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Here’s one for germaphobe hotel visitors with OCD.

Maybe you may fear the filthy bedspread covering your questionably-clean sheets, or you worry about the germs and fungi living in the carpets between your toes, or you actually conduct experiments by marking the bottoms of coffee cups, to see if your housekeeper is actually exchanging the in-room mugs. All well and good, but it’s the most banal of furnishings that you really need to worry about.

The most virus-contaminated objects in a hotel room: door handles, pens, light switches and taps. If the previous guest had a cold, you’d be more likely to catch it from the light switch than the armchair or the bedding.

Let’s just hope that the diseases transferred by the door handle don’t get worse than the common cold.

(image: marlandova)

United and US Airways have separately introduced shortcuts to 2007 elite status.

United will give you double elite-qualifying miles or segments on all flights actually operated by United (no codeshares), but only if you pay them $499. Ouch!

In previous years they charged $100, $150, or $200 for the end-of-year double counting. $499? That’s a spicy meatball! Who’s gonna bite?

US Airways isn’t charging extra, but it isn’t offering double miles on its flights, either. Instead, from October 1 through December 31, 2006, all miles that you earn through hotels and rental cars count toward elite status.

Remember, there are two kinds of miles: Redeemable miles, which, as the name implies, you actually can (attempt to) cash in for flights, etc., and Elite-qualifying miles, which are solely used to calculate your status with the airline. 25,000 elite-qualifying miles (EQMs) are generally necessary to obtain entry-level elite status.

Earning status in calendar year 2006 nets you status through February 2008.

The Atlantic Rift
Flying from Europe to the United States? Starting today, it involves an element of risk. The United States requires international carriers to transmit 34 pieces of information about each traveler to the Department of Homeland Security no later than 15 minutes after takeoff. A European Union court ruled that this transfer of information is a violation of EU privacy laws, and gave until September 30 for the EU and US to work out a deal regarding a legal transfer of information. US and EU negotiators were unable to reach a consensus. The US has publicly stated that it would not grant landing clearance to those airlines who hadn’t sent the passenger information, but the airlines could be fined by the EU for sending the info overseas. Rock and a hard place.

It’s unclear how or when this will be resolved. Since stopping terrorism is an international problem, perhaps an international organization could be the intermediary for this sort of thing everywhere, and not just over the Atlantic. Interpol? The UN? I don’t know, but somehow a balance needs to be struck.

Fingerprinting
Meanwhile, the United States has decided that it plans to expand its fingerprinting policy for foreign nationals entering the US. One finger scan wasn’t enough. Now they want all 10 fingers. US citizens remain exempt, but if the point of this is to trawl for terrorists, then shouldn’t Americans be fingerprinted, too? Much like the bombers in the London subway included British citizens, all Americans aren’t angels. Plenty of people will feel insulted by this, and it’s going to build a lot of ill will. The double standard for Americans doesn’t help. Print everyone, or no one.

Euro-Carry-on Policy
The EU is standardizing its carry-on luggage policy across all 25 member countries. Three major rules to keep in mind:

1. The measures will limit the individual quantities of liquids allowed to be carried by passengers to 100 ml. per container, require that the number of containers fit in one transparent resealable plastic bag of a maximum size of 1 liter and state that passengers must present the plastic bag at security checkpoints.
2. The committee also agreed to limit the size of carry-on luggage from EU airports to a maximum of 56 cm. by 45 cm. by 25 cm. (approximately 22 in. by 18 in. by 10 in.) with the possibility of some exemptions, such as for musical instruments. The standard roll-on bag is 22 in. by 14 in. by 9 in.
3. It further decided to make obligatory certain procedures that already are mandatory at US airports, such as putting all jackets and coats through x-ray machines and requiring that laptop computers be put through separately.

Standing up for your rights
The TSA explicitly permits corkscrews in your carry-on. Except when it doesn’t.

Dr. Vino, ever the peripatetic lush, had his corkscrew confiscated by the TSA, because it had a foil cutting “blade” attachment. But, Doc, do you really need to travel with a corkscrew wherever you go??

