It’s not Halloween, it’s ‘Take Your Columnist To Work Day’!
The New York Times’ Joe Sharkey, apparently tired of writing about business travel for his business travel column, pays a visit to someone’s place of business instead. But it’s no ordinary cubiclefest, but the wacky offices of Vegas.com. Joe’s money quote that makes the whole article worthwhile, though, is this: “Once, for a newspaper story in Philadelphia, I went to the animal shelter to bail out a stripper’s boa constrictor that was part of her act (the job of the snake, who adored her, was to untie her bikini top on stage).” Baby, that’s journalism.

It’s not Earth Day, either
Environmentalists in the UK aren’t cutting KLM any slack. The airline is introducing coffee grown on “sustainable” plantations, but the announcement was greeted with scoffs. Since airlines pump carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, a few acres of shade-grown coffee apparently don’t matter. Okay… but the airlines aren’t going to stop burning jet fuel overnight, and they have a choice TODAY regarding shade-grown vs. clear-cut-the-rainforests coffee. Give KLM a little credit.

Tehran is lovely this time of year
Iran is looking to attract tourists, and what better way to get them than to offer cash incentives? Iranian travel agents get a $20 bounty for every Western tourist they attract. Maybe they should start a rewards program for the visitors, though…

Air New Zealand goes ’round the world
Last week, Air New Zealand started flying from Hong Kong to London, making it the only airline to fly around the globe. (United gave up its Washington-London-Delhi-Hong Kong-Los Angeles-Washington circle in 2001, the previous holdout of single-airline RTW travel.) You can fly the loop for £801 (US$1521) including taxes for flights starting in London with stops along the way in Hong Kong, Auckland, and Los Angeles — cheap for a trip around the earth.

The life and times of (lost) luggage
Jane Engle follows the path of checked luggage. It’s a long but interesting tale, with some of the bags ending up at the Unclaimed Baggage Center in Alabama. Her suggestions at the end for making your bags identifiable are good ones, classics of travel advice. One variation on her suggestions, which I keep meaning to employ in practice, but somehow keep neglecting, is to print out your itinerary and put it inside the checked bag. That way, if the tracking tag falls off, it’s presumably easier to reunite you with your luggage.

Better food on Continental
Continental Airlines announced revisions to its menus, featuring recipes concocted by the airline’s “Congress of Chefs.” Call me a skeptic, but a stable of celebrity chefs doesn’t necessarily make the food taste any better at 39,000 feet. It still tends to taste like airline food… But change is good, and I’m all for trying out new recipes, so good on ‘em!

First it was Somali taxis refusing to transport passengers who were carrying alcohol, because the drivers’ religious beliefs were offended.

Now, according to a growing message board thread on FlyerTalk, United Airlines staff at LAX has apparently been refusing to allow wine in checked luggage.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

While airlines are legally within their rights to impose tougher restrictions on passengers than the TSA demands, it is completely arbitrary to prohibit wine transport in checked luggage, and only at one airport in America. You’re not allowed to carry wine onboard in your hand luggage, so checked luggage is the only legal means. And other airlines clearly don’t have the same restrictions. (Consider these tips for packing and shipping wine when you travel.) Further lesson: Don’t “declare” that you have wine if checking in at United in LAX. And if you’re only carrying one or two bottles, be sure to pack them tightly.

(As an aside, I’ve had surprisingly good experiences shipping fragile/breakable liquids in checked luggage: Flying from Germany to the United States a few years ago, I transported multiple bottles of beer and a couple jars of jam in my suitcase. I had packed it well, using bubble wrap and newspaper. I cleared customs and connected in Detroit, where I had to re-check my suitcase. The TSA opened everything up and shifted the suitcase contents around. But to their great credit, they not only returned the beer and food to the suitcase — they lovingly wrapped things even more, using clear packing tape, and an artfully-placed single band of “TSA inspected” label tape. Photo above.)

As the Cranky Flier rightly suggests, the wine prohibition at LAX demonstrates one of the biggest problems in the relationship airlines have with their customers: Inconsistency. Whether the rules officially vary from airport to airport (e.g., check-in times, luggage policies…) or are seemingly invented by front-line employees (e.g., lounge privileges, wine transportation…), the customer still comes away feeling frustrated. Not a great way to make friends and influence people.

Back in April, Air Canada introduced $20 discount for passengers who agreed 1) not to make any changes to their itinerary and 2) not to check any luggage.

