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When the TSA announced that it was allowing personal lubricants such as K-Y Jelly on board, I honestly asked myself why.

Besides gaining some inflight intimacy with a flying partner, or possibly performing some Ghostbusters-esque special effects onboard (to the inevitable delight of the flight crew, I’m sure), why would anyone need to have K-Y on board? It’s not like asthma mist, eye drops, or cough syrup.

Apparently, the TSA’s enforcers are second-guessing the policy. One of the Consumerist’s readers put the liberation of K-Y to the test and got the Heisman when asked how he’d be using it on the plane.

Note to TSA: If it’s explicitly permitted onboard, it should be permitted onboard. Period. No justification should be necessary. Think that’s not good enough? Change the policy, don’t make up rules as you go along. Jeez…

So what is a randy traveler to do? Two options…

First, you could do as thousands of flyers are doing, and sneak the goods onboard anyway. Just carry it in a pocket as you go through the metal detector. But this is not recommended, to say the least, since your plane might be turned back mid-flight if someone sees you breaking out the liquids inflight. If you sneak it on, prepare for a butt-kicking from angry passengers when the plane diverts.

Option two: Hire Bob Smith to fly you around in his airborne ’70s-style love van. USA Today profiled Captain Bob, who will take amorous couples to an altitude of one mile for an hour, for $299. You keep the sheets. (Classy.) K-Y optional.

(images: thePhotoPhreak, USA Today)
tags: travel | K-Y Jelly | mile high club