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Upgraded: Government bloggin’, government surveillance
Move over, Kip Hawley! Now there’s something bloggier! Hawley’s boss, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, has started a blog. No, wait, it’s a “leadership journal.” This blog leadership journal has nothing but eyerolling snark for that self-aggrandizing title. Maybe he could show some actual leadership by answering why the government has been collecting and preserving all sorts of minutiae about travelers who aren’t on anyone’s watch list. (Hat tip to Benet Wilson for pointing to the DHS blog. Yes, blog. We shall never refer to it as a leadership journal again.)

Downgraded: OneWorld cooperation
American Airlines AAdvantage members will no longer earn elite-qualifying elite-bonus frequent flyer miles when they fly on oneworld partner British Airways. Lovely. Remind me why we have alliances, again? Updated: Several readers have written in (and the Global Traveller has written in comments) that the linked article by Tim Winship is wrong: Elite bonus miles are cut. Elite qualifying miles remain. I note that smartertravel.com pulled the article down from their site. Thanks to all who wrote in!

Upgraded: Motel 6’s reputation
Arthur Frommer offers this tip on finding “a stunning value for the price” in hotel accommodations: Look for ones that feature an interior corridor. “Stunning value”? That’s really quite an endorsement. I appreciate the sentiment — and yes, those with interior corridors are newer than those with exterior corridors — but isn’t it still just a Motel 6? The walls are thin and the bed isn’t that comfy. Sure, it’s better than some alternatives, but “stunning value”? I’ve stayed at Hyatts for $37 a night via Priceline. THAT’S “stunning value.”

Upgraded: In-flight service, Sesame Street style
Next flight, remember: Your flight could always be worse. You could end up with Grover as your flight attendant. Video below… (via FlyAwayCafe)

The TSA is proposing a system that would allow travelers to book a specific time to pass through security checkpoints, much like they would make a reservation to dine at a restaurant. The system is designed to guarantee a short wait and create a “smoother flow.”

I’ll admit, I didn’t see this one coming, especially not from the TSA. But is it really a good idea?

Travelers reserving checkpoint slots probably would have to arrive earlier than usual, perhaps by as little as 20 to 30 minutes, [TSA Director Kip] Hawley said. They also would probably have to pay — either a fee for each reservation or an annual subscription for unlimited reservations at participating airports.

Frequent business travelers would happily show up earlier if they “had a specific time at the checkpoint and weren’t going to have to waste time standing in line,” Hawley said.

Why would a person with a reservation need to be at the airport even earlier than before? If the TSA is giving away off-peak reservations, then those “slots” are already available to those who simply show up earlier. No reservation required.

Further, is it philosophically wrong for the TSA to sell access to security? Until now, the TSA hasn’t gotten into the crowd control business at all: TSA doesn’t control the lines, they’ve argued — just the security checkpoints themselves. The airlines and airports control the lines, which is how elite-security lines are justified. (Rightly, in my view.) That would be changing, with this plan.

Arguably, this is also a shot across the bow of services like Clear, which purport to get people through security faster, or at least get them to the front of the line faster. But for this really to work, and really appeal to frequent travelers, the TSA needs to offer reservations during peak times, with a separate line for people with reservations. I don’t think the TSA’s resources or the airports’ physical space will allow for that. But who knows.

So I wonder if Kip Hawley is right, and business travelers would happily show up earlier at a specified time if they knew they would pass through security more quickly. In theory, it leaves you more time to do work at the gate or in the lounge, but you’re still at the airport longer than otherwise.

And thus the question goes to you:

If you’re willing to pay, how much? Is this a reservation you’d make? Hit the comments!

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Whom or what would they kill to get an upgrade?
Nepal Airlines mechanics sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, after they just couldn’t quite fix the problems in their Boeing 757. How many goats does it take to get a 757 to arrive on time at LAX? Slaughtering livestock isn’t limited to Himalayan aviation: Longtime readers may recall that Turkish Airlines maintenance workers killed a camel to celebrate the disposal of a regional jet last year.

$100K isn’t a good flight value
I know it was for charity. But paying $100,000 to fly on the inaugural Airbus A380 flight on Singapore Airlines seems a bit much. Most importantly, will they earn miles?

Shocker: Motel 6 really won’t leave the light on for you
To conserve energy, the ultra-budget chain doesn’t really leave lights on. So says their folksy pitchman Tom Bodett. So you know it’s true.

