise ships has a gentler markup than restaurants with 1.5x cost instead of two or three times. So which is it? Share your experiences in the latest poll!

-Tyler Colman

Upgraded: Carnival’s beverage policy
Carnival Cruise Lines has revised its recently-changed policy prohibiting passengers from bringing beverages onto the ship. “Guests may bring a small quantity of non-alcoholic beverages,” but the booze is still off-limits. Spokesman Vance Gulliksen admitted the company was “monitoring reaction to the ban” (cough, blogs, cough) and changed the policy in response to the grumbling. “Small quantity” is subjective, though, so expect some hassles if you bring multiple bottles of anything. Got an eyewitness report of Carnival’s beverage enforcement in practice? Hit the comments or drop a line.

Downgraded: The accuracy of Ryanair’s scales
Euro-ultra-discounter Ryanair is accused of improperly maintaining its baggage scales, leading to wide variations in the weight measurement of checked bags. Since Ryanair charges £3.30 (about US$6.60) for every kilogram over 15kg, the numbers could add up to real profits. One bag weighed 17kg in Girona, Spain, while only weighing 14.6kg back in the U.K.

Upgraded: The rights of taxi passengers at Minneapolis Airport
Remember the Minneapolis taxi drivers who were refusing to transport anyone they suspected was carrying alcohol? (Those duty-free bags were a dead giveaway.) First, the city’s taxi commission allowed the discrimination, by labeling cabs “wet” or “dry.” Then came reports that the taxis were refusing service to people with seeing eye dogs, too, since these were “unclean.” So the commission created economic disincentives, by forcing cabs to move to the back of the line if they refused a passenger. Now, the city’s taxi commission is finally imposing real penalties — license suspensions — on drivers who discriminate: First offense is 30 days, second offense 2 years. Good. “Cab driver” probably isn’t the right line of work for these guys, anyway.

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