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It’s not just belligerent passengers who made headlines in the last week — and there were several of those, each impressive in their own awful way.

Passengers urinating on each other, drunkenly assaulting pilots, and smoking in the lavatory before letting their fists fly.

But pilots are getting in on the action too, with stories and behavior fit for the Jerry Springer Show.

To wit:

• An American Airlines pilot was acquitted of charges of attempting to fly a plane while drunk. A British jury believed his defense: sleepdrinking.
• A Virgin Atlantic pilot was similarly let off the hook, after accusations of drunken aviation, though the culprit in his case was his diet. His body was producing high levels of acetone, which was mistaken for alcohol. (Anyone know which diet produces sniffable levels of acetone?!)
• Finally, a Northwest pilot was removed from duty after swearing repeatedly, first on his cellphone, and then later at passengers, dropping F-bombs left and right. Adding insult to injury, the flight from Las Vegas to Detroit was canceled, leaving 180 people looking for alternate flights or last-minute (and unwanted) overnight lodging.

Perhaps the last pilot was upset at the recent FCC ruling that keeps cellphones turned off on planes?

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