Delta’s apparently not afraid of the competition
Inside baseball, maybe, but still: Looking over the blogroll at Delta’s blog, I noticed that they link to their competitors: Southwest’s blog. That’s pretty gutsy for a corporate blog!

United names dates and planes for new business class rollout
The first plane to receive the long-awaited upgrade of 180-degree lie-flat seats in the business class cabin: a Boeing 767. It’s scheduled to travel between Washington and Frankfurt on October 29, 2007. Saver awards are unavailable at press time.

US Air Force tags nuclear warheads to wrong airport
Next time your luggage heads to Ketchikan, Alaska instead of Kansas City, take heart: The Air Force does it too. A B-52 bomber mistakenly carried six nuclear warheads from Minot, North Dakota to Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana. Oops. Just better hope it doesn’t end up at the Unclaimed Baggage Center.

Courts: Entering an airport means you’re subject to searches
This is old news, but I admit I just got wind of it now. If you’re at an airport in the U.S., you can’t turn around and leave the premises if you want to avoid being searched. “Citing threats of terrorism, the court ruled passengers give up all rights to be free of warrantless searches once a ‘passenger places hand luggage on a conveyor belt for inspection’ or ‘passes though a magnetometer.’ […] In 1973, the circuit court ruled that airport searches were valid ‘only if they recognize the right of a person to avoid search by electing not to board the aircraft.’” Not anymore. Offer to leave all you want, they can still search you. For the law-dogs out there, the case is United States v. Aukai, 04-10226. (via Wired’s Threat Level)

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Upgraded, finally: Lufthansa economy-class entertainment
Lufthansa’s calculus has always seemed to be, “Should we give placate people in economy class with decent in-seat entertainment, or should we liquor them up for free? Let’s go with the liquor!” (Other airlines, say, Virgin Atlantic, have managed to do both, but let’s set that aside…) They’re finally reconsidering the entertainment options, if only on three routes. Still: Thank the heavens. My favorite real-world example of bad Lufthansa inflight video, broadcast on those overhead screens: A decade-old episode of the German crime drama “Derrick,” with an episode title that translated to “Rose on a Dump.” I’m not making this up. (Couldn’t they have shown the episode “Pornocchio” instead?)

Upgraded: Airbus A380 delivery dates
Singapore Airlines, the first airline to take delivery of its Airbus A380 mega-jumbo, is officially taking delivery of the plane on October 15, 2007. The first flight, from Singapore to Sydney, is scheduled for October 25.

Downgraded: The real Virgin America story
Virgin America knows how to play the PR game. No news there. But when the chips are down, they still need to figure out their schedule and customer service. But hey, the entertainment is decent. Mark Johnson of Jaunted flew a PR-free flight with Virgin America last week, and has the full report.

Downgraded: Charlotte security
Upgraded: Charlotte’s ability to bounce back
Charlotte Airport TSA agents let someone through security without screening. Flights delayed, passengers inconvenienced, etc., etc. But one thing I can tell you: The delays weren’t long-lasting. Later that same day, I caught a flight from Charlotte to LaGuardia, and it was all fine.

Downgraded: Hotel bathroom amenities
The China recalls keep rolling in. And now, hotel amenities are due for the seemingly inevitable report of poison. Gilchrist and Soames toothpaste is conveniently flavored with antifreeze. (I’ve seen G&C products, but never their toothpaste. My loss.) Better check that bag or box of mini-soaps, shampoos, etc. that the frequent traveler inevitably has stashed in their home. Toss the ‘paste.

Downgraded: Bellsouth/AT&T
It’s hard to blog without an internet connection. The BellSouth idiots first mistakenly shut down our dial tone but kept the DSL running. We called for service. They came, turned on dial tone, and shut down the DSL. Thanks. Great. Not once — not once — has BellSouth (now merged and rebranded AT&T) gotten one thing right on this phone line on the first try.

Last summer, Raed Jarrar was harassed by jetBlue employees for wearing a shirt with Arabic lettering on the front. In his ACLU-led legal team’s words, here’s what happened:

JetBlue and a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) official, identified as “Inspector Harris,” would not let Raed Jarrar board his flight at John F. Kennedy Airport until he agreed to cover his t-shirt, which read “We Will Not Be Silent” in English and Arabic script. Harris told Jarrar that it is impermissible to wear an Arabic shirt to an airport and equated it to a “person wearing a t-shirt at a bank stating, ‘I am a robber.’”

