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Every travel magazine seems to relish in their hotel rankings, and Consumer Reports is no exception. But the CR ratings aren’t “top five,” “top ten,” or “top 100″ lists. Instead, they’re overall quality and value ratings, based on a survey of 35,000 readers who actually plant their heads on hotel pillows every year, and not the musings of magazine editors creating an aspirational fantasy narrative for their subscribers. After all, how many people really will stay at the finest hotels in Bora Bora and Monte Carlo, anyway? Far more likely, the bulk of travelers (and travel magazine readers) will be staying at a chain hotel.

So which chains came out on top in their survey? Consumer Reports keeps their full report behind a subscriber wall (click here for a summary and a link to the full report), but the folks at ConsumerAffairs.com have created a synopsis:

Consumer Reports rated hotels based on five categories: Fanciest, Luxury, Upscale, Moderate, and Budget, as well as the typical nightly rate readers paid. Per category, the highest-rated choices are:

• Fanciest: Price between $130 and $350. Simply the best according to readers, the opulent Ritz-Carlton, which earned top marks for value, service, upkeep, and low reported problems.
• Luxury: Price between $89 and $218. Scores were consistently good with slight differences separating the best from the pack. Among the best: Renaissance, Embassy Suites, Westin, Courtyard by Marriott, Omni, and Hyatt. Upkeep and service scored generally high for this group.
• Upscale: Price between $70 and $235. CR readers found this group to provide the best bang for the buck. Homewood Suites and SpringHill Suites were among the best. Residence Inn by Marriott, an all-suite chain also scored well. Walt Disney Resorts in Orlando and in California offered stellar service.
• Moderate: Price between $58 and $100. Drury Inn/Suites, Hampton Inn and Wingate Inn were top choices in this category. The Drury Inn and Wingate Inn showed much better than average scores for value.
• Budget: Priced between $40 and $85. Microtel was the star of the budget bunch, scoring as well or better than more well-appointed chains. It typically builds new hotels rather than converting older properties from other brands.

“Fanciest” makes me chuckle. While positive, it’s sort of old-fashioned, and doesn’t use the marketers’ narrative of luxury lifestyle branding. And the “luxury” category doesn’t really strike me as all that luxurious. I mean, Embassy Suites are generally nice, and they have that manager’s cocktail hour, but “luxury”?

And some chains didn’t make the top of their group, which surprised me. (No Holiday Inn Express in the “moderate” category?)

Added bonus in the report:

Making matters worse, some hotels are tacking on fees for everything from maid service ($5 to $18 a day) to the *chance* to use a tennis court, hiking trail, golf course and other resort amenities ($12 and up). That’s right — guests will pay even if they don’t play.

I’ve heard of resort fees, but maid service fees??! Classy.

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