“The last bastion of decent airline customer service begins its inexorable slide towards Ryan-ism.” So writes reader Hamish in response to British Airways’ announcement that they’ll be charging a fee for advanced seat reservation, beginning October 7. If you want to book an aisle, window, or God forbid, emergency exit seat, it’ll cost you. For ANY seat, not just the most desirable ones.

The rates vary by class and distance: £10 per person for European economy, £20 on long-haul economy or short flights in business class, emergency exit row will cost £50 (bookable between 10 and four days before departure), and £60 for long haul trips in business class. No charge for first-class cabins on three-class aircraft.

This isn’t just the “preferred seating” reservation charge that many US airlines offer. It’s indeed more in line with a discount carrier like Spirit or Easyjet.

Mind you, British Airways hasn’t been very friendly in the realm of seating assignments for some time. Back in 2006, I posted about how they limited the window when you could select seats to 24 hour hours before the flight. The new policy opens that window, but at a price.

In the LA Times’ blog, Jane Engle calls out the British Airways PR spin on the fee:

Here’s how British Airways described the new fees in their e-mail to agents: “Effective Oct. 7, 2009, your British Airways customers will have more control over their seating, with our new paid seating option.” I kid you not.

That’s not far from the same language they used in 2006: The ban at the time (of all seat pre-reservations) was “designed to simplify the process of choosing a seat and give all customers more transparency and control of the seating options available on their flight.” Simpler for whom?

British Airways tried to piss on you and tell you it was raining in 2006, and they’re doing it again now. Lufthansa is looking better and better.

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Upgraded: Job applications on Virgin Atlantic
The unnamed author of this complaint letter to Virgin Atlantic, who ranted against the food served on board his flight from Mumbai to Heathrow, has been offered a new job: food tester for Virgin. Call me biased, but I still like Robert P.’s letter to Midwest Airlines better. (”You have chunks in your beer.”) Hey Robert, get any job offers lately?

Upgraded: Air Canada’s forms and applications
Remember the requirement that overweight passengers on Canadian airlines need to get a doctor’s note in order to get a second seat at no additional fee? The form that doctors must fill out is priceless. It’s practically designed to make both doctor and patient uncomfortable and embarrassed. To wit:

Have your patient sit on a paper covered examination table. Rest a ruler or straightedge on the left side of patient at the widest point (hip or waist) as shown on diagram below.

Mark the touch point between the ruler and the paper as Point A. Rest a ruler or straightedge on the right side of patient at the widest point (hip or waist). Mark the touch point between the ruler and the paper as Point B. Measure the distance between Point A and Point B. Indicate this measurement above under d) Surface Measurement.

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Upgraded: Extended stay hotels, again
Hilton is adding a new chain to its lineup: Home2 will be a new extended-stay brand, with an intended price point around $100 a night (less than the existing Homewood Suites brand in the Hilton family). The development cost is estimated at $70-75,000 per room. Launch locations are in Alabaster, AL, Baltimore/White Marsh, Charlotte, Elko, NV, Gadsden, AL (Alabama, again!), Jacksonville, NC (not FL); New York City, and three locations in San Antonio.

Upgraded: Ease of investing in a money-losing industry
Warren Buffett once said, “…if a capitalist had been present at Kittyhawk back in the early 1900s, he should have shot Orville Wright. He would have saved his progeny money.” Well, the assume that ol’ Warren isn’t putting money into in the new exchange-traded fund that invests in airline stocks, including 30% in non-US airlines. The symbol for the Claymore/NYSE Arca Airlines ETF: FAA. How clever. But will the folks at Proshares come up with a double-short airline ETF?