Lovely metaphor. Added bonus: Jarrar says that, after he relented and donned an additional shirt, jetBlue tore up his boarding pass, which had him seated near the front, and gave him a new boarding pass to sit at the very back of the plane. How nice of them — and how symbolic.

Jarrar threatened to bring a lawsuit. Consider it brought.

A discrimination lawsuit charges federal officials and JetBlue Airways with racial profiling for refusing to let an Iraqi man board an August 2006 flight at Kennedy International Airport because he wore a T-shirt inscribed with an Arabic phrase.

The incident is part of a discriminatory pattern at U.S. airports since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, with officials targeting people perceived to be of Arab descent — particularly those displaying their ethnic background or religious faith, two civil liberties groups said Thursday in filing the lawsuit.

I say go get ‘em, Raed. It’s important to push back against fearmongering hysteria that erodes our civil liberties. He’s doing us all a favor, and representing what the country really stands for, by standing up to this sort of small-minded censorship.

Related:
- Would an anti-Tony Blair shirt get me in trouble in the U.S.?
- Short hops - August 23, 2006 - JetBlue rewards one flyer a free t-shirt (in exchange for his civil liberties)

TSA agents apparently want more respect from the traveling public, and their white-shirted uniforms are being replaced this fall with more police-like regalia. The blue shirt, the badge… makes it a little harder to mouth off when you see that uniform, eh smart guy?

Beyond the cosmetic change, you’ll also face some changes if you’re traveling through America’s airports. As of this past weekend, you’ll need to pull “large video game consoles and DVD players” out of your carry-ons for separate screening, much as it’s been necessary to pull out your laptop for a while now.

Who travels with their Xbox? I guess some people do.

“Small electronic items, such as cellphones, MP3 players, iPods and portable video game systems do not have to be removed from passenger’s carrying cases.” …but how many frontline TSA agents will be requiring those items to be removed anyway? Who’s making book on that?

The new rules went into effect on Friday without prior warning, and some airlines sent out alerts to their customers.

How is it that the TSA can impose new restrictions with no advance warning, and yet it takes several weeks for long-standing restrictions on lighters to be rescinded? The argument that it takes a while for information to disseminate should apply to both new restrictions and rule revisions, don’t you think? I just don’t get it.

More things to pull out of your luggage generally means slower security lines. It’ll be a few days before I travel again, so in the interim, reports from the field are welcome. Is there a noticeable change on the front lines?

(image via Benet Wilson’s Towers & Tarmacs)

The TSA has ruled that lighters will once again be legal to take onto airplanes, effective August 4. Not Zippo lighters or other “torch” lighters, just “common” lighters.

Amazing. Bottled water is still illegal, but a container containing a flammable liquid is permissible. That’s freedom, baby.

And why the two week delay? Do lighters’ magical terrorist powers somehow expire at midnight on August 3?

Sounds like a big step forward in the expansion plans of all-smoking airline Smintair!

Speaking of Smintair, the tobbaco-laden German/British airline with the absurd claim that its air will be healthier than nonsmoking airlines’, looks like it’s actually making headway. They recently put up a timetable (pdf) that has them flying Dusseldorf to Tokyo and on to Shanghai starting October 28. The countdown is on.

The Smintair website remains one of my favorites, for sheer comedy. Everything from the poorly translated English, to the 1970s porn-esque styling, to nuggets like this line from the employment page: “Allergics to any kind of smoke or aviation specific conditions, militant Anti-Smokers, or people with other social deficiencies are kindly asked to not apply.”

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Regular readers know how frustrated I have been with inconsistent liquid-ban enforcement and the subsequent confusion over duty free purchases that ensues, like the finger-pointing contradiction-fest I experienced in Munich a while back. Travelers changing planes on multi-leg international flights (say, flying from New York to Frankfurt and on to Johannesburg) were especially hard-hit, with several different layers of regulation hitting them and their liquid cargo.

For the traveler with liquids in tow, two items may be of interest.

First, the European Commission adopted new rules for travelers changing planes in the EU member states, plus Switzerland, Norway, or Iceland. If the airport where you purchased your duty-free liquor adheres to “the two ICAO state letters (1 December 2006 and 30 March 2007), which set standards for tamper evident bags and security levels for supply chains to airport retailing,” then your precious cargo will not be confiscated by European airport personnel or law enforcement authorities. This effectively means that the European Commission now recognizes the security procedures of other airports as acceptable and adequate.

