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“Hotel” rooms gone to the dogs
Some unscrupulous New York apartment managers are listing their units as “boutique hotels” through online booking agencies. Angry tourists find such “amenities” as a foldout sofabed that can’t fold out, because the room is too narrow. Sweet. Folks, we’ll say it again: Don’t book a hotel room, especially one you’ve never heard of, without looking it up on TripAdvisor first. Research!

Dogs gone to the hotel
Marx and Lenin would cite this as proof that capitalism has reached its highest and final stage: Hotels such as the James in Chicago, the St. Regis in Aspen, and the Loews Coronado Bay in San Diego are offering room service for pooches, with a full array of luxury spa and resort services. Some of the dog food menu items made my mouth water, which either says bad things about my tastes or amazing things about their pet menus.

Free food and wine, maybe even for your dog
Why pay the $75 fee for a puppy snack when you can eat and drink free in your hotel? HotelChatter mentions the Banks Mansion of Amsterdam, where the minibar is free, snacks and drinks are always available, and the breakfast is complimentary. While other hotels might use the economistically logical technique of lowering the room rate and then hitting you with the extras later, the Banks includes it all in the base rate. Did I mention free wine?

Light up my life
Smokers are no longer a security threat (though you may want to give them their own airline): TSA officials recommend that lighters be allowed back on board. Maybe they’re just tired of disposing of the 30,000 lighters they confiscate EVERY DAY.

Airline security komedy hijinx
The Onion: “Baggage-Handling Mixup Sends Dirty Bomb to St. Louis”

I can’t drive 55
The United States’ interstate highway system turned 50 years old yesterday. Chicago-based drivers celebrate on the Edens Expressway with a 55-minute drive from Lake Cook Road to the junction, blasting Sammy Hagar all the way.

Make you sweat ’til you bleed
Self-serving deodorant-maker Old Spice names “sweatiest cities in America.” In a shocker, Phoenix comes out on top, despite its legendary “dry heat.” Phoenix mayor Skip Rimsa received a year’s supply of deodorant as a consolation prize. But with three of the top ten cities in the desert, charges of foul play should be afoot. Reports of bribery, focusing on the Washington, DC judge, are unconfirmed.

Paging Mr. Freeze
Maybe the people in sweaty cities should just invest in an air-conditioned shirt. Hopefully you don’t have the get the freon recharged too often.

Free fallin’
Old news — from 1972, in fact — but still… Flight attendant falls from 33,000 feet (without parachute) and survives. If she’s not already there, Vesna Vulovic should be in the flight attendant exhibition at the International Women’s Air & Space Museum in Cleveland.