Upgraded: Pilot air rage
Downgraded: 37 people’s on-time travel
Sure, it’s amusing that a pilot got so frustrated at having to pass through security at London City Airport that he pulled down his pants, exposed himself completely, and demanded, “‘Do you want to search THIS?” But if I were one of the 37 passengers waiting to fly to Zurich, I might be a little ticked that someone got all high and mighty at the prospect of being searched at an airport. Yeah, it’s security theater. We all have to do it. Get in line, skipper.

Upgraded: Continental (gasp!) removes fees from the OnePass program
Continental, which is joining Star Alliance (and leaving SkyTeam) as of its first flights on October 25, is going against the grain and (gasp!) removing fees and restrictions from frequent flyer tickets in their OnePass program. Gary Leff points to a FlyerTalk thread, in which a Continental representative spills the beans. Changes made to frequent flyer tickets, if initiated 21+ days before the start of travel, will be free as long as the departure and destination are the same. Now, if only you could actually get tickets at the SaverPass level…

Upgraded: JetBlue cuts a break to the unemployed
It started in Europe, now it’s hit North America: If you lose your job, JetBlue will give you a refund.

Upgraded: Bump scheduling
Downgraded: Bump compensation
Air Canada will let you put yourself on the bump list in advance, in case a flight is overbooked, but in terms of cash, it’s a lousy deal. At best, they’ll let you earn up to $57 CAD or USD per one-way flight, including connections. That’s at least half of what you’d be getting if you were bumped at the gate. the tradeoff: You get to choose your alternate flight in advance. Maybe that works for you. They’re upgrading the options, but downgrading the payment. (via Cranky)

Air Canada baffles me. They have been very innovative (for better or worse) in pushing the a-la-carte model of airfare, but when presented with some seemingly simple opportunities to collect a few bucks, they decline.

What I’m talking about is day passes to their Maple Leaf Lounge in Toronto. With a nearly six hour layover in Toronto on a trip later this year, I was checking my options for lounges or other time-wasters at the airport. My Star Alliance status, which used to get me into airport lounges on all international flights, isn’t what it used to be. My recently-demoted (and “lowly”) silver status won’t get you into a lounge on an international economy ticket.

Air Canada sells day passes to its Maple Leaf Lounge, but only during the ticket purchase process. When you book a flight in their “Tango Plus” or “Latitude” fare levels within North America, or at the fully-refundable “Latitude Plus” fare level when traveling internationally, you can add a lounge day pass to your ticket cost for $25 to 40 (CAD).

But since our flights were Star Alliance tickets booked with frequent flyer miles, I inquired about the possibility of day passes after ticket purchase. The agent informed me that this wasn’t possible: I could neither buy passes in advance over the phone or via the web, nor could I buy a day pass at the lounge. Why not? “They’re just not sold that way.”

The airline, in other words, is willing to put procedure ahead of profit.

If it were just an effort to keep up the velvet rope and limit access to the lounges, then they wouldn’t be selling the passes to rather low-fare Tango Plus North American customers. So clearly they’re willing to allow for buy-ins.

If it were a technology problem, I could understand, too. And in fact, that’s part of the issue, since our tickets weren’t bought online, so there was no opportunity to buy passes online. But that doesn’t explain why it’s impossible to buy a pass at the gate.

That’s really what I don’t understand: Why wouldn’t the lounge sell day passes at the door? That way, the lounge attendants are given discretion, and can gauge whether or not there’s space available, to prevent overcrowding. Instead, it’s an inconsistent policy that allows people on some cheap fares to buy their way in, but not others.

Instead, I’m eying a third-party lounge at Toronto Pearson Airport, the Plaza Premium lounge that opened on November 1, 2008. They’re open to all, at a cost of $35 CAD per person. I’m not hung up on sitting in a lounge for five hours, either, so if readers have any suggestions on how to pass the time at YYZ, the comments, as always, are open.