Of course, the problem is, how do you know that your departure airport fits the bill? And it may take some time before the new rules filter down to the people who enforce these rules on the ground. Still: A step forward for common sense.

Second, a reminder from Upgrade: Travel Better contributor Tyler Colman on the rules regarding duty-free limits on wine (or other alcohol, for that matter.) Very often, airport and airline staff unfortunately tell passengers about the “limits” on liquor, when in fact they’re referring only to the duty-free limits. As if the duty free limit is all you’re allowed to carry into the country. Not so!

If you’re flying back to the United States, you can carry in several cases of wine if you like, assuming 1) that you check it as baggage, packed nicely in a padded wine box, 2) that you have receipts indicating the purchase price of the wine, and 3) that you declare the wine to the customs agents when you arrive, and on your declaration form. You can bring plenty back from your travels, if you are willing to pay the taxes, but you only get very limited amounts duty-free. And how much are those taxes? 3%. THREE! That’s nothing! And travelers report that customs agents can’t be bothered to fill out the paperwork on such small amounts, so you might get off with a duty-free case or two.

Of course, carrying that much back means you’re dragging boxes through airports and possibly paying the airline an excess baggage charge. But don’t let anyone tell you you can’t take it with you.

Cheers!

Update:
Reader Steve writes in to point out that I glossed over an important point in Dr. Vino’s post: The rules on how much alcohol you can bring into the country are also set by the state where you land. A snippet from Steve’s e-mail, with a story of zealous liquor enforcement, below:

Your posting on booze coming back into the US is true, but incomplete.

While it is true that the Feds place no restriction on the amount of alcohol you can bring in some states do (or at least used to). So if your first port of entry is NY and NY State only allows two bottle (which used to be the case) then you can be forced to throw everything out beyond that.

That is exactly what happened to me, however it was almost 20 years ago and it is likely (though not certain) that the rules have changed. But since states are still firmly in control of these laws if you intend on bringing in more than the federal limit it would be prudent to call the ABC of the state you will be clearing customs in and ask what the regulations are.

Thanks, Steve!

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Downgraded: Odds of seeing pole-dancer art on London-Gatwick approach
First it was the Kentucky Fried Chicken ad featuring a Colonel Sanders image visible from space. Now, a website’s advertisement featuring a giant chalk outline of a poledancing stripper is causing controversy in the UK. The image, in a field below a common approach path for flights to London’s Gatwick Airport, is only visible from the air, but is still causing an affront. It’s likely to be removed soon. But thanks to news reports and posts like this one far more people will see it online than ever would see it from a plane. (Yes, I’m guilty of supporting their marketing machine… I know…)

Upgraded: Kayak.com introduces alliance-based search
Aggregator Kayak.com tweaked its search tools ever so slightly, allowing you to sort by alliance (Star, oneworld, Skyteam) and not just by airline. But you can only sort it that way AFTER you’ve the basic search. (You can search preferred airlines up front, so why not alliances? Meh.) Orbitz has allowed alliance search for some time, but this is the first aggregator that I’m aware of that’s doing this.

Upgraded: Hertz’s environmentalist credibility
Last September, Hertz rolled out its “Green Collection” of rental cars and I was thoroughly unimpressed. Buick LaCrosse? Come on. Where were the hybrids? Well, it took nine months, but Hertz finally got around to buying more genuinely eco-friendly vehicles, with a purchase of 3,400 Toyota Priuses (or is that Prii?). That’s more like it.

Upgraded: Wine in coach. Viva jetBlue!
JetBlue is serving up some slightly more interesting wines than usual the usual coach fare. Thanks to a partnership with Best Cellars, the airline is giving their all-economy class passengers a slightly better guzzle. Choosing wine for coach can be challenging, since it has to be a) cheap, b) in tiny ready-for-sale bottles, unlike in premium cabins, and c) pair-able with a wider range of foods. I hadn’t thought about that last one before: After all, the wine in business and first can presumably be paired with the menu (though that’s not always obvious). But in coach, a wine demands “versatility in pairing with a wide assortment of airport meals people bring on planes, including pan pizzas from Pizza Hut and Taco Bell burritos with chicken and mole sauce.” (Taco Bell has a mole sauce? Really?) Either way, good for jetBlue, and good for their wine-imbibing passengers. (Thanks Tyler!)

Downgraded: US Airways right to serve any wine
Unlike jetBlue… US Airways, which got into trouble for selling booze without a license in New Mexico a few months ago, and which has been serving the sauce with a temporary scrip since then, was denied an extension of its license this past week. Tough break. BYOB, anyone?

