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James Wysong decries the state of inflight coffee and offers a number of theories that might explain why the coffee is subpar.

Coffee onboard is certainly better today than it used to be. But with name brands on board, like Starbucks on United, Seattle’s Best on Alaska, or local favorite Alterra on Midwest, expectations go up as well. It’s true, though, that coffee is still generally not as good in the air as on the ground. Plus, unless you’re riding up front on certain international flights, you can’t order a cappuccino in the air.

Wysong has five theories to explain the bad state of brew, but the five explanations really fall into three categories:

- The disgruntled flight attendant

Flight attendants want to make their jobs easier, so they brew bad coffee so no one will ask for a second cup, or they brew nothing but decaf to keep passengers sedate.

- The coffee roasters’ conspiracy

The coffee supplier sells crappy coffee to the airline to boost sales at airport vendors.

- The flawed brewing process

The process for brewing coffee on planes stinks, because the water isn’t hot enough, or the water from the “galley springs” tastes bad.

To be honest, if I had not read that the author of the piece was an airline flight attendant, I would have dismissed some of those hypotheses out of hand as a bit tin-foil-hat. (All airline coffee is decaf!!?! I’m skeptical…)

What I’ve found is that coffee varies by flight, not just by airline. The Starbucks coffee on United might be a watery swill one flight, and a reasonably robust brew on another.

If the caffeine on board isn’t all you wanted it to be, and you’re not as amped on the flight as you hoped, then perhaps a nap is in order. Can’t sleep on the plane? Maybe you’ll get lucky and arrive at an airport with a napping center. Vancouver is one such airport where you catch some quick z’s, with pods by Metronaps onsite. Hopefully located near a coffee shop.

tags: travel | air travel | coffee | naps | airports

Airlines periodically reduce the cost in miles for certain awards. Until February 28 of this year, for example, American and United both charged only 15,000 miles for North American flights under 750 miles.

Alaska Airlines offers a similar award sale, with reduced mileage requirements for certain flights. Valid only on specific routes between April 18 and June 8, 2006. See here for complete details.

Northwest also has an award sale, but for cash-and-miles combination awards for travel through June 5. See here for details. This is not necessarily a great offer, since awards must be booked with two weeks’ notice, when cheaper cash fares may still be available. Nonetheless, if you’re traveling to smaller, out-of-the-way airports, this could come in handy.

tags: travel | air travel | Northwest Airlines | Alaska Airlines

United Airlines is giving 25 Mileage Plus members a million miles each, in honor of the 25th anniversary of the program.

Registration required. Thereafter, each “qualifying segment” flown between March 27 and June 16 enters you into the drawing. What’s a qualifying segment? It seems like any flight on United or United Express.

You can also enter without flying. Instructions, along with the complete legal mumbo jumbo, are here. One nice point: If you win, they also give you $5000 toward any tax liability you incur.

Go to http://www.united.com/25million to enter.

tags: travel | air travel | United Airlines

Yet another salvo in the transatlantic business class wars…

Eos Airlines now offers a money-back guarantee, within certain parameters:

Maybe you think you’re flying the best business class to London. But we’re willing to bet you’re wrong. Our all-premium class airline is designed to be better. And if after flying with us you disagree, we will give you your money back.

Just call 800.583.0566 US or 0800.019.3658 UK by April 12, 2006 and book our special introductory $3,500 USD or £2000 GBP round trip fare for first time Eos flyers. This fare includes free car service and a ‘refresher room’ for arrivals at London Stansted. If you’re not 100% satisfied with your Eos experience, we’ll issue a full refund.

To qualify for our money-back guarantee, all you have to do is provide us with documentation that you’ve flown at least 2 round trips on British Airways, Virgin Atlantic or any combination of the two, in the past 6 months. Send your valid mileage statement or ticket receipt with boarding passes via email at contact@eosairlines.com or fax to 914.251.1819 at least 7 days prior to your departure.