Upgraded: The return of all-business class New York-London flights
Maxjet, Silverjet, and Eos may be gone, but British Airways is bringing twice-daily all-business class flights between London and New York back to the air. The twists: 1) The service is on the smallest plane yet to fly the route, an Airbus A318. Not ‘19. Not ‘20. Forget ‘21. ‘18. 2) Instead of Heathrow, Gatwick, Luton, or Stansted, this flight will use the very centrally located London City Airport, which thusfar has only been used by regional jets to short-range destinations. 3) They’ll allow wireless text messaging and e-mail on board, but not phone calls. (hat tip Jared Blank)

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Airline employees in the UK have gotten canned for making derogatory comments about their airline’s passengers on Facebook.

A group of Virgin Atlantic employees criticized the airline’s jet engine maintenance, complained about cockroaches on planes, and referred to passengers as “chavs.” This led to the firing of 13 cabin crew. The airline’s statement included:

Virgin Atlantic can confirm that 13 members of its cabin crew will be leaving the company after breaking staff policies due to totally inappropriate behaviour.
[...]
Following a thorough investigation, it was found that all 13 staff participated in a discussion on the networking site Facebook, which brought the company into disrepute and insulted some of our passengers.

What are “chavs,” the non-British readers may ask?

Chav, or Charv/Charva, is a mainly derogatory slang term in the United Kingdom for a person whose lifestyle, branded casual clothing (especially if counterfeit), speech and/or mannerisms are perceived to be common, proletarian and vulgar. ‘Chav’ is often used as a stereotype to refer to white, poorly educated, aggressive youths, but youth and aggression are not the defining attributes of a ‘chav’. The term is similar to America’s ‘white trash’ stereotype.

Not to be left out, British Airways ground staff at Gatwick were also found to be using the same term to describe their passengers on Facebook. Added bonus: “They also have little time for celebrity passengers and their ire is also drawn by ’stupid American accents.’” Delightful!

Complaining about customers is the great pastime of thousands of workers. Witness websites like NotAlwaysRight.com. But participants in those sites tend to be more careful — no names are named. By doing this on Facebook, Virgin and BA employees were sticking their necks out there.

These are not exactly positive model employees, clearly. Having said that, is criticizing the company a firing offense? The cabin crew may have been perfectly pleasant with their passengers, while they seethed quietly inside. So should the company have fired them for something they did in their free time?

The question goes to you: Did the company go too far in firing these crewmembers for the comments they made online? Or does the employee’s obligation to maintain decorum extend to the online space?

Hit the comments!

Downgraded: New York aviation landmarks
There are a handful of routes where pilots use land markers to guide their approach for landing. New York’s LaGuardia is one of them, and they’re about to lose a key marker: Shea Stadium, the home of the Mets, is being demolished. The use of these physical markers, seen from the sky, is kind of quaint. I recall flying into LaGuardia (on a different approach path) and listening to Channel 9 on United (which lets you listen in on the cockpit conversations with the tower). The tower’s instructions were something like “Turn left at the Statue of Liberty and fly up the river.” Awesome.

Downgraded: Flights to Pakistan
A note to any passengers flying to Pakistan: British Airways has indefinitely canceled its flights to Islamabad, in the wake of the Marriott hotel bombing. BA’s FAQ page for passengers with flights to Pakistan is here. Joe Brancatelli suggests that travelers to the region avoid US and UK airlines and hotels, and consider companies that cater to Japanese travelers instead.

Upgraded: Elite lines at American Airlines… and Southwest
American Airlines is rolling out the red carpets for their elite frequent flyers. Literally. Starting September 30, at select airports, you’ll find check-in lines, security lines, and boarding lines. (Before anyone gets upset: The TSA doesn’t control the security lines, the airports and airlines do. See here for a defense of the process.) I’m not frequently on board AA planes, so I’m not an elite with them. But I’m shocked that this isn’t already out there for AA flyers. Other airlines have been doing this for years. Years! More shocking, though also, not entirely: Southwest is rolling out elite lines, too.

Upgraded: Continental, caving, brings back the 500-mile minimum
An anonymous commenter brought it up early, and it’s since confirmed: Continental is reversing itself and granting passengers a minimum of 500 frequent flyer miles on flights under that distance.