Upgraded: Marriott; Downgraded: Ian Schrager (or is it the other way around?)
Look, I happen to like Marriott hotels for what they are: Consistent, clean, competent, and overall comfortable spaces to spend the night. (4 C’s!) They usually don’t have too much bling or pizazz, though some of their big-city properties have that 1980s glitz that has an odd appeal to my mid-to-late-30s, graying-gracefully, receding-hairline self. So when I hear that they’re teaming up with Ian Schrager, king of the boutique hotel, to create a new boutique-y brand, I’m skeptical. It seems like a late-to-the-game attempt to create a “W” chain within a chain. If it adds a little funk to the Marriott decor, great. (Bye bye brass fixtures, please!) But it also smacks of desperation. And isn’t Ian Schrager past this? Seems like he’s here to cash in while the cashin’ in is good.

Upgraded: WestJet’s honesty; Downgraded: Little old ladies’ pensions
Canada’s WestJet (hearts) little old ladies. Not because they’re nice grandmas, but because they’re walking piggy banks, and the airline’s got a hammer. Consider this nugget from the airline’s president:

“There would be a little old lady coming up and she’d have a table and she’d have a chair and she’d have six or seven bags and we’d say ‘Yeah, take it on the plane. No problem.’ Now we’re actually going to charge a little bit of money for taking that table and chair and those extra bags on board. And that incremental revenue that we extract from that little old lady is very, very profitable to us. Some 85% goes to the bottom line.”

Good for him, for saying publicly what other airline executives discuss privately. So I guess the business traveler isn’t the company profit center; the rarely-traveled senior citizen is. Bank it.

Upgraded: Amputees and their TSA experience
Got a prosthetic? The TSA wants to make your security checkpoint experience kinder and gentler. Good! On the other hand…

Downgraded: Sippy cups, and TSA cinema verité
A former Secret Service agent reports that she was harassed when she accidentally carried her child’s sippy cup of water through security. Stupid enough, but it gets more absurd: The TSA actually released a silent security tape of the incident, labeled “Mythbusters,” in their own defense. Feel free to view the videos, read the incident report, review the embarrassed mother’s story, and decide for yourself.

Upgraded: Demolition
Let me make myself perfectly clear: I want to help destroy this hotel. I’ve never been to it, but I want to help Spanish hotel chain NH Hoteles wreck the Alcala Hotel in Madrid. The company is holding a contest to see who can take a sledgehammer to the joint. Only 30 lucky few will get to play rockstar-cum-wrecking ball. Let the spirit of Keith Moon guide you.

I’m not sure why this isn’t getting more play, but the TSA is rolling out liquid explosives detection equipment at six airports. But don’t throw away those 1-quart plastic bags just yet. All the existing prohibitions on liquids, and all the procedures for bagging and scanning your 3-ounce liquid containers, are still very much in place.

This hit the news last week, but our inside man at the TSA nudged us out of complacency with this reminder:

On Tuesday (22/05), the TSA announced operational pilot testing at a number of large airports of the technology capable of screening sealed bottled liquids for explosives. The first unit ready for testing is the ICx Technologies Fido PaxPoint. Because the technology has performed well in initial testing, TSA anticipates deploying up to 200 bottled liquid scanners to the nation’s busiest airports by October. The device is currently being used by the U.S. government domestically and overseas, but this is the first time the system is being deployed in an airport environment. Bottled liquid scanners have been or will be piloted at Miami (MIA), Newark Liberty (EWR), Detroit (DTW), Los Angeles (LAX), Las Vegas (LAS) and Boston Logan (BOS).

The handheld ICx scanner can supposedly sense the presence of explosives or components for making an explosive device through glass, plastic, or metal.

I’m a little confused as to why these devices are being deployed, given the other restrictions that already exist on liquids. If 3-ounce bottles are deemed harmless, then a liquid scanner isn’t necessary. Or, if a liquid scanner is in place, then the 3-ounce limit on liquids would no longer be necessary. But why keep both?

Hopefully this test will prove successful and allow the TSA to eventually rescind the 3-ounce rule. I’ll happily offer my liquids for scanning, if that means I can carry a larger container on board.

Boston Logan Airport apparently got the first allocations of the scanners. Has anyone witnessed liquid scans in action? If so, hit the comments! Let’s hear about it.