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Upgraded: Hassles for the obese Canadian traveler
Canada’s Supreme Court ruled recently that obese passengers could not be forced to buy a second seat. The court reaffirmed the Department of Transport’s “one person, one seat” directive. Air Canada and WestJet, Canada’s top airlines, in turn decided that passengers would need a doctor’s note declaring the passenger “disabled as a result of their obesity,” and not simply too large to feel comfortable in an airline seat, if they wanted the exemption from paying a second fare. Now Canadian doctors are complaining that the airlines are overburdening the medical system with the requirement for notes. I smell a lawsuit brewing.

Downgraded: Parking lot firepower
Not so smart: Driving to LAX with a trunk full of guns and ammunition. 16 firearms, 1000 rounds. Including one assault rifle. To the driver’s credit, the weapons were locked in separate containers from the ammunition, and he claims he was licensed for everything, but what kind of genius brings that kind of firepower to the airport?

Upgraded: Florida deals for DC residents who dislike inaugurations
Barack Obama is being sworn in as president on Tuesday, January 20, and Washington, DC will be mayhemic. Plus, hotels in the area are gouging their customers booked with record rates. (2-star hotels fifty miles away from the district for $550/night? Get real.) But rooms are marked down in Amelia Island, Florida, where hotels are trying to attract residents of the DC area who either want to avoid the congestion — or who just don’t like the new president.

Downgraded: United elite status duration
United has shaved a month off the validity of their frequent flyer elite status. Reader Craig writes in:

I opened up my new [United Airlines Mileage Plus] premier exec card yesterday and noticed that instead of expiring at the end of February 2010, it expires at the end of January. Also looking at the brochure that accompanies the card they have eliminated the Elite Choice reward at 40k miles. These are minor things, but still.

Indeed. Status used to last 14 months — January 1 through the next year’s February. Now, it’s 13 months. Lucky, lucky 13.

Reader Vince sends in this photo and asks what it really means:

Just got back from a trip on Air Canada and I think they may be setting it up to start charging passengers for inflight entertainment. Before your VOD [video on demand] starts it says “You personal entertainment experience is currently provided compliments of Air Canada.” Currently? I took a picture with my iphone…

It would be interesting to find out whether they are actually planning on starting to charge for this, as this message is fairly recent and was not shown when the service was originally launched.

Well, Vince, I asked Air Canada if they were planning to allow sponsorship of its inflight video system, or if the system were designed to be pay-per-use. “Currently” provided compliments of Air Canada sure suggests that free entertainment isn’t going to stay free for long. So are there plans to impose a fee for passengers, or is Air Canada vying for inflight entertainment sponsorships?

Air Canada’s media relations staff wouldn’t respond for comment.

So we’re left to speculate.

Obviously, the “currently” modifier clearly suggests that the price isn’t staying at $0.00 for long. And Air Canada was an early adopter of the “a la carte” pricing model for its tickets. It’s easily conceivable that some fare codes might get the video thrown in, while the cheapest seats pay per use.

Or, you might see a sponsorship deal, wherein all entertainment is “brought to you by Tim Horton’s” or something like that.

Without a sponsorship, the airline will likely resort to selling access to entertainment, but would that fundamentally be any different from selling headphones? (Yes, I realize that you can bring your own headphones, and that you can’t bring your own Air Canada video access code…)

Be forewarned, bring a good book, and be sure any electronic toys are charged before takeoff.

It’s been a tough few weeks, so the posting machine has been running a bit slow. Time to clear some of the backlog:

Survivor: Skybus edition
Jaunted’s Mark Johnson played anthropologist in the airline world last week, doing some participant-observation onboard ultra-cheap negative-frills airline Skybus. The whole saga, with videos and pictures, can be found here. Photo above is Mark’s pic of a $9/hour Skybus flight attendant selling goods (on commission). Ah, the ubiquitous Toblerone, official chocolate of 35,000 feet. But ice wine? And those crew uniforms look remarkably like the folks in those hotels.com TV ads…

Bonus: Skybus is adding three cities to their roster. “Hartford/Springfield” — which is really Westover Metropolitan (CEF), 19 miles from Bradley (BDL). “Jacksonville/Daytona Beach” — which is really St. Augustine/St. John’s County (UST), a whopping 42 air miles from Jacksonville (JAX). And San Diego. Yes, it’s really San Diego. One out of three ain’t bad.