Standing up for your rights, redux
Pablo Gutierrez Vega is a more understanding man than I could ever be. The Spanish law professor was harassed by three German passengers on board his Air Berlin flight from Seville to Dortmund (by way of Mallorca, a.k.a. Deutschland in the Mediterranean). The passengers pretended to be undercover policemen and demanded to inspect his luggage on board the plane, all because Vega “looked Muslim.” The pilot, looking to split the difference, offered to hold his luggage in the cockpit, and offered to kick the three police impersonators off the flight at Vega’s option. Vega let the idiots stay, but agreed to leave his luggage with the pilot. Such a compromise is only “happy” when there’s an impending threat of mob action. Sad.

Shortest Path to a Secondary Screening
If you have a hankering for a security pat-down, or really want to join the no-fly list, and you think that writing messages insulting TSA director Kip Hawley on plastic bags isn’t going far enough, consider bringing a Suspicious Looking Deviceâ„¢ through security. The bright orange box features a timer, knobs, and switches, and it has absolutely no purpose other than looking suspicious. Best part: Touching the device causes it to sound a nasty alarm and scoot away from you on motorized wheels. Click here for a video of the device in action. Buy one for all your friends.

(images: paulcalypse, Junkfunnel)

This weekend, 155 people died when Brazil’s Gol Airlines tragically lost a Boeing 737-800 on a flight from Manaus to Brasilia. Our thoughts are certainly with the families of those who lost loved ones.

But the story of the flight’s demise is truly bizarre, and details are bound to unfold in coming days and weeks.

Most disturbingly, the plane apparently collided with another plane, an Embraer Legacy jet, inflight. The extent of the contact between the two planes is unclear, but the smaller Embraer “won” and landed safely.

First off, and most importantly, how could any mid-air contact between two jets equipped with collision avoidance systems happen? These weren’t older generations of planes. They were state of the art. The 737 had only logged 234 hours of flying time, total. What happened?

Second, how could the smaller jet take down the larger plane? (The 737 is nearly double the length and height, with 70% greater wingspan.) I have a hard time picturing the physics of this.

Finally, in the bizarre coincidences department: The New York Times’ Joe Sharkey, who writes the “On the Road” column Tuesdays, was on board the Embraer. I’m glad Joe and the others on the Embraer made it, and I certainly hope that Uncle Joe has a firsthand account to provide this coming Tuesday.

Reader Dave C. writes:

Rumors about United merging with Continental are in the news lately. What’s your take? Will it happen? What can passengers expect?

For a while now, these rumors have been floating around. Months ago, Continental’s CFO said he would be happy to see United offer a merger, as long as it came with a “bucket of dough.” (They’ve backed off that rhetoric, and now say publicly that they’d prefer to go it alone.)

It sure looks like United really is shopping itself. They just hired Goldman Sachs to “explore a range of strategic options, including possible mergers with other carriers.”

I’m no financial analyst, but when is the last time an investment bank DIDN’T recommend a merger or acquisition to a company that hired it? Call me a cynic, but the money is in making the deal, not in giving long-term advice.

The executives at United would stand to make a pretty penny on a merger, too. (United’s CEO just re-upped through 2011.)

So I think that SOME sort of deal is inevitable. Will it be with Continental? I have no idea. Route networks between the two airlines are complementary, but there are equipment differences and probable conflicts in determining seniority among employees. Plus, Northwest owns a stake in Continental and can play spoiler to any merger, unless it’s bought off. And the federal government can block any merger if it deems it uncompetitive.

You might also see some more complex deals. Hypothetical scenario: United buys Northwest but agrees to sell off the Pacific routes to avoid monopoly. Then United and Continental can merge. (Doubtful.) Alternatively, the companies merge but operate separately, like Air France-KLM in Europe. One company, two airlines. Who knows!

But the bottom line for travelers doesn’t look good. Planes are full, demand is there, and airlines are eking out a profit, even with high oil prices. When airlines say there’s too much capacity, it just means that they want to charge more. A merger would drive out competition and increase prices — at ALL airlines, not just United-Continental. Not to mention the mess that could arise from merging two frequent flyer programs.

I’m wary of a merger, and hoping it doesn’t happen.

(image: caribb)

Detroit Metro airport is expanding next year, to include a shopping mall outside of security. Including, brilliantly, everyday amenities: dry cleaning.

Drop off your stuff, check-in, get on a plane. When you get back from your trip, you pick up the clothes on the way. Genius!

Other ideas for airport services: How about a drugstore, but after security? As long as we’re still limited to bringing tiny tubes of toothpaste through security, why not sell a full line of products beyond security? Even if the liquids ban gets lifted, wouldn’t a CVS or Walgreens work reasonably well in a concourse?

(image)