Downgraded: Catastrophe Management
SNCF, the national railway of France, publicly posted that 104 passengers had died in an explosion of the high-speed TGV. Thankfully, the news was false — completely fabricated, as an internal crisis management simulation. But alas, the test went awry, and the notice actually hit the newswires.
Downgraded: Meals on Continental
Continental Airlines has finally thrown in the towel and is giving up the free meals in coach. Instead, they’re instituting a buy-on-board program. Maybe I’m suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, and I’ve become assimilated by my airline captors, but this doesn’t bother me much. Yes, it’s the end of an era. But I’ve moved on. So have others. The problem, for me, is that Continental is taking another page from its colleagues in the industry and spinning the removal of an existing amenity as an upgrade.
Upgraded: Flight Attendants’ Demands
Flight attendants, represented by the Association of Flight Attendants, want training in hand-to-hand combat. I think they’re right. Other demands: portable communication devices for speaking to the pilots (makes sense); standardized (read: smaller) carry-on sizes, “so that flight attendants can look for suspicious passengers instead of struggling with oversized bags” (makes sense, but let’s not go Ryanair on sizing); shutting down onboard wi-fi during periods of “high threat” (this is particularly subject to abuse).
Upgraded: Airline Seat Ratings in Brazil
The Brazilian government is taking an interesting and unusual step: requiring airlines to grade their legroom for their aircraft. It’s like an officially-sanctioned SeatGuru, without the specific-seat-level unit of analysis.
Downgraded: Aircraft Air
This is not particularly comforting: 1 in 2000 flights has a “fume event,” which often involves the intrusion of contaminated air into the cabin. In a recent incident, engine oil seeped improperly, was vaporized, and spread through the cabin. Tricresyl phosphate in the oil can cause neurological damage. Awesome.
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March 17th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Afraid I disagree on the “hand-to-hand combat” b.s. Not only would such “training” be minimally effective (it takes years to become proficient in martial arts), but it further distances cabin crew from attitudes of customer service.
There seems little need for “standardized” carry-ons. The size limits are already in place – just enforce what’s already there with sizing boxes. If it don’t fit, it gets gate checked – no exceptions.
Overall, I feel much of this is just another attempt to keep all of us scared all of the time. I thought the government was the best at keeping the threat level orange and creating a miasma of constant low-grade fear, in its attempts to make us do whatever it wants. Now it’s private enterprise trying the same. (Although maybe it’s just another way for the FA unions to stay adversarial to management.)
March 18th, 2010 at 1:09 am
Flight attendants now think that their job is to “look for suspicious passengers”? Please! As though having the Taco-Bell flunkies who run our hand luggage through machines they can’t use isn’t enough.
I buy that FAs are there for safety in the event of an airline emergency. But to think that they’re in any way qualified to look for suspicious passengers is nothing short of absurd. And, as a UA frequent flyer, the idea of training the already ill-humoured FAs on United’s long-haul flights to be even more belligerent and confrontational makes me shudder. How about a little people skills training for these folks?
We have enough to be afraid of with the TSA, declining service levels and airlines’ propensity to take passengers hostage for hours on end without food and water. We don’t need pumped-up, foul tempered flight attendants who fancy themselves security guards. The passenger cabin is scary enough as it is without delusional flight attendants.