Downgraded: Uses of college budgets
I know that baggage fees suck, but is refunding students who fly back to school their $15 or $25 baggage fees really the best use of college funds?

Downgraded: “Fakeproof” passports
I love stories like this: British authorities touted the safety and security of their “e-passport,” effectively a passport with an embedded radio-frequency chip. Hacker-proof, they claimed. It was cracked, cloned, and altered within minutes. Minutes. Not even hours, much less days, or weeks. Minutes. The computer researcher proved his point by changing the data to make the passport appear to be Osama bin Laden’s, complete with passport photo. Just awesome. (Recall that, as posted a couple years ago, the easiest way to destroy the chip inside your passport, if you’re wary of RFID scanners stealing your personal information, is with a hammer.)

Downgraded: American Airlines upgrades
A downgraded upgrade? Indeed. American recently rolled out copayment fees for many of its upgrade awards. See the changes on the award chart here. More evidence of the devaluation of miles, if you needed a reminder.

Upgraded: European booking war hilarity
Britain’s Thomson Holidays, part of the TUI Group, came under heat for offering vacation rentals in Greece or Turkey for £14 a week. At £2 a night, that’s some cheap sleeps. Why was this problematic? Competitors complained that Thomson was changing customer expectations, causing travelers to hold out and wait for the rock-bottom room rate, instead of booking early. Sounds like crybaby talk to me.

Upgraded: Alliance dalliance
It’s not really a surprise, given the urge to merge that’s rampant in aviation today, but American Airlines, British Airways, and Iberia are looking to link up. They’re already alliance partners within Oneworld, and this isn’t a merger (yet), but the three airlines are trying to get antitrust immunity, so they can collude and set fares together. There’s really no benefit to consumers in this, especially if you fly between London and the United States. AA and BA dominate those routes, and the companies want to expand their price-setting power.

Upgraded: Google Maps’ sense of humor
Remember how Google Maps gave directions from the U.S. to Europe which included the instruction to swim across the Atlantic? Those jokesters recently did it again, suggesting you kayak across the Pacific Ocean. (They took it down, alas.)

Upgraded: Your chance to speak your mind on aircraft interiors
Friend of the blog Addison Schonland is doing some market research on aircraft interiors, and what you want to see inside those aluminum tubes. Take his poll, which will hopefully filter through to airline designers and execs attending the Aircraft Interiors Expo show next month.

Upgraded: Stormy weather
Priceline is once again rolling out a cute promotion, which promises to pay the cost of your vacation package if your trip is rained out, through November 16, 2008. The “Sunshine Guarantee” kicks in if a half inch of measured rainfall is present on HALF of the days of your trip. That’s a lot of rain, so don’t count on any payout. Kerala monsoon holiday, anyone?

British Airways is buying the last surviving standalone all-business class airline to cross the Atlantic. L’Avion, which flies from Newark to Paris-Orly, is being bought by BA and incorporated into their OpenSkies subisidiary.

The move comes as a bit of a surprise to me, since L’Avion and OpenSkies just started codesharing a few weeks ago. I would have expected that relationship to progress for at least few quarters before moving to full-on merger. But here we are.

The deal comes with a £54M pricetag, but about half of that covers the cash L’Avion has on hand.

British Airways plans to merge L’Avion into its new OpenSkies subsidiary, but that can only be a good thing, if recent reviews hold up.

But most importantly, the fact that L’Avion now has a major backer (with a meaningful frequent flyer program connected to a major alliance, I might add), it takes an element of risk off the table for those afraid to take the plunge with a standalone carrier. Especially after the spectacular failures of Maxjet, Eos, and Silverjet, it’s good to know that L’Avion tickets are highly likely to be backed by alternative itineraries, should a flight be cancelled or a route eliminated.