At least he didn’t threaten the flight attendants
The TSA reportedly detained director Mike Figgis for five hours at LAX, after he told security screeners that he was in town to “shoot a pilot.” What, LAX employees never heard the television-industry parlance of “pilot”? UPDATE: This never happened. Mike Figgis himself says it’s BS. But it’s a good story, I tells ya.

Arthur Frommer had better watch out
Latest competitor to Fodor’s, Frommer’s, and Lonely Planet? Borat!

Canadian citizenship for Kip Hawley?
Even though the Canadian government has created their own security lists, Canadian airlines are still using American no-fly lists. Will TSA Director Kip Hawley freedom baggies be far off?

I’d rather pay for my mortgage with miles
Gary Leff wants to pay his mortgage by credit card, so he can earn points. And it will soon be possible, via American Express and a small set of lenders, who take a $395 fee up front. Years ago, I checked out a rental apartment that let you use Visa to pay your rent. (I didn’t rent it.) The apartment sucked, but think of the miles I left on the table!

Villa livin’
Wendy Perrin has written a great guide to finding an affordable villa or vacation home. But the prices she mentions are still not ultra-cheap. I’m already a villa convert: In December 2005, my wife and I rented a small beachfront house in Anguilla. The house had its own pool, looked across the strait to the beautiful, mountainous island of St. Martin (or St. Maarten, if you prefer), and cost a little over $200 per night. It had no butler service, and, while comfortable, it wasn’t “luxury,” but it was amazing value.

Spend green to go green?
The city of Denver wants passengers to buy carbon offsets when they fly out of DEN. They’re setting up kiosks that let you buy offsets just like you might buy that Mutual of Omaha travel insurance. At the same time, Republican Congressmen are, perhaps ironically, championing a greater role for the federal government: regulating carbon offsets. Might not be a bad idea. I’m all for supporting the environment, but I’m suspicious of the offset idea. This skeptical op-ed in the Times of London doesn’t help.

Explosive curry
Explosive curry damages a Boeing 747. Say no more.

Boxers = Boeing, briefs = Airbus
Great moments in headline writing: “Hong Kong tycoon buys B787 jet after seeing passenger in underpants.”

Yes, that hamster is happy to see you
Jetlagged? Try popping a Viagra. After all, it works for hamsters!

Downgraded: Presidential security
The Secret Service is overburdened. So they’re bringing in the TSA! If presidential candidates look like they haven’t washed their hair, because their shampoo was confiscated, this will be why. God help us all.

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Like flying? A lot? Really, really a lot? Like Canada? Like the idea of going through American immigration in Canada? Have I got a deal for you…

Air Canada is rolling out all-you-can-fly fare passes for 3 and 6-month periods. The fares aren’t cheap, per se (fares start at ~$1700 per month), but if you commute between the US and Canada on a regular basis, this could be up your alley.

This nugget in their press release might be handy, too:

In addition, Air Canada is offering automatic top tier Elite frequent flyer status to its customers who purchase a six-month Unlimited ‘Flight Pass to Canada’ subscription at the Latitude fare level starting at $2,360 per month with additional flexibility and benefits.

All “Latitude” passes offer unlimited free upgrades (when available…). Alas, you’ll earn a fixed number of miles per month, depending on the fare level you purchase (10K/month for Tango Plus, 15K/month for Latitude), and you can’t credit the miles to another Star Alliance program.

Details on the 3-month unlimited flight passes are here. 6-month passes are here. The 6-month passes are here.

Related:
- Air Canada’s new menu of fare options
- Air Canada opens ALL seats to frequent flyer redemption
- Checked luggage now costs 20 bucks on lowest Air Canada fares

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Upgrade: Travel Better is officially taking a few days off. May your holidays be good ones, and may you maintain that slim and sexy figure you’ve had for so long, despite the end-of-year gluttony. If you’re stuck at an airport, thanks to Denver’s snow or London’s fog, good luck getting to your destination, and safe travels.