Now, the airline is expanding the “Go Discount” program, making the calculation of your airfare even more a la carte:

The carrier is offering four fare types (Tango, Tango Plus, Latitude and Executive) and gives passengers the option to add or subtract items based on individual preferences. The offerings include value-added car rental and hotel services, lounge access for Latitude customers for C$25 ($22.30), advance seat selection for Tango customers (C$15), a C$5 inflight meal voucher option for Tango and Tango Plus customers and options for Tango, Tango Plus and Latitude passengers to save C$5 by not checking baggage and for Tango passengers to save C$7 by agreeing not to change or cancel flights and C$3 by declining frequent-flier miles.

The airline is claiming that the new policy increases price transparency. True enough, and there are some people who can probably benefit from this. But the benefits have their limits.

Putting a price tag on seat assignments — and such a high price tag — is obnoxious. I know, it’s already common practice in Europe, especially among charter airlines, but it’s still conduct unbecoming a full-service airline.

The meal vouchers are reasonable, in comparison. I’m not sure how many people would prefer the airline’s catering to a sandwich purchased in the airport, but at least the price is competitive.

It’s the C$3 discount for declining frequent flyer miles that really gets me. Besides the fact that not earning miles is heresy if you’re under my roof, it’s valuing the miles far too cheaply. I understand that this is aimed at the very infrequent flyer who never collects enough mileage to be worth a free trip, but 3 Canadian bucks?? A flight from Toronto to Vancouver covers 2085 miles each way — even at a conservative 1 cent per mile, that’s over C$40 worth…

It will be interesting to see if any American airlines follow suit. American Airlines has toyed with various fees (like the $1 soft drink experiment) so they might try this. Southwest, JetBlue, and USAirways are all prime candidates for this sort of pricing, too. But it will be difficult to align a menu of flight options with Expedia, Orbitz, etc. And it will make apples-to-apples comparisons of fares even harder, going forward.

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James Gilden takes on the subject of hotel companies’ “guaranteed lowest rates,” and how it’s often difficult, as a traveler, to enforce this rule. Companies promise you that their rates are the lowest, and that you can get a refund if you find a lower rate for the same room at the same property. But Gilden describes the travails of a customer who tried, at first in vain, to get Choice Hotels to honor their guarantee, after he found a lower rate elsewhere.

The company’s initial response is instructive: They replied that they were “unable to verify that the room offered at the lower rate is the same as the room you have booked.” In other words, was it a room with two beds, one king, etc.?

Falling back on this kind of mumbo-jumbo does a disservice to the company’s reputation and makes the guarantee itself seem silly. So how do you beat the system?

First, try to make sure you’re booking a specific room type that you can easily compare between websites for an apples-to-apples comparison. If you’ve got a reservation for a room with a king bed, you won’t be able to invoke the price guarantee if you find a lower price for a room with two double beds. The problem lies in the common description of hotel rooms, especially on some discounters’ sites, as “standard rooms” or “run-of-the house” rooms. Try to avoid booking these in the first place, since you never know what you’ll be stuck with.

Second, be persistent. If the company denies your request, escalate your request to a higher supervisor. Bring in the Better Business Bureau if you don’t get resolution. Consider alerting your credit card issuer as well, if you feel a credit is due, though this could be harder to manage.

Finally, vote with your wallet. If companies are failing to honor their guarantees, write to them and tell them you won’t be staying with them again.

And feel free to use the internet — like leaving comments or e-mail with this blog — to voice your frustrations.

Passengers onboard Pakistan International Airlines flight 704 were grounded in Manchester, England, for 30 hours because pilots found a stray cat in the cockpit.

The flight landed in Manchester, “where a cat search operation was launched.” It obviously took a while.

The plane was grounded until the cat could be found, since nothing is supposed to get into the aircraft’s instruments. I guess this nixes my advice to American Airlines for their onboard rodent problems.

While the stray feline might not make the cut for the next volume of Animals Aloft, the cat was clearly on a mission. Perhaps tired of being cooped up in the cargo hold, and ready to take the controls? Toonces would be proud…

Related:
- The flying petting zoo vs. the war on allergens

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Delta is giving away a boatload of free frequent flyer miles. Every day, one winner gets 50,000 miles (enough for two domestic coach tickets, or one ticket to Europe). And one grand prize winner gets 2,500,000 bonus miles plus $25,000 in spending cash.

Click here to sign up.

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