I guess Eos doesn’t care about the premium-class travelers on American, United, Continental, Air India (!), … all airlines that also fly from the New York area to London.

Thanks to Today in the Sky for pointing this deal out. But note: I don’t see anything in those conditions that specifies where you need to have flown on British or Virgin in order to qualify. The title on the page says they’re targeting business class travelers on those airlines, but there’s not much detail in the terms…

The English-language edition of Der Spiegel has a brilliant series on surviving Germany as a non-German. The Germany Survival Bible is required reading for anyone traveling there. After many, many trips to Germany, I can verify that it’s all true.

Particularly essential: Never apologize (or expect an apology) for any bodily contact while walking. Do not expect people to stand in line properly, and be prepared to fight for your turn. I would add that you should expect your Achilles heel to be bruised after any trip to the supermarket. The person behind you is bound to shove their cart into you, with nary an apology, unless you lay into them. (And don’t forget that you have to bag your groceries yourself, and you’d better keep up with the cashier’s rapid-fire pace!)

But perhaps most importantly: Prepare yourself mentally for the uniquely German toilet, and its dreaded shelf.

Its origins are mysterious. One legend I’ve heard about the shelf is that it was designed to make it easier for people with a tapeworm to, erm, inspect the goods.

I can’t vouch for that one. But the guide to Germany’s quirks is good. If only every country’s national magazine had one.

tags: travel | culture shock | Germany | Sitzpinkel

Travelers hoping for an empty adjacent seat on startup airlines MaxJet and Eos Airlines are in luck. The all-business class carriers are flying rather empty thus far, according to the Times of London.

The numbers aren’t broken out, but the two airlines combined to show a 32% load factor, i.e., two out of three seats left empty. MaxJet’s fleet consists of Boeing 767-200s configured for 102 passengers, while Eos flies 757s outfitted with 48 seats. Maxjet’s CEO, Gary Rogliano, charges that competitor Eos’ planes are only carrying 5 to 10 passengers per flight — a load factor between 10 and 20%, if true. Compare this to the major airlines’ load factors, which hover near 80%.

Rogliano also argues that the winter is a slow travel season — but this is primarily true for leisure travel, not business travel. The summer is when we really see business-class bookings across the Atlantic drop, and when the airlines offer business class sale fares.

Maybe this is where the real Maxjet business model lies: high-rolling vacationers, and not business travelers at all. While the MaxJet model has its flaws, its sale fares are still a great deal for high quality inflight service. Perhaps they’ll survive on tourist bookings, if they can stay aloft.

If you wanted to experience the ambiance of a 1985-era sports bar in the sky, you’ve missed your chance. Hooters Air is shutting down.

The Hooters Air experiment, the epitome of classy travel from the get-go, has seemed like it was on the brink for some time. They cancelled flights abruptly around the holidays, they didn’t pay their fuel bills, and they were even taken to court over their very business idea. In June 2005, three former Southern Illinois University students sued Hooters, claiming the company had stolen their idea for an airline. At this point, maybe Hooters should be suing those guys instead.

Nonetheless, I’m sure we’ll all miss the jokes and puns that write themselves with a subject like this one… “leaving the mile high club”… “going bust”… etc. etc.

(image: safetycards.de)
tags: travel | air travel | Hooters Air

A recent article, touting the fact that Delta now flies to all 50 United States, caught my eye. I wondered how the other major airlines in the United States compare.

Delta is indeed the only airline to reach all 50 states — that is, while relying on Delta-branded commuter/regional airlines, but without relying on codeshares. Recently-added service to Delaware made it an even 50.

Northwest comes closest: 49 out of 50 states, with only Delaware left out.

United is next, leaving out Delaware and Mississippi.

The new US Airways (including America West) excludes Delaware (again!), North Dakota, and Wyoming.

Continental doesn’t fly to Delaware, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, or Wyoming.

American is only 86% American, since it ignores Delaware, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, and West Virginia. Tsk, tsk.

Southwest pulls up the rear, flying to merely 35 of 50 states. No, Delaware is not on the list. Delaware just doesn’t get the airlines’ respect.