But before returning to the feasting, here are a couple considerations for travel in the new year:

- Traveling to America’s national parks in 2007? Consider the $50 National Park Pass, valid for one year, while you still can. In the new year, the price goes up to $80 and the name changes to the “America the Beautiful Pass.” Same pass, new name, higher price. Buy now to save thirty bucks. (via Tim Leffel)

- Traveling in low season is always a good way to save money. But when IS the low season? CheapTickets has compiled a short list of the lowest of the low seasons, with the average hotel stay discount, measured from the peak. Some aren’t that helpful — Phoenix in June? But others are good to know, such as Hawaii in May.

- Through January 3, Air Canada is selling all-you-can-fly “Welcome Aboard” passes for as little as $229 (Canadian) per month, depending on destination. Flight days are limited (e.g., Tuesdays and Saturdays) and the rate goes up as you include a broader geographic range. And unfortunately, you can’t use the passes to rack up miles — you only receive a fixed number of miles per month. But it may be worth your while if you’re traveling within Canada or to/from the United States. FAQs are here. (Thanks to reader Ian!)

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Back in April, Air Canada introduced $20 discount for passengers who agreed 1) not to make any changes to their itinerary and 2) not to check any luggage.

Now, the airline is expanding the “Go Discount” program, making the calculation of your airfare even more a la carte:

The carrier is offering four fare types (Tango, Tango Plus, Latitude and Executive) and gives passengers the option to add or subtract items based on individual preferences. The offerings include value-added car rental and hotel services, lounge access for Latitude customers for C$25 ($22.30), advance seat selection for Tango customers (C$15), a C$5 inflight meal voucher option for Tango and Tango Plus customers and options for Tango, Tango Plus and Latitude passengers to save C$5 by not checking baggage and for Tango passengers to save C$7 by agreeing not to change or cancel flights and C$3 by declining frequent-flier miles.

The airline is claiming that the new policy increases price transparency. True enough, and there are some people who can probably benefit from this. But the benefits have their limits.

Putting a price tag on seat assignments — and such a high price tag — is obnoxious. I know, it’s already common practice in Europe, especially among charter airlines, but it’s still conduct unbecoming a full-service airline.

The meal vouchers are reasonable, in comparison. I’m not sure how many people would prefer the airline’s catering to a sandwich purchased in the airport, but at least the price is competitive.

It’s the C$3 discount for declining frequent flyer miles that really gets me. Besides the fact that not earning miles is heresy if you’re under my roof, it’s valuing the miles far too cheaply. I understand that this is aimed at the very infrequent flyer who never collects enough mileage to be worth a free trip, but 3 Canadian bucks?? A flight from Toronto to Vancouver covers 2085 miles each way — even at a conservative 1 cent per mile, that’s over C$40 worth…

It will be interesting to see if any American airlines follow suit. American Airlines has toyed with various fees (like the $1 soft drink experiment) so they might try this. Southwest, JetBlue, and USAirways are all prime candidates for this sort of pricing, too. But it will be difficult to align a menu of flight options with Expedia, Orbitz, etc. And it will make apples-to-apples comparisons of fares even harder, going forward.

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Just two weeks ago, we learned that US Airways was halving the life of an earned frequent flyer mile from 3 years to 18 months. (Of course, you can still extend your miles’ lifespan by having any activity on the account.)

Now Air Canada does one worse. As View From the Wing reports, the maximum life of an Aeroplan mile, even if you keep adding miles diligently to your account, will be limited to 7 years. On top of that, your account can be closed down if you don’t have activity for 12 months. As Gary Leff writes, that is indeed “draconian.” It makes United Airlines’ recently-effected reshuffling of the Mileage Plus program seem like an upgrade (which it isn’t, so don’t get any ideas).

This should serve as just another reminder to spend your miles. Don’t hoard. You’ll only get burned.

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Air Canada has apparently instituted a new policy: Delay our flight, receive a four-digit bill.

The airline sent Gus Fuentes a $1,350 bill for causing a flight from London to Toronto to be delayed. (Passengers, who were presumably similarly inconvenienced by ol’ Gus, might want to band together and send him a separate invoice.)

The airline says he was abusive, and he was forced to leave the plane before takeoff. He says they overreacted.

While it’s amusing, it’s also disturbing in some sense. Who’s to say what might warrant a fine from an airline? Where do you draw the line? “Sir, please put your shoes back on. Your feet smell. That’ll be $50.”

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