And, as we’ve seen, L’Avion’s service is a decent product in its own right. Flights in business class for $1499? Book away.

Related:
- Survival strategies of the all-business class airlines
- Inside L’Avion, part un: a good seat but a shortage of fluids and information
- Inside L’Avion, part deux: the airline that is betwixt and between
- L’Avion customer service: Meet your pilot and purser!

Upgraded: Evidence that airlines are unwilling to break the status quo
The Air Transport Association, fresh off its successful lawsuit that overturned the Passenger Bill of Rights in New York, is threatening to sue the Department of Transportation over the proposed introduction of congestion pricing at the busiest U.S. airports. The airlines will do what they can to stop the proposal, they say. So what’s the airlines’ solution to overbooked airports? Cue the crickets…

Upgraded: Olympic condoms
With the summer games coming up, Chinese hotels are stocking up on condoms. Yes, really. “The condoms shall not be used as evidence of prostitution and whoring.” Well thank goodness! But will they be found in the minibar?

Downgraded: Commemorative British Airways newsletters
Upgraded: FedEx
Five years, and billions of capital spent, and the Terminal 5 fiasco at London Heathrow continues to be a headache for all involved. Last week’s grand opening of the posh new terminal was marred by the now well-publicized luggage handling failure. 20,000 checked bags still need to be reunited with their owners, and British Airways is calling in the cavalry: FedEx. Another reason that BA has decided to scrap a commemorative in-house newsletter celebrating the terminal opening.

Upgraded: Single travelers in Delta coach
Downgraded: Ghetto upgraders
Delta is buying Thompson Solutions’ “Cozy Suites” for its widebody jets, to be installed in 2010. The seats are a little odd, with a staggered configuration with no two people sitting precisely next to each other. More armrest space is one perk with this approach. Good for solo travelers, bad for couples and families. But even worse for anyone hoping to get a “ghetto upgrade” — an entire row of seats to oneself, allowing you to lift the armrests and stretch across. It’s also somewhat reminiscent of the alternating forward-backward-forward seating that was floated just about a year ago. But it’s thinking differently, and I like that. (via Cranky)

Upgraded: Your chance to vent at the TSA
Homeland Security first got a blog, but now the TSA has one too. And it’s not just staffed by the man at the top. They asked for your honest opinions. Give ‘em hell. Just keep it civil. (Thanks, Stephen!)

Upgraded: Nude Aviation
Who could forget Naked Air, the chartered “airline” that transported “naturists” to sunny destinations. Now, a German travel agency will make naked flights a regular option. But for those longing for a long overnight trip in the buff, you’ll have to keep waiting. It’s just a short trip within Germany. (Seriously, why bother?)

Upgraded: Business travel blogging
Hirsute frequent flyer kingpin Randy Petersen has gathered a number of blogs related to business travel into one place — BoardingArea.com — and you’ll find Upgrade: Travel Better syndicated there, too. You’ll find some familiar names there as well, plus some spunky newcomers. The site’s launch was featured in the New York Times, too, including a photo of the hirsute proprietor. Check it out.

Upgraded: Hotel thieves
If you’ve ever stolen stuff from a hotel room, you can return those towels, glasses, bathrobes, and … punch bowls? In any case, if you’ve been a pilferer from the Renaissance Mayflower Hotel, your day of amnesty is here. Bring back the contraband, no questions asked. (Thanks Dr. Vino!)

Upgraded: JetBlue’s alliance prospects
Perhaps you remember my prediction from February 6 last year, that jetBlue and Aer Lingus would try to sync up in an alliance? Looks like the prediction was right, according to WSJ reports. But Aer Lingus might find some competition from jetBlue shareholder Lufthansa, who is also looking into an alliance of sorts with the ‘blue.

