American fires up the inflight internet
American Airlines is rolling out a consumer test of Aircell’s inflight internet service. But have no fear, Skype will be blocked, so no “Guess where I am? On a plane! A plane!” conversations.

Chrysler fires up the in-car internet
Wi-fi on planes is one thing. But in your car? Yep. Chrysler is putting wireless internet access into its 2009 cars. At the same time that many states are requiring handsfree devices for cellphone conversations, Chrysler wants you to surf the web??

No Ted? No service!
Cutting flights and service is widespread, across airilnes. But now that United has killed its Ted subsidiary, they’re pulling out of Ted cities entirely. For example, Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach are cut.

Sipping from Galley Springs
With airlines starting to charge $2 for a bottle of water inflight, the Environmental Protection Agency is turning its attention to the tap water in the tanks. 15% of tested aircraft had coliform bacteria in the tanks. Yum! But even if testing of water is more frequent, drink it at your own risk.

Starve yourself into the proper time zone!
There are a thousand jet lag remedies. Make it 1001: Don’t eat for 16 hours to reset your circadian clock. Skip the airline meal, and then some. Anyone want to field-test this one?

But what about the female business-class passenger?
Ryanair wants to fly across the Atlantic, and they plan to introduce a business glass. And yes, it will include, ahem, complimentary male sexual gratification. What?? Cranky has the video of the announcement, with a tortured German translator incapable of repeating what Ryanair chief O’Leary is saying. Come to think of it, I’m not actually repeating it either. But I’ll help out the translator: The German verb for the act in question is “blasen.”

Speaking of expletives…
A few weeks ago, Southwest pretty much summed up their competition by publishing a “coupon” in the Wall Street Journal that read “Dont #$*!% Me Over!” That about sums it up. Now, what would Ryanair’s international business class coupon look like?…

Elizabeth of Go Green Travel Green (not pictured) writes in to remind me of the new “price assurance” policy that Orbitz rolled out last week.

After you book your flight, Price Assurance guarantees that if someone else books the same flight (same date, same time) through Orbitz at a better rate than yours, Orbitz will send you a check for the difference (between $5 and $250 per person).

According to the Wall Street Journal, the move is an attempt to ward off competition from Priceline and Hotwire, both of which eliminated the ticket booking fees so often associated with online travel agencies. (Orbitz charges a $6 booking fee edit:$4.99 to $11.99 booking fee, variable depending on the itinerary, per ticket.)

So instead of offering a guaranteed discount (i.e., no booking fee), Orbitz is offering you the possibility of greater rewards, but for greater risk. It’s a gamble. And, in my estimation, it’s a losing bet, with the odds favor the house on this one.

Unlike Yapta, which tracks fare drops and alerts you when the published price goes down, Orbitz will automatically send you a check IF AND ONLY IF another Orbitz customer purchases the same ticket you booked, and they do it for less money. If the price just goes down, but no one buys that ticket on Orbitz, you’re out of luck. No refund.

So when would you be more likely to win in the refund lottery? It would need to be a frequently purchased itinerary, so I’d be expecting it on major business routes like Washington-Chicago, San Francisco-New York, etc. Trying to get a price drop refund on that Bozeman, Montana to Fayetteville, North Carolina itinerary? Good luck with that.

And besides, do you really expect fares to go DOWN much anytime soon? If Orbitz starts offering the other side of that wager, I’ll be in.

For the most part, I’d stick with either the airline’s own website, Priceline, or Hotwire, to save on the booking fee.

Related:
- The black art of repricing tickets
- Track airfare before and AFTER you buy?
- Putting low-fare guarantees to the test
- Orbitz (aff)

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Every so often, you hear about a chef who loses a Michelin star and then goes nuts — in the worst case, even committing suicide. But you never hear about celebrations when a star is lost. The perpetual goal is to gain or keep stars, not shed them. But now hotels in Berlin are clamoring for a lower rating, in an effort to keep business.

