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“Hey, they have chairs with wheels and here I am using my legs like a sucker!”
– Homer Simpson

Travel better? How about travel like a really lazy slob?

Increasingly, travelers to Vegas are renting scooters designed for the handicapped, even if they themselves are perfectly healthy, or even downright fit. Why?

“It was all the walking,” 27-year-old Simon Lezama said on his red Merits Pioneer 3. Lezama, a trim and fit-looking restaurant manager from Odessa, Texas, rented it on day three of his five-day vacation, “and now I can drink and drive, be responsible and save my feet.” (emphasis added)

Lazy and hooked on the sauce. Nice. Try doing THAT on a Segway!

So not only are these folks lazy, they’re tying one on and then tooling around the sidewalks and casino carpets. Watch for traffic next time you’re in Sin City.

Truly, the bar has been raised. And these people are limbo-ing below it at 5 mph.

Go read the whole thing.