Upgraded: Short runways, long flights, 2-year old sarcasm
British Airways has announced another luxury initiative, aimed squarely at its all-business class competitors. The new all-business class service will fly from London’s City airport — a tiny airport with a short runway — to an as-yet unnamed New York area airport. The flight will feature only 36 seats on an Airbus A318. Not A319. Not A320. A318. The shortest in the family, and the biggest plane legally permitted to depart from London-City. The Cranky Flier has a nice post on the logistics of the proposed service. But jeez, it looks like my sarcastic comments from April 2006 were taken seriously: “What’s next?: Will someone determine that London City airport needs nonstop business class service to White Plains or Islip?” I guess life imitates snark?

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Upgraded: Crash landing with skill and aplomb
Bad news: A crash landing. Good news: No fatalities. Crash landings are no one’s idea of a good time, but when a Boeing 777 loses all power mid-air on final approach, and the plane crash-lands at London’s Heathrow, with no fatalities, that’s some fine aviating. Still way too early to know what happened, but hats off to the pilots for bringing a powerless hunk of metal to the ground without any lives lost. We can all be thankful for that.

Upgraded: Wine on US Airways
US Airways is rolling out new wine on board. The choice: Beringer. I guess it’s better than the private-labeled Chilean plonk they were pouring. (Thanks to Dr. Vino, unsurprisingly.)

Downgraded: Your tax dollars
You may have caught this a couple weeks ago, but there’s been an interesting discussion of the federal government’s “Essential Air Service” program. Bottom line: It’s not that essential, and it’s doubtful that communities are really benefiting much from this. See both Cranky and Evan Sparks for thoughtful critiques. Evan suggests that, if you’re going to subsidize air travel at all, you consider the Small Community Air Service Development program instead. “Huh?” you say? Go read the posts.

Upgraded: Air taxi and microjet life chances
The microjet concept, which I’ve been skeptical of (no bathrooms on board!), was on the rocks. Now, Eclipse Aviation, one of the leaders in this lagging field, got an infusion of fresh capital. We’ll have the microjet / very-light-jet (VLJ) concept to kick around for a few more years, it seems.

Upgraded: Merger odds
Sigh. It’s confirmed: Delta is in talks with United and Northwest, to discuss a possible merger. I continue to root against these mergers, as they’ll raise prices, create mayhem, and improve nothing except the CEO’s paycheck.

(Photo credit: Fair use is made here of a reduced-size crop from a larger unattributed image on bbc.co.uk.)

The ink barely dried on the demise of Maxjet, when this report in the New York Times hints at the next premium class carrier to try its hand at the cross-Atlantic luxury market. But it’s no venture-capital-backed startup. As mentioned last summer, it’s British Airways.

Much of the attention will be focused on British Airways, which is expected to introduce a “mini-airline” on Jan. 9. The discount start-up, developed under the code name Project Lauren, plans to begin service in May, flying a Boeing 757 configured mostly with premium-class seats between a European city (Paris and Brussels are the leading candidates) and New York (either Kennedy International Airport or Newark Liberty International Airport).

People involved with Project Lauren said the name of the new airline is likely to be Open Skies, a nod to a new agreement that takes effect in late March and greatly expands the ability of international airlines to choose new routes between Europe and the United States.

Historically, sub-airlines are a problematic proposition, because they end up competing against the parent company. And while many subsidiaries are on the discount end of the spectrum (Continental Lite, Delta’s Song, United’s Ted) this is a little different, as it’s aiming at premium passengers.

But what’s interesting is one word in the quote above: “mostly.” As in: “flying a Boeing 757 configured mostly with premium-class seats.” That means we’re looking at some economy seating on those flights.

Which, in turn, raises the question: Why bother? Why create a full-fledged multi-class airline, when a multi-class parent airline — BA — already exists? The answer may be labor costs. (Or, if you prefer, labour.) Pilots for the new airline would operate under a different (presumably less expensive) contract than regular British Airways pilots. A-ha.

So perhaps this is all just a way for BA to skirt existing contracts and pay their staff less money to do the same work they did before.

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