Why? Because a five-star rating is causing some hotels to lose business from corporate clients who are cutting back. At least that’s the theory.

The hotels appear to believe that their business has been hurt by a recommendation that pharmaceutical companies reduce the amount of pampering given to physicians and others attending events hosted by drug companies.
[...]
Willy Weiland, the director of the InterContinental and president of Berlin’s federation of hotels and inns, told the Berliner Morgenpost that the loss in the pharmaceutical business is no laughing matter. He estimates that 60,000 of his hotel’s 140,000 annual overnight stays derive from individuals participating in congresses such as those hosted by drug companies.

This certainly bucks the trend at the upper end of the travel industry of trying to out-luxe-ify the competition.

(Incidentally, if you’re confused as to how a hotel even could attempt to negotiate its star-rating downward, that’s a function of the German rating system. Hotels in Germany are voluntarily rated by a third-party ratings agency on a published scale. It’s an opt-in system, unlike the guidebook-generated ratings (AAA, Mobil, Frommer’s, Fodor’s, Zagat, etc., etc. etc.) in the United States. The German system is voluntary, unlike, say, the mandatory ratings systems in Belgium.)

Will the voluntary downgrade be a trend anywhere else? Do corporate travel offices really cut back on bookings based on the star rating, instead of the room rate?

Unable to find agreement to merge (thankfully), Continental and United have announced plans to partner, with Continental joining the Star Alliance in 2009, subject to regulatory approvals. With alliances being mutually exclusive, that means the SkyTeam alliance, with Delta and Northwest anchoring the North American members, will lose a major player.

In an e-mail to Mileage Plus members, United is pitching this as a benefit to frequent flyers, with an increase in mileage (and status) earning opportunities. Codesharing would commence upon approval, and Continental would align its schedule to coincide with United and Lufthansa, the two anchors of the alliance.

For frequent flyers in the two programs, there are questions that arise: United is pitching the reciprocity angle, where you receive and accrue benefits in either program, but Continental and United have very different programs, especially in terms of how status miles collect (where you buy the fare matters to CO, not to UA) and how upgrades are obtained (“unlimited” on CO, based on status, vs. certificate-based on UA).

And then there’s this: “Internationally, Continental and United will establish joint ventures that will allow us to cooperate with each other and with other Star Alliance airlines throughout the world.” Will these “joint ventures” be a new airline, like British Airways’ OpenSkies?

Stay tuned. Either way, changes afoot.

Have you recently been offered a free upgrade at the car rental counter, but turned it down? Perhaps you wanted a more fuel efficient car, with gas prices being what they are. Perhaps you have other reasons. In any case, a reporter for a major daily newspaper would like to speak with you.

If interested, send me an e-mail with your contact information, and I’ll pass it along to the journalist.

Related:
- Reader mail: Why would I want to upgrade my rental car?
- Rental car agent blows smoke up my backside, redux

Tired of people with elite status boarding before you, or getting into separate security lines? Wish you could get double miles on every flight, and your very own extra-special customer service phone number that routes you to the same Indian call center as everyone else, but with a separate greeting? Want to get on the loyalty train while others are getting off? Upset that you’re not getting blamed by travel writers for ruining air travel? Well, you might just be in luck.

MileMaven.com‘s Boaz Shmueli writes in to offer up an interesting offer on United: Free Premier Executive status. Free. No flying 50,000 miles. No “challenges.” Just… free. But there’s no guarantee this will work: The offer may be targeted. Still, the worst you can end up doing is entering your account number on a website. Big whoop. Why not try it? Just do it by June 30.

Premier Executive is the middle tier of elite status on the airline. It offers Star Alliance Gold privileges (free lounge access anytime you fly internationally), a (pointless) “priority” tag attached to any checked luggage you might have, free Economy Plus seating, midrange rank on the upgrade list, and a number of smaller benefits (such as reduced fees) that could add up over time if you fly enough. See here for the full description of the status.

Act quickly.