Whether Delta’s 50-state gambit makes business sense remains to be seen. Remember that Richard Nixon was the first and only presidential candidate to campaign in all 50 states (in 1960). He lost.

(image: gratuitous public domain Nixon photograph)
tags: travel | air travel | airlines | Nixon

“I can’t redeem my miles.”

It’s been a tough week for frequent flyer programs — en masse — in the media. Joe Sharkey at the NY Times, Keith Alexander at the Washington Post, and even Cory Doctorow at boingboing.net have joined in.

What bugs me in all three cases is the universalization of the problem to all programs: They use specific examples of flyers not getting the tickets they want (Continental, Delta, and British Airways are named) but they go on to put down redemption ability at ALL programs. Not all programs stink equally.

Take the example in the WaPo: checking the NY-LA route that the disgruntled customer wanted to book on Delta in first class, I see plenty of availability on arbitrary summer dates on American and United. It’s not frequent flyer programs as a whole: It’s Delta! This kind of lumping-together of all programs into the same basket drives me nuts.

At least today’s WaPo article offers a smidgen of advice: Try to be flexible on dates. And try to use the miles internationally, instead. Broaden those horizons.

What they don’t offer is other important suggestions: 1) Keep trying. If there are no saver awards today, that doesn’t mean there will never be saver awards. 2) Consider partner airlines or alternate routings. Instead of flying LAX to JFK, try LAX to Newark. 3) Check the price of the ticket you’re considering “buying” with miles, to make sure you’re not wasting your miles on a ticket that could be bought super-cheap.

tags: travel | air travel | frequent flyer programs

I’m often asked whether a particular flight would be a good use of frequent flyer miles. Because the value of miles is flexible, it’s not always apparent whether or not a given itinerary is a better deal in cash or in miles. So I’ve developed Miles or Buy. It’s designed to help travelers maximize the value of your miles, and to provide (hopefully) useful advice to those looking to score award seats.

Feedback is welcome!

Miles or Buy
A guide for planning air travel and redeeming your frequent flyer miles

In a nighttime drill, 873 volunteers scrambled out of a parked Airbus super-ultra-mega-jumbo A380 in 80 seconds, ten seconds faster than the target. One person broke a leg, and 32 others suffered “friction burns.” Ouch. This was called “a great success.” (It was certainly better than the 1991 test of a McDonnell-Douglas MD-11, during which an unfortunate volunteer broke her neck and was left paralyzed.)

Apparently, Airbus engineers were worried that passengers would balk at jumping onto the slides from the upper level of the aircraft. It’s a long drop. This didn’t turn out to be an issue in the laboratory setting of the test, but if the “friction burns” are any indication, then it might be nice to add a little something to slide surfaces to make the trip down a little easier…

(image: Airbus)
tags: travel | air travel | Airbus A380

Mesa Air, which flies regional jets for Delta, United, and USAirways, opened for business in Hawaii today. Their new brand “Go!” is flying between islands for $39 a pop, as an introductory fare. Competitors Aloha, Hawaiian, and Island Air are matching the fares, which may earn miles on partner programs as well.

Mesa / Go! will be operating 50-seat Canadair Regional Jets. While CRJs are generally unloved aircraft, thanks to their tight interior dimensions, they may be tolerable on such a short flight.

Much like Independence Air, which recently liquidated after its unsuccessful effort at building a CRJ-centric low cost airline, there are potential hazards for Mesa here. They don’t have a frequent flyer program yet (”coming soon”) and they don’t codeshare with any of the majors. Go!’s planes are smaller than their competitors, and CRJs are expensive to operate, on a cost-per-passenger basis. But Mesa is a well-funded company. We’ll see how they fare. (oooh, no pun intended)

But wave riders take note of this onerous policy: Go! specifically prohibits the transportation of surfboards. Not enough room in the cargo hold.

(images: spartanjoe; Go!)
tags: travel | air travel | Hawaii