Related:
- Japan and China introduce liquid-explosive detectors: Why can’t the US?
- Update: TSA compresses 100ml to 3.0 fluid ounces
- Are unlabeled bottles legal through airport security, and how do you deal with agents who make up rules?
- TSA apparently prefers its water in aerosol form

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These posters are fantastic. They’re pitching the Star Wars weekends at Disney/MGM in Orlando, taking place this month, but for whatever reason, the Star Wars characters are moving through airports, instead of cavorting in the Magic Kingdom. (FYI, this weekend is your chance to meet the diminutive Kenny Baker, who actually controlled R2-D2 from inside the “robot.”)

Regardless of the reason for their origin, these posters are great. The image above is my personal favorite. Darth Vader may have the power to choke a man from afar, and his Death Star could obliterate Princess Leia’s home planet of Alderaan, but when he’s flying coach, he suffers the same security indignities that we all share.

(Something tells me the metal detector is still going to go off.)

Tip o’ the hat to AviationWeek’s Benet Wilson for finding these.

More pictures from the series after the jump.
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It’s been a tough few weeks, so the posting machine has been running a bit slow. Time to clear some of the backlog:

Survivor: Skybus edition
Jaunted’s Mark Johnson played anthropologist in the airline world last week, doing some participant-observation onboard ultra-cheap negative-frills airline Skybus. The whole saga, with videos and pictures, can be found here. Photo above is Mark’s pic of a $9/hour Skybus flight attendant selling goods (on commission). Ah, the ubiquitous Toblerone, official chocolate of 35,000 feet. But ice wine? And those crew uniforms look remarkably like the folks in those hotels.com TV ads…

Bonus: Skybus is adding three cities to their roster. “Hartford/Springfield” — which is really Westover Metropolitan (CEF), 19 miles from Bradley (BDL). “Jacksonville/Daytona Beach” — which is really St. Augustine/St. John’s County (UST), a whopping 42 air miles from Jacksonville (JAX). And San Diego. Yes, it’s really San Diego. One out of three ain’t bad.

At least he didn’t threaten the flight attendants
The TSA reportedly detained director Mike Figgis for five hours at LAX, after he told security screeners that he was in town to “shoot a pilot.” What, LAX employees never heard the television-industry parlance of “pilot”? UPDATE: This never happened. Mike Figgis himself says it’s BS. But it’s a good story, I tells ya.

Arthur Frommer had better watch out
Latest competitor to Fodor’s, Frommer’s, and Lonely Planet? Borat!

Canadian citizenship for Kip Hawley?
Even though the Canadian government has created their own security lists, Canadian airlines are still using American no-fly lists. Will TSA Director Kip Hawley freedom baggies be far off?

I’d rather pay for my mortgage with miles
Gary Leff wants to pay his mortgage by credit card, so he can earn points. And it will soon be possible, via American Express and a small set of lenders, who take a $395 fee up front. Years ago, I checked out a rental apartment that let you use Visa to pay your rent. (I didn’t rent it.) The apartment sucked, but think of the miles I left on the table!

Villa livin’
Wendy Perrin has written a great guide to finding an affordable villa or vacation home. But the prices she mentions are still not ultra-cheap. I’m already a villa convert: In December 2005, my wife and I rented a small beachfront house in Anguilla. The house had its own pool, looked across the strait to the beautiful, mountainous island of St. Martin (or St. Maarten, if you prefer), and cost a little over $200 per night. It had no butler service, and, while comfortable, it wasn’t “luxury,” but it was amazing value.

Spend green to go green?
The city of Denver wants passengers to buy carbon offsets when they fly out of DEN. They’re setting up kiosks that let you buy offsets just like you might buy that Mutual of Omaha travel insurance. At the same time, Republican Congressmen are, perhaps ironically, championing a greater role for the federal government: regulating carbon offsets. Might not be a bad idea. I’m all for supporting the environment, but I’m suspicious of the offset idea. This skeptical op-ed in the Times of London doesn’t help.

Explosive curry
Explosive curry damages a Boeing 747. Say no more.

Boxers = Boeing, briefs = Airbus
Great moments in headline writing: “Hong Kong tycoon buys B787 jet after seeing passenger in underpants.”

Yes, that hamster is happy to see you
Jetlagged? Try popping a Viagra. After all, it works for hamsters!

Downgraded: Presidential security
The Secret Service is overburdened. So they’re bringing in the TSA! If presidential candidates look like they haven’t washed their hair, because their shampoo was confiscated, this will be why